Is divorce my final ruin? (Millennial edition)

[Anonymous]

Yes, Divorce is the single worst financial decision you can make.
You get half the assets, and going forward pay twice the expenses (2homes and all related bills).
So basically your net worth can be cut by up to 75%.

Go to marriage counseling immediately and try to rekindle love and respect for each other. There was a reason you got married. Get back to that, and realize marriage is not about romantic love, but commitment, compromise and shared goals.

There is a big reason prior generations had the phrase about spending money on a spouse's wants that it's "Cheaper than Divorce"!

[Anonymous]

I’m a millennial and I don’t know of ANYBODY who was fed the dream of “marry by mid-20s, 3 kids by 30”. That’s like the exact polar opposite of what my generation was taught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No judgment please, so step aside Gen X.

Elder millennial here who was sold (literally) the American dream. You have no other choice but to go to college and you will take out exorbitant loans. Marry in the Midwest by mid-20s. 3 kids by early 30s. On the back of highly taxed retirement withdrawal, somehow put a down payment on a decent home and now house and student loan poor. No chance for college savings for kids.

Add unhappy in marriage, blaming one another for ending up in *this* place. From coming to age in the era of 9/11, graduating college in an economic recession, attempting hope in Obama era to be shattered with Trump. Trying to raise a young family and being slammed with a pandemic. Everything has been terrible, silver lining coming only in the love I have for my kids. Dark cloud over everything post-Nintendo in the basement with my siblings - 1995.

Will a divorce be the final straw? Are elder millennials f**ked forever or am I the special kind that was hit with it all?

You sound clinically depressed and might benefit from therapy and medicine. I mean that kindly.

Don’t go down the “our generation had it so tough.” Gen X and Boomers lived every day with the threat of global nuclear annihilation. The Greatest Generation survived a Great Depression and two world wars. The things you’ve had to deal in your life are nothing.

Stop blaming others for your unhappiness. If you do, you WILL end up divorced and this will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

threat of global nuclear annihilation? really?

Yes. Absolutely. I knew the location of every fallout shelter in town. Watched "The Day After" when it was broadcast. The threat of mutual destruction was omnipresent and real until about 1989, even even then with the fall of the Iron Curtain there were concerns about the security of Russian nukes.

[Anonymous]

Not sure why you HAD to get married and have three children in your twenties. I'm also a Millennial, and most of my peers are waiting until their thirties to start a family. Not saying there's anything wrong with your specific choices, but they were YOUR CHOICES and had nothing to do with being a Millennial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No judgment please, so step aside Gen X.

Elder millennial here who was sold (literally) the American dream. You have no other choice but to go to college and you will take out exorbitant loans. Marry in the Midwest by mid-20s. 3 kids by early 30s. On the back of highly taxed retirement withdrawal, somehow put a down payment on a decent home and now house and student loan poor. No chance for college savings for kids.

Add unhappy in marriage, blaming one another for ending up in *this* place. From coming to age in the era of 9/11, graduating college in an economic recession, attempting hope in Obama era to be shattered with Trump. Trying to raise a young family and being slammed with a pandemic. Everything has been terrible, silver lining coming only in the love I have for my kids. Dark cloud over everything post-Nintendo in the basement with my siblings - 1995.

Will a divorce be the final straw? Are elder millennials f**ked forever or am I the special kind that was hit with it all?

This is the most whiny millenial thing I have ever read. Come back after you have lost a parent or two, some friends and maybe a spouse. Do you think Gen Xers are living in a Barbie dream world without a bad economy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No judgment please, so step aside Gen X.

Elder millennial here who was sold (literally) the American dream. You have no other choice but to go to college and you will take out exorbitant loans. Marry in the Midwest by mid-20s. 3 kids by early 30s. On the back of highly taxed retirement withdrawal, somehow put a down payment on a decent home and now house and student loan poor. No chance for college savings for kids.

Add unhappy in marriage, blaming one another for ending up in *this* place. From coming to age in the era of 9/11, graduating college in an economic recession, attempting hope in Obama era to be shattered with Trump. Trying to raise a young family and being slammed with a pandemic. Everything has been terrible, silver lining coming only in the love I have for my kids. Dark cloud over everything post-Nintendo in the basement with my siblings - 1995.

Will a divorce be the final straw? Are elder millennials f**ked forever or am I the special kind that was hit with it all?

You sound clinically depressed and might benefit from therapy and medicine. I mean that kindly.

Don’t go down the “our generation had it so tough.” Gen X and Boomers lived every day with the threat of global nuclear annihilation. The Greatest Generation survived a Great Depression and two world wars. The things you’ve had to deal in your life are nothing.

Stop blaming others for your unhappiness. If you do, you WILL end up divorced and this will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

threat of global nuclear annihilation? really?

Yes. Absolutely. I knew the location of every fallout shelter in town. Watched "The Day After" when it was broadcast. The threat of mutual destruction was omnipresent and real until about 1989, even even then with the fall of the Iron Curtain there were concerns about the security of Russian nukes.

So similar to how kids today know every exit in school to get away from a potential school shooter, have quarterly drills to practice, etc? The closest weve been to another nuclear fallout since Cold War was last year so you arent the only generation to experience it.

[Anonymous]

LOL, would you rather have been born in 1900 only to come of age for both world wars, the great depression, and countless other atrocities not to mention the general horrible state of health and life for women?

[Anonymous]

Ah yes, it's terrible being a healthy rich white woman with a healthy family and a house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No judgment please, so step aside Gen X.

Elder millennial here who was sold (literally) the American dream. You have no other choice but to go to college and you will take out exorbitant loans. Marry in the Midwest by mid-20s. 3 kids by early 30s. On the back of highly taxed retirement withdrawal, somehow put a down payment on a decent home and now house and student loan poor. No chance for college savings for kids.

Add unhappy in marriage, blaming one another for ending up in *this* place. From coming to age in the era of 9/11, graduating college in an economic recession, attempting hope in Obama era to be shattered with Trump. Trying to raise a young family and being slammed with a pandemic. Everything has been terrible, silver lining coming only in the love I have for my kids. Dark cloud over everything post-Nintendo in the basement with my siblings - 1995.

Will a divorce be the final straw? Are elder millennials f**ked forever or am I the special kind that was hit with it all?

You sound clinically depressed and might benefit from therapy and medicine. I mean that kindly.

Don’t go down the “our generation had it so tough.” Gen X and Boomers lived every day with the threat of global nuclear annihilation. The Greatest Generation survived a Great Depression and two world wars. The things you’ve had to deal in your life are nothing.

Stop blaming others for your unhappiness. If you do, you WILL end up divorced and this will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

threat of global nuclear annihilation? really?

Yes. Absolutely. I knew the location of every fallout shelter in town. Watched "The Day After" when it was broadcast. The threat of mutual destruction was omnipresent and real until about 1989, even even then with the fall of the Iron Curtain there were concerns about the security of Russian nukes.

So similar to how kids today know every exit in school to get away from a potential school shooter, have quarterly drills to practice, etc? The closest weve been to another nuclear fallout since Cold War was last year so you arent the only generation to experience it.

No one said kids today don't have even more pressing existential threats. But yes, gen x kids grew up believing that any minute now, Russia was going to nuke us. The fact people find this so unbelievable does suggest, I think, that we are the last generation in a while for this to have been the thing that kept us up at night.

This doesn't have to be a battle of the generations. We can acknowledge that every generation had some things harder and some things easier. Including, yes, millennials.

[Anonymous]

It’s all up to you OP, your future is in your hands.

A lot of these PPs are quite harsh. If you feel your outlook is bleak and there’s no way out, that’s a sign of depressive thinking. People who are depressed think the 3 Ps - the way things are are Permanent, Pervasive and Personal. I recommend that you get into therapy (not a stigma! I go and love it!) and read Plan B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant. Good luck. Things can definitely get better but you’ll have to deeply examine your limiting beliefs and change them, and that takes hard work over time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No judgment please, so step aside Gen X.

Elder millennial here who was sold (literally) the American dream. You have no other choice but to go to college and you will take out exorbitant loans. Marry in the Midwest by mid-20s. 3 kids by early 30s. On the back of highly taxed retirement withdrawal, somehow put a down payment on a decent home and now house and student loan poor. No chance for college savings for kids.

Add unhappy in marriage, blaming one another for ending up in *this* place. From coming to age in the era of 9/11, graduating college in an economic recession, attempting hope in Obama era to be shattered with Trump. Trying to raise a young family and being slammed with a pandemic. Everything has been terrible, silver lining coming only in the love I have for my kids. Dark cloud over everything post-Nintendo in the basement with my siblings - 1995.

Will a divorce be the final straw? Are elder millennials f**ked forever or am I the special kind that was hit with it all?

Gen X here. So didn't need to read beyond this ageist nonsense of a first sentence to start judging.

[Anonymous]

Basically since watching my peers go off to fight after 9-11 my mind has gradually shifted from a mentality of life is usually good/easy with a few blips to get past to realizing that life is in fact a series of hardships and it’s those good moments in between that you have to savor.

I hate to break it to you, but this is what happens to almost everyone as they grow up.

[Anonymous]

I love being Gen X.

That is all.

[Anonymous]

You made a lot of bad choices - most of which have nothing to do with your generation. I'm an older millennial and have none of these problems. I went to a college my parents could afford and graduated with no loans. Then I took out modest loans for grad school. Met my spouse in grad school. (They're technically the youngest Gen-x age but they also went to schools they could afford and had very modest loans post grad school.) We waited till late 20s to get married. Then waited a few years in our early 30s to have our one (by choice) kid. Our loans were paid off before we had kids and we owned our home. We have good paying jobs that are family friendly and we have no problem affording our small and happy family.

[Anonymous]

older millennial here. you are the classic victim of the victimhood mentality that seems to dominate millennial thinking.