Boyfriend of 6m initiated a “state of the union” meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. For those saying they prefer more of a organic discussion, his perspective is that he’d rather address things early and preemptively than wait until they build up to resentments / organic discussion level.

Thanks, OP, for this comment. This also goes for sex. I don't see why scheduling sex is a bad, unsexy thing. I think of it as a date, something to look forward to, something to anticipate. Organically ... that doesn't happen always. Or DH & I are out of sync. Or my period comes. Or whatever. But scheduling (even just the most basic of schedules ... me thinking ahead of time that we'll have sex Thursday or Friday this week) keeps me looking toward something.

And organic discussions - can be heated. Aren't well thought out. Miss things. focus on the negative and not the positive. So, why the f not schedule them? I like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should be talking about things throughout, as soon as they come up.

He doesn’t sound like a lot of fun to me.

Love the concept. I do. But reality for many people means it takes a little thought or reflection to figure out what they are feeling and what they actually want. So stepping back and reflecting, thinking through the issues, taking notes, and being really deliberate works for me. it also would help me be kinder and view things more objectively. It also takes the pressure off - you don't have to be articulate in the moment. Feelings won't get exaggerated and things won't get stormy.

[Anonymous]

Is this a Taylor swift/ Travis kelcy rip since that’s what they are doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would run far, far away.

But maybe that’s just me. I’d like more of an organic discussion. It’s not a bad idea to periodically check in to see if you’re on the same page about things, etc, but this just seems too contrived.

I have to agree.

This is so methodical to me that I couldn’t be comfortable going along w/it.

After all, a relationship should not be so transactional dynamic-wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would run far, far away.

But maybe that’s just me. I’d like more of an organic discussion. It’s not a bad idea to periodically check in to see if you’re on the same page about things, etc, but this just seems too contrived.

I have to agree.

This is so methodical to me that I couldn’t be comfortable going along w/it.

After all, a relationship should not be so transactional dynamic-wise.

It’s not at all transactional. It is methodical though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. All went well. We split a bottle of wine and made good use of the hotel room; he said I’m the best thing that has ever happened to him.

Is he a Capricorn though? And you’re a Taurus?

My husband and I are similar to the OP's boyfriend and we're both aquarius, all those sign things are so silly

[Anonymous]

OP I'm sure you're long gone but you know the problem with asking something like this here? You have no idea who is saying what. Like what percentage of the people here who are saying 'this is crazy he's a controlling freak' are people who are unmarried commitment phobes or people in unhappy marriages with communication issues or the reverse?

What percentage of the people saying its great are in happy long marriages are the reverse?

You simply don't know.

I am in a long happy healthy marriage where we are perhaps not quite as official and my husband not quite as proactive but have similar kind of game plan, assessment, evaluation meetings on all kinds of topics. I agree with an earlier poster who said its either amazing or terrible and no in between and only you can know the difference. Sounds like in this case its amazing! So good luck!