Is divorce my final ruin? (Millennial edition)

[Anonymous]

OP if you divorce in this scenario you are a moron. Divorce is not an option for you. Buckle down, get a higher paying job, stop spending on things you can’t afford. If you have to work in public service for ten years to get your loans forgiven, do it. You are early 30s. It’s nose to the grindstone time. Many of us didn’t have any financial security until our 50s if ever. If you had three kids with student loans you’re an idiot, and if you then bought a house you couldn’t afford I don’t know what to tell you.

[Anonymous]

OP, what do you and your DH do for a living and what are your incomes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the replies in this thread sound closer to OP’s tone than the posters realize or intend. The vast majority of the posters here castigating OP for her whininess and self-absorption sound equally whiny and self-absorbed (you think YOU have it bad? Well let me tell you about ME! YOUR life is easy!).

Additionally, most of these posters seem as though they are just about boiling over with rage, which to me indicates that they are NOT handling their own lives as wonderfully as they would have OP believe.

Lashing out at random strangers on an anonymous mommy message board is not a healthy way to relieve stress, people.

I don't get anyone boiling over with rage?

Exactly. We're being dismissive and basically saying OP's feelings aren't valid. I realize that is the WORST THING YOU COULD DO TO A MILLENNIAL -- invalidate feelings or whatever -- but it's truth.

I mean… exhibit A? Why are you so mad at millennials? You clearly have some sort of unresolved stress/anger/rage/unhappiness yourself to post something like this.

Everyone pushing back on my previous post is clearly triggered by it. As the saying goes: “The truth hurts. That’s how you know it’s true.”

"The fact that you disagree with me proves that what I said is true." Fascinating logic.

Actually it is a perfectly logical statement. If some random person maligned your character or behavior in some way that you know is 100% untrue, you wouldn’t give the comment a second thought. (Like water off a duck’s back, right?) The fact that the comment makes you so angry and defensive means there’s some truth to it. (Otherwise, why react to it at all, let alone defend yourself or insult the messenger?)

Remember, the first step to solving your problem is admitting that you have a problem! You’re welcome.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are all %&$Woles. While I'm not in this posters shoes, I'm a first generation college student, student loaned mom who moved to dc to do good. No PP, I couldn't call on my parents for help with loans or down payments, so my partner and I pieced together what we could, and we do...ok. We get by but we aren't getting ahead. I'm just glad we aren't buying under these new interest rates.

I also think there's a huge untapped UGH/GRIEF/TRAUMA whatever people are comfortable calling in about parents of young kids during the pandemic. Maybe I should start a new thread or ask some journalist to do an investigative operation, but the untapped marital and work stress of the pandemic on working moms who are the breadwinners has to be a trauma no one has read into (and I don't use trauma lightly).

I can’t agree more. We ourselves were lucky, but I know plenty of otherwise competent people who were incredibly stressed out and still digging out of those holes mentally. It’s no wonder social events have reduced in number.

Oh spare me the dramatics about Covid. That was such a nothingburger.

PP, you have multiple kids in daycare when they shut down for six months?

OP, I am two years older than you and never had an opportunity to buy a house so you were lucky! It also sounds like you didn't experience trouble having children or any major health issues for you or your kids. You are lucky. Please look at it from that perspective. Then try to evaluate your relationship on its own merits without the noise.

Oh no, taking care of your own children was so traumatizing.

Spare me.

Jesus, you ignorant people.

Taking care of your own children who are just learning to walk while you have a stressful job at a government agency dealing with the pandemic?

Shit happens. You deal. This was nothing compared to the actual traumas facing older generations. Nothing. NOTHING.

+1. My dad went hungry a lot as a kid. Please, OP, get a grip.

Seriously. My boomer dad had a dirt floor and no electricity on their farm, that my grandparents scratched out of the earth during the Depression. Then he was drafted for Vietnam. I grew up poor too but worked my way through college and made it to the middle class as a Gen-X-er but barely and it was damn hard.

But we all STILL had it better than every generation before them in human history.

Yes, Millennials and Gen-Z have problems too, not the least of which is their complete lack of knowledge of history, apparently.

Another GenX here and I agree with everything the PP said. We had our own struggles and complications but I have no doubt our lives were easier than our parents. And my own kids who are teenagers have advantages I could never have dreamed of. Self-pity is pointless and corrosive. Do your best, work hard, change what makes you unhappy instead of spinning some narrative that the world is against you.

I think this is where an understanding of human history is useful, or even an understanding of the last 200 years or so of American history.

Yes, white Americans had a period of unprecedented prosperity in the mid 20th century. There were a raft of government programs that were undertaken to lift up the entire (white) population, from the GI Bill, to highways projects, to the entire project of building out the suburbs and making sure people could afford to buy homes.

But not only were those gains unavailable to non-white Americans (look it up), but they were also pretty temporary. By the time we got around to extending all of those social welfare programs to Black and brown Americans, they were suddenly too expensive to continue funding.

It's absolutely true that Millennials as a group have a steeper road to climb to middle class prosperity than their parents, but their definition of "middle class" is also a heck of a lot more expensive. Because they themselves grew up in 3500 square foot McMansions in highly segregated suburbs, they think that's what middle class looks like and spurn integrated close-in neighborhoods that actually much more closely resemble what middle class looked like before the massive wealth transfers of the New Deal to white Americans.

Millennials don’t have a “steeper road to climb to middle class prosperity.” Most of them were born INTO it. But they lack the self-awareness to realize it. That’s what people mean when they talk about it being such an entitled generation. Yes, their Boomer parents provided that, but their starting baseline in life is so much better than any other generation in history.

They also stand inherit $72 trillion in The Great Wealth Transfer. But, they still want a trophy. I'm GenX OP, so you can have mine. Oh wait, I didn't get one.

Won’t our boomer parents blow it all on end of life care since people live to 90 now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are all %&$Woles. While I'm not in this posters shoes, I'm a first generation college student, student loaned mom who moved to dc to do good. No PP, I couldn't call on my parents for help with loans or down payments, so my partner and I pieced together what we could, and we do...ok. We get by but we aren't getting ahead. I'm just glad we aren't buying under these new interest rates.

I also think there's a huge untapped UGH/GRIEF/TRAUMA whatever people are comfortable calling in about parents of young kids during the pandemic. Maybe I should start a new thread or ask some journalist to do an investigative operation, but the untapped marital and work stress of the pandemic on working moms who are the breadwinners has to be a trauma no one has read into (and I don't use trauma lightly).

I can’t agree more. We ourselves were lucky, but I know plenty of otherwise competent people who were incredibly stressed out and still digging out of those holes mentally. It’s no wonder social events have reduced in number.

Oh spare me the dramatics about Covid. That was such a nothingburger.

PP, you have multiple kids in daycare when they shut down for six months?

OP, I am two years older than you and never had an opportunity to buy a house so you were lucky! It also sounds like you didn't experience trouble having children or any major health issues for you or your kids. You are lucky. Please look at it from that perspective. Then try to evaluate your relationship on its own merits without the noise.

Oh no, taking care of your own children was so traumatizing.

Spare me.

Jesus, you ignorant people.

Taking care of your own children who are just learning to walk while you have a stressful job at a government agency dealing with the pandemic?

Shit happens. You deal. This was nothing compared to the actual traumas facing older generations. Nothing. NOTHING.

+1. My dad went hungry a lot as a kid. Please, OP, get a grip.

Seriously. My boomer dad had a dirt floor and no electricity on their farm, that my grandparents scratched out of the earth during the Depression. Then he was drafted for Vietnam. I grew up poor too but worked my way through college and made it to the middle class as a Gen-X-er but barely and it was damn hard.

But we all STILL had it better than every generation before them in human history.

Yes, Millennials and Gen-Z have problems too, not the least of which is their complete lack of knowledge of history, apparently.

Another GenX here and I agree with everything the PP said. We had our own struggles and complications but I have no doubt our lives were easier than our parents. And my own kids who are teenagers have advantages I could never have dreamed of. Self-pity is pointless and corrosive. Do your best, work hard, change what makes you unhappy instead of spinning some narrative that the world is against you.

I think this is where an understanding of human history is useful, or even an understanding of the last 200 years or so of American history.

Yes, white Americans had a period of unprecedented prosperity in the mid 20th century. There were a raft of government programs that were undertaken to lift up the entire (white) population, from the GI Bill, to highways projects, to the entire project of building out the suburbs and making sure people could afford to buy homes.

But not only were those gains unavailable to non-white Americans (look it up), but they were also pretty temporary. By the time we got around to extending all of those social welfare programs to Black and brown Americans, they were suddenly too expensive to continue funding.

It's absolutely true that Millennials as a group have a steeper road to climb to middle class prosperity than their parents, but their definition of "middle class" is also a heck of a lot more expensive. Because they themselves grew up in 3500 square foot McMansions in highly segregated suburbs, they think that's what middle class looks like and spurn integrated close-in neighborhoods that actually much more closely resemble what middle class looked like before the massive wealth transfers of the New Deal to white Americans.

Millennials don’t have a “steeper road to climb to middle class prosperity.” Most of them were born INTO it. But they lack the self-awareness to realize it. That’s what people mean when they talk about it being such an entitled generation. Yes, their Boomer parents provided that, but their starting baseline in life is so much better than any other generation in history.

They also stand inherit $72 trillion in The Great Wealth Transfer. But, they still want a trophy. I'm GenX OP, so you can have mine. Oh wait, I didn't get one.

Won’t our boomer parents blow it all on end of life care since people live to 90 now?

Man it's so unfair my parents want to live a long time and get medical care when they age. I want their money. I am ENTITLED to their money!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are all %&$Woles. While I'm not in this posters shoes, I'm a first generation college student, student loaned mom who moved to dc to do good. No PP, I couldn't call on my parents for help with loans or down payments, so my partner and I pieced together what we could, and we do...ok. We get by but we aren't getting ahead. I'm just glad we aren't buying under these new interest rates.

I also think there's a huge untapped UGH/GRIEF/TRAUMA whatever people are comfortable calling in about parents of young kids during the pandemic. Maybe I should start a new thread or ask some journalist to do an investigative operation, but the untapped marital and work stress of the pandemic on working moms who are the breadwinners has to be a trauma no one has read into (and I don't use trauma lightly).

I can’t agree more. We ourselves were lucky, but I know plenty of otherwise competent people who were incredibly stressed out and still digging out of those holes mentally. It’s no wonder social events have reduced in number.

Oh spare me the dramatics about Covid. That was such a nothingburger.

PP, you have multiple kids in daycare when they shut down for six months?

OP, I am two years older than you and never had an opportunity to buy a house so you were lucky! It also sounds like you didn't experience trouble having children or any major health issues for you or your kids. You are lucky. Please look at it from that perspective. Then try to evaluate your relationship on its own merits without the noise.

Oh no, taking care of your own children was so traumatizing.

Spare me.

Jesus, you ignorant people.

Taking care of your own children who are just learning to walk while you have a stressful job at a government agency dealing with the pandemic?

Shit happens. You deal. This was nothing compared to the actual traumas facing older generations. Nothing. NOTHING.

+1. My dad went hungry a lot as a kid. Please, OP, get a grip.

Seriously. My boomer dad had a dirt floor and no electricity on their farm, that my grandparents scratched out of the earth during the Depression. Then he was drafted for Vietnam. I grew up poor too but worked my way through college and made it to the middle class as a Gen-X-er but barely and it was damn hard.

But we all STILL had it better than every generation before them in human history.

Yes, Millennials and Gen-Z have problems too, not the least of which is their complete lack of knowledge of history, apparently.

Another GenX here and I agree with everything the PP said. We had our own struggles and complications but I have no doubt our lives were easier than our parents. And my own kids who are teenagers have advantages I could never have dreamed of. Self-pity is pointless and corrosive. Do your best, work hard, change what makes you unhappy instead of spinning some narrative that the world is against you.

I think this is where an understanding of human history is useful, or even an understanding of the last 200 years or so of American history.

Yes, white Americans had a period of unprecedented prosperity in the mid 20th century. There were a raft of government programs that were undertaken to lift up the entire (white) population, from the GI Bill, to highways projects, to the entire project of building out the suburbs and making sure people could afford to buy homes.

But not only were those gains unavailable to non-white Americans (look it up), but they were also pretty temporary. By the time we got around to extending all of those social welfare programs to Black and brown Americans, they were suddenly too expensive to continue funding.

It's absolutely true that Millennials as a group have a steeper road to climb to middle class prosperity than their parents, but their definition of "middle class" is also a heck of a lot more expensive. Because they themselves grew up in 3500 square foot McMansions in highly segregated suburbs, they think that's what middle class looks like and spurn integrated close-in neighborhoods that actually much more closely resemble what middle class looked like before the massive wealth transfers of the New Deal to white Americans.

Millennials don’t have a “steeper road to climb to middle class prosperity.” Most of them were born INTO it. But they lack the self-awareness to realize it. That’s what people mean when they talk about it being such an entitled generation. Yes, their Boomer parents provided that, but their starting baseline in life is so much better than any other generation in history.

They also stand inherit $72 trillion in The Great Wealth Transfer. But, they still want a trophy. I'm GenX OP, so you can have mine. Oh wait, I didn't get one.

Won’t our boomer parents blow it all on end of life care since people live to 90 now?

Man it's so unfair my parents want to live a long time and get medical care when they age. I want their money. I am ENTITLED to their money!

Well to PP’s point, the end of life care facilities and healthcare industrial complex will be the real inheritors of the supposed “Great Wealth Transfer”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are all %&$Woles. While I'm not in this posters shoes, I'm a first generation college student, student loaned mom who moved to dc to do good. No PP, I couldn't call on my parents for help with loans or down payments, so my partner and I pieced together what we could, and we do...ok. We get by but we aren't getting ahead. I'm just glad we aren't buying under these new interest rates.

I also think there's a huge untapped UGH/GRIEF/TRAUMA whatever people are comfortable calling in about parents of young kids during the pandemic. Maybe I should start a new thread or ask some journalist to do an investigative operation, but the untapped marital and work stress of the pandemic on working moms who are the breadwinners has to be a trauma no one has read into (and I don't use trauma lightly).

I can’t agree more. We ourselves were lucky, but I know plenty of otherwise competent people who were incredibly stressed out and still digging out of those holes mentally. It’s no wonder social events have reduced in number.

Oh spare me the dramatics about Covid. That was such a nothingburger.

PP, you have multiple kids in daycare when they shut down for six months?

OP, I am two years older than you and never had an opportunity to buy a house so you were lucky! It also sounds like you didn't experience trouble having children or any major health issues for you or your kids. You are lucky. Please look at it from that perspective. Then try to evaluate your relationship on its own merits without the noise.

Oh no, taking care of your own children was so traumatizing.

Spare me.

Jesus, you ignorant people.

Taking care of your own children who are just learning to walk while you have a stressful job at a government agency dealing with the pandemic?

Shit happens. You deal. This was nothing compared to the actual traumas facing older generations. Nothing. NOTHING.

+1. My dad went hungry a lot as a kid. Please, OP, get a grip.

Seriously. My boomer dad had a dirt floor and no electricity on their farm, that my grandparents scratched out of the earth during the Depression. Then he was drafted for Vietnam. I grew up poor too but worked my way through college and made it to the middle class as a Gen-X-er but barely and it was damn hard.

But we all STILL had it better than every generation before them in human history.

Yes, Millennials and Gen-Z have problems too, not the least of which is their complete lack of knowledge of history, apparently.

Another GenX here and I agree with everything the PP said. We had our own struggles and complications but I have no doubt our lives were easier than our parents. And my own kids who are teenagers have advantages I could never have dreamed of. Self-pity is pointless and corrosive. Do your best, work hard, change what makes you unhappy instead of spinning some narrative that the world is against you.

I think this is where an understanding of human history is useful, or even an understanding of the last 200 years or so of American history.

Yes, white Americans had a period of unprecedented prosperity in the mid 20th century. There were a raft of government programs that were undertaken to lift up the entire (white) population, from the GI Bill, to highways projects, to the entire project of building out the suburbs and making sure people could afford to buy homes.

But not only were those gains unavailable to non-white Americans (look it up), but they were also pretty temporary. By the time we got around to extending all of those social welfare programs to Black and brown Americans, they were suddenly too expensive to continue funding.

It's absolutely true that Millennials as a group have a steeper road to climb to middle class prosperity than their parents, but their definition of "middle class" is also a heck of a lot more expensive. Because they themselves grew up in 3500 square foot McMansions in highly segregated suburbs, they think that's what middle class looks like and spurn integrated close-in neighborhoods that actually much more closely resemble what middle class looked like before the massive wealth transfers of the New Deal to white Americans.

Millennials don’t have a “steeper road to climb to middle class prosperity.” Most of them were born INTO it. But they lack the self-awareness to realize it. That’s what people mean when they talk about it being such an entitled generation. Yes, their Boomer parents provided that, but their starting baseline in life is so much better than any other generation in history.

They also stand inherit $72 trillion in The Great Wealth Transfer. But, they still want a trophy. I'm GenX OP, so you can have mine. Oh wait, I didn't get one.

Won’t our boomer parents blow it all on end of life care since people live to 90 now?

Man it's so unfair my parents want to live a long time and get medical care when they age. I want their money. I am ENTITLED to their money!

Their money that they earned from their easy, steady jobs where they were promoted just for showing up and breathing? Often with a fat pension? That they earned from the appreciation that got on their incredibly affordable family home? And maybe even second home that was also, wait for it, affordable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the replies in this thread sound closer to OP’s tone than the posters realize or intend. The vast majority of the posters here castigating OP for her whininess and self-absorption sound equally whiny and self-absorbed (you think YOU have it bad? Well let me tell you about ME! YOUR life is easy!).

Additionally, most of these posters seem as though they are just about boiling over with rage, which to me indicates that they are NOT handling their own lives as wonderfully as they would have OP believe.

Lashing out at random strangers on an anonymous mommy message board is not a healthy way to relieve stress, people.

I don't get anyone boiling over with rage?

Exactly. We're being dismissive and basically saying OP's feelings aren't valid. I realize that is the WORST THING YOU COULD DO TO A MILLENNIAL -- invalidate feelings or whatever -- but it's truth.

I mean… exhibit A? Why are you so mad at millennials? You clearly have some sort of unresolved stress/anger/rage/unhappiness yourself to post something like this.

Everyone pushing back on my previous post is clearly triggered by it. As the saying goes: “The truth hurts. That’s how you know it’s true.”

"The fact that you disagree with me proves that what I said is true." Fascinating logic.

Actually it is a perfectly logical statement. If some random person maligned your character or behavior in some way that you know is 100% untrue, you wouldn’t give the comment a second thought. (Like water off a duck’s back, right?) The fact that the comment makes you so angry and defensive means there’s some truth to it. (Otherwise, why react to it at all, let alone defend yourself or insult the messenger?)

Remember, the first step to solving your problem is admitting that you have a problem! You’re welcome.

This is gibberish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are all %&$Woles. While I'm not in this posters shoes, I'm a first generation college student, student loaned mom who moved to dc to do good. No PP, I couldn't call on my parents for help with loans or down payments, so my partner and I pieced together what we could, and we do...ok. We get by but we aren't getting ahead. I'm just glad we aren't buying under these new interest rates.

I also think there's a huge untapped UGH/GRIEF/TRAUMA whatever people are comfortable calling in about parents of young kids during the pandemic. Maybe I should start a new thread or ask some journalist to do an investigative operation, but the untapped marital and work stress of the pandemic on working moms who are the breadwinners has to be a trauma no one has read into (and I don't use trauma lightly).

I can’t agree more. We ourselves were lucky, but I know plenty of otherwise competent people who were incredibly stressed out and still digging out of those holes mentally. It’s no wonder social events have reduced in number.

Oh spare me the dramatics about Covid. That was such a nothingburger.

PP, you have multiple kids in daycare when they shut down for six months?

OP, I am two years older than you and never had an opportunity to buy a house so you were lucky! It also sounds like you didn't experience trouble having children or any major health issues for you or your kids. You are lucky. Please look at it from that perspective. Then try to evaluate your relationship on its own merits without the noise.

Oh no, taking care of your own children was so traumatizing.

Spare me.

Jesus, you ignorant people.

Taking care of your own children who are just learning to walk while you have a stressful job at a government agency dealing with the pandemic?

Shit happens. You deal. This was nothing compared to the actual traumas facing older generations. Nothing. NOTHING.

+1. My dad went hungry a lot as a kid. Please, OP, get a grip.

Seriously. My boomer dad had a dirt floor and no electricity on their farm, that my grandparents scratched out of the earth during the Depression. Then he was drafted for Vietnam. I grew up poor too but worked my way through college and made it to the middle class as a Gen-X-er but barely and it was damn hard.

But we all STILL had it better than every generation before them in human history.

Yes, Millennials and Gen-Z have problems too, not the least of which is their complete lack of knowledge of history, apparently.

Another GenX here and I agree with everything the PP said. We had our own struggles and complications but I have no doubt our lives were easier than our parents. And my own kids who are teenagers have advantages I could never have dreamed of. Self-pity is pointless and corrosive. Do your best, work hard, change what makes you unhappy instead of spinning some narrative that the world is against you.

I think this is where an understanding of human history is useful, or even an understanding of the last 200 years or so of American history.

Yes, white Americans had a period of unprecedented prosperity in the mid 20th century. There were a raft of government programs that were undertaken to lift up the entire (white) population, from the GI Bill, to highways projects, to the entire project of building out the suburbs and making sure people could afford to buy homes.

But not only were those gains unavailable to non-white Americans (look it up), but they were also pretty temporary. By the time we got around to extending all of those social welfare programs to Black and brown Americans, they were suddenly too expensive to continue funding.

It's absolutely true that Millennials as a group have a steeper road to climb to middle class prosperity than their parents, but their definition of "middle class" is also a heck of a lot more expensive. Because they themselves grew up in 3500 square foot McMansions in highly segregated suburbs, they think that's what middle class looks like and spurn integrated close-in neighborhoods that actually much more closely resemble what middle class looked like before the massive wealth transfers of the New Deal to white Americans.

Millennials don’t have a “steeper road to climb to middle class prosperity.” Most of them were born INTO it. But they lack the self-awareness to realize it. That’s what people mean when they talk about it being such an entitled generation. Yes, their Boomer parents provided that, but their starting baseline in life is so much better than any other generation in history.

They also stand inherit $72 trillion in The Great Wealth Transfer. But, they still want a trophy. I'm GenX OP, so you can have mine. Oh wait, I didn't get one.

Won’t our boomer parents blow it all on end of life care since people live to 90 now?

Man it's so unfair my parents want to live a long time and get medical care when they age. I want their money. I am ENTITLED to their money!

Their money that they earned from their easy, steady jobs where they were promoted just for showing up and breathing? Often with a fat pension? That they earned from the appreciation that got on their incredibly affordable family home? And maybe even second home that was also, wait for it, affordable?

Wow. You are one entitled little brat, aren’t you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the replies in this thread sound closer to OP’s tone than the posters realize or intend. The vast majority of the posters here castigating OP for her whininess and self-absorption sound equally whiny and self-absorbed (you think YOU have it bad? Well let me tell you about ME! YOUR life is easy!).

Additionally, most of these posters seem as though they are just about boiling over with rage, which to me indicates that they are NOT handling their own lives as wonderfully as they would have OP believe.

Lashing out at random strangers on an anonymous mommy message board is not a healthy way to relieve stress, people.

I don't get anyone boiling over with rage?

Exactly. We're being dismissive and basically saying OP's feelings aren't valid. I realize that is the WORST THING YOU COULD DO TO A MILLENNIAL -- invalidate feelings or whatever -- but it's truth.

I mean… exhibit A? Why are you so mad at millennials? You clearly have some sort of unresolved stress/anger/rage/unhappiness yourself to post something like this.

Everyone pushing back on my previous post is clearly triggered by it. As the saying goes: “The truth hurts. That’s how you know it’s true.”

"The fact that you disagree with me proves that what I said is true." Fascinating logic.

Actually it is a perfectly logical statement. If some random person maligned your character or behavior in some way that you know is 100% untrue, you wouldn’t give the comment a second thought. (Like water off a duck’s back, right?) The fact that the comment makes you so angry and defensive means there’s some truth to it. (Otherwise, why react to it at all, let alone defend yourself or insult the messenger?)

Remember, the first step to solving your problem is admitting that you have a problem! You’re welcome.

NP here - so in this little morality play, if the PP agrees with you, then obviously you are correct. And if she disagrees with you, then she's triggered because your points are obviously accurate. In other words, you have constructed a scenario where you are never incorrect. Heads I win, tails you lose. How very convenient for you.

But I think we all know that isn't the way things work. And please note that I'm not opining on your actual statements, just the "logic," if one wants to stretch that term beyond recognition, that you are using.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are all %&$Woles. While I'm not in this posters shoes, I'm a first generation college student, student loaned mom who moved to dc to do good. No PP, I couldn't call on my parents for help with loans or down payments, so my partner and I pieced together what we could, and we do...ok. We get by but we aren't getting ahead. I'm just glad we aren't buying under these new interest rates.

I also think there's a huge untapped UGH/GRIEF/TRAUMA whatever people are comfortable calling in about parents of young kids during the pandemic. Maybe I should start a new thread or ask some journalist to do an investigative operation, but the untapped marital and work stress of the pandemic on working moms who are the breadwinners has to be a trauma no one has read into (and I don't use trauma lightly).

I can’t agree more. We ourselves were lucky, but I know plenty of otherwise competent people who were incredibly stressed out and still digging out of those holes mentally. It’s no wonder social events have reduced in number.

Oh spare me the dramatics about Covid. That was such a nothingburger.

PP, you have multiple kids in daycare when they shut down for six months?

OP, I am two years older than you and never had an opportunity to buy a house so you were lucky! It also sounds like you didn't experience trouble having children or any major health issues for you or your kids. You are lucky. Please look at it from that perspective. Then try to evaluate your relationship on its own merits without the noise.

Oh no, taking care of your own children was so traumatizing.

Spare me.

Jesus, you ignorant people.

Taking care of your own children who are just learning to walk while you have a stressful job at a government agency dealing with the pandemic?

Shit happens. You deal. This was nothing compared to the actual traumas facing older generations. Nothing. NOTHING.

+1. My dad went hungry a lot as a kid. Please, OP, get a grip.

Seriously. My boomer dad had a dirt floor and no electricity on their farm, that my grandparents scratched out of the earth during the Depression. Then he was drafted for Vietnam. I grew up poor too but worked my way through college and made it to the middle class as a Gen-X-er but barely and it was damn hard.

But we all STILL had it better than every generation before them in human history.

Yes, Millennials and Gen-Z have problems too, not the least of which is their complete lack of knowledge of history, apparently.

Another GenX here and I agree with everything the PP said. We had our own struggles and complications but I have no doubt our lives were easier than our parents. And my own kids who are teenagers have advantages I could never have dreamed of. Self-pity is pointless and corrosive. Do your best, work hard, change what makes you unhappy instead of spinning some narrative that the world is against you.

I think this is where an understanding of human history is useful, or even an understanding of the last 200 years or so of American history.

Yes, white Americans had a period of unprecedented prosperity in the mid 20th century. There were a raft of government programs that were undertaken to lift up the entire (white) population, from the GI Bill, to highways projects, to the entire project of building out the suburbs and making sure people could afford to buy homes.

But not only were those gains unavailable to non-white Americans (look it up), but they were also pretty temporary. By the time we got around to extending all of those social welfare programs to Black and brown Americans, they were suddenly too expensive to continue funding.

It's absolutely true that Millennials as a group have a steeper road to climb to middle class prosperity than their parents, but their definition of "middle class" is also a heck of a lot more expensive. Because they themselves grew up in 3500 square foot McMansions in highly segregated suburbs, they think that's what middle class looks like and spurn integrated close-in neighborhoods that actually much more closely resemble what middle class looked like before the massive wealth transfers of the New Deal to white Americans.

Millennials don’t have a “steeper road to climb to middle class prosperity.” Most of them were born INTO it. But they lack the self-awareness to realize it. That’s what people mean when they talk about it being such an entitled generation. Yes, their Boomer parents provided that, but their starting baseline in life is so much better than any other generation in history.

They also stand inherit $72 trillion in The Great Wealth Transfer. But, they still want a trophy. I'm GenX OP, so you can have mine. Oh wait, I didn't get one.

Won’t our boomer parents blow it all on end of life care since people live to 90 now?

Man it's so unfair my parents want to live a long time and get medical care when they age. I want their money. I am ENTITLED to their money!

Their money that they earned from their easy, steady jobs where they were promoted just for showing up and breathing? Often with a fat pension? That they earned from the appreciation that got on their incredibly affordable family home? And maybe even second home that was also, wait for it, affordable?

Yes. Let's assume that's all true. In that case, do you think it's unfair that Boomer parents "want to live a long time and get medical care when they age?" Do you think they should forego medical care to pass along an inheritance? Cut their life short to leave their kids something?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think the replies in this thread sound closer to OP’s tone than the posters realize or intend. The vast majority of the posters here castigating OP for her whininess and self-absorption sound equally whiny and self-absorbed (you think YOU have it bad? Well let me tell you about ME! YOUR life is easy!).

Additionally, most of these posters seem as though they are just about boiling over with rage, which to me indicates that they are NOT handling their own lives as wonderfully as they would have OP believe.

Lashing out at random strangers on an anonymous mommy message board is not a healthy way to relieve stress, people.

I don't get anyone boiling over with rage?

Exactly. We're being dismissive and basically saying OP's feelings aren't valid. I realize that is the WORST THING YOU COULD DO TO A MILLENNIAL -- invalidate feelings or whatever -- but it's truth.

I mean… exhibit A? Why are you so mad at millennials? You clearly have some sort of unresolved stress/anger/rage/unhappiness yourself to post something like this.

Everyone pushing back on my previous post is clearly triggered by it. As the saying goes: “The truth hurts. That’s how you know it’s true.”

"The fact that you disagree with me proves that what I said is true." Fascinating logic.

Actually it is a perfectly logical statement. If some random person maligned your character or behavior in some way that you know is 100% untrue, you wouldn’t give the comment a second thought. (Like water off a duck’s back, right?) The fact that the comment makes you so angry and defensive means there’s some truth to it. (Otherwise, why react to it at all, let alone defend yourself or insult the messenger?)

Remember, the first step to solving your problem is admitting that you have a problem! You’re welcome.

NP here - so in this little morality play, if the PP agrees with you, then obviously you are correct. And if she disagrees with you, then she's triggered because your points are obviously accurate. In other words, you have constructed a scenario where you are never incorrect. Heads I win, tails you lose. How very convenient for you.

But I think we all know that isn't the way things work. And please note that I'm not opining on your actual statements, just the "logic," if one wants to stretch that term beyond recognition, that you are using.

Hey listen - there are lots of people who read my initial statement who disagreed with it and they’re not wrong. But they’re not the ones raging at me. I’m sorry that you don’t like or approve of reality, but in this particular instance I am correct and the PP’s increasingly angry and defensive responses do indeed prove it.

(And because you and PP both seem fairly dim, that means my initial statement was correct about PP and she proved it by reacting so strongly and angrily to it. The many other folks who disagree and for whom my initial statement does not apply ignored it, although I assume they are getting irritated by this absurd side conversation in which PP and you think (metaphorically) screaming I’M NOT MAD means that you’re not mad…. And this is not a scenario I have constructed, this is pretty foundational stuff in human psychology. You both need a refresher course in logic 101.)