Boyfriend of 6m initiated a “state of the union” meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that “it depends.” Being able to honestly discuss your relationship is an important skill so (potentially) kudos to him for being able to communicate. But if this is just an excuse for him to say all the things you need to do differently, then that would be a giant red flag.

Yeah, like you can agree to do this and each bring topics that matter to you without having a checklist. Also, why do I feel like OP is leaving out he is a therapist or one in training :/
I think a more casual version of this can be a good way to keep lines of communication; and *love* the PP who said it’s either really great or really…not great.

[Anonymous]

He going to propose

[Anonymous]

OP what do *you* think about all of this? That’s what matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. He isn’t controlling of me at all. He’s very in control of his own life but not of me or mine.

Why are you here wasting everyone's time if you only want to hear he's great, it's a wonderful idea, and no red flags at all. Go to your review meeting and stop bothering the forum with your nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Do you get a bonus ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. For those saying they prefer more of a organic discussion, his perspective is that he’d rather address things early and preemptively than wait until they build up to resentments / organic discussion level.

But why can't you say things in the moment, not save them up? That's open communication. to me.

Also, not everything can be addressed preemptively.

I'll echo the poster who says have you seen or how does he react when things don't go as planned? Or if you want to change plans? It's VERY important you know the answer to those questions before any sort of engagement or marriage happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should be talking about things throughout, as soon as they come up.

He doesn’t sound like a lot of fun to me.

I would hope that many of the topics alluded to have been discussed to some extent before.

As far as the advance list of topics or questions, I wonder if the op is an introvert? I think most of us with some semblance of emotional intelligence understand that introverts like to have time to think about things (especially important things) before they talk about them.

[Anonymous]

Show up with a new boyfriend. Videotape for TicTok

[Anonymous]

I think it's corny and weird.

[Anonymous]

Write a valentine outside the hotel door like this

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1q5DkiHxuEM

[Anonymous]

My spouse does an annual review and compensation adjustment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should be talking about things throughout, as soon as they come up.

He doesn’t sound like a lot of fun to me.

I would hope that many of the topics alluded to have been discussed to some extent before.

As far as the advance list of topics or questions, I wonder if the op is an introvert? I think most of us with some semblance of emotional intelligence understand that introverts like to have time to think about things (especially important things) before they talk about them.

Do extraverts not like to think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. He isn’t controlling of me at all. He’s very in control of his own life but not of me or mine.

Why are you here wasting everyone's time if you only want to hear he's great, it's a wonderful idea, and no red flags at all. Go to your review meeting and stop bothering the forum with your nonsense.

OP is raising a concern about her own life.
You are going out of your way to follow someone else's life, and complaining that it bothers you. Go touch grass

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man who is proactive about communicating and booked a hotel room? Sign me up as long as there are no other red flags ie big grievances.

The hotel room thing is weird…surely each of these people has a living space to meet at?

Probably he has a better imagination than you for the hotel room.

If this was supposed to be a sexy getaway, sure. When you frame it as a business meeting, it’s weird.

Role playing an affair on a business trip. m
Mrowr!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that “it depends.” Being able to honestly discuss your relationship is an important skill so (potentially) kudos to him for being able to communicate. But if this is just an excuse for him to say all the things you need to do differently, then that would be a giant red flag.

Green flag. Good to get that aired out, regardless of he's going to say good things or bad things. Goog information either way.