Recurring characters of DCUM, as written by a DCUM veteran

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised this thread is 8 pages in and no one has mentioned the "we are an international family" poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Citation demanding poster

We are legion. Don’t make stuff up.

[Anonymous]

Lady who mocks her LMC midwestern inlaws because they sent their kids to public school and 2 of the nieces & nephews dropped out of college. Posts a lot about how the ILs didn’t save for college & how they refused to let her pay for nieces & nephews to go to private school (with strings attached of course). Is scared of her own kids being influenced by their trashy cousins.

[Anonymous]

Is this sandwich low class?? Is this car low class? Is this dog breed low class? Is this baby name low class? Is this nail color low class? Is this anxiety medication low class??

[Anonymous]

Rutgers aunt

[Anonymous]

The lady who links to www.lesshighschoolstress.com in every one of her posts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoever keeps doing 💯 in response to every post

“Hmm…”

💯

Hmmmmmmmm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Burger King Lady

I spend way too much time on DCUM. How do I not know this lady?

DP. BK Lady is my favorite, but she hasn't been seen around these parts lately. Plans and serves lovely and abundant meals in her lovely home, but only once a day. If you're a houseguest and get hungry at some point between the 2PM Thanksgiving dinner and lunch the next day, you may waddle on down to the Burger King and/or gas station for a chili cheese dog double bacon cheeseburger, or you may help yourself to a beautiful, healthy piece of fruit from the fruit bowl and eat it OUTSIDE. You may not enter her pristine kitchen and make yourself a snack lest you get fingerprints on her stainless steel appliances or drop crumbs that will attract ants.

[Anonymous]

Women who are single in 30's/40's, tired of dating and want to hit marriage jackpot.
Women who hit the said jackpot but want divorce and date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Citation demanding poster

The person who makes up random crap.

Not trolling - what are some of the things they say/have made up?

97.3% of posts are fiction

Imho only half are fiction, other half are made to semi- fictional to manage anonymity.

[Anonymous]

- lady who thinks anyone who marries before age 26 is a dropout teen mom. They couldn't possibly have enough brain development for marriage.

- person who calls everyone on the job forum a dinosaur or boomer when someone disagrees with them

- lady who has been ranting in the beauty forum and telling everyone their recommendations are ugly or for 80 year olds

[Anonymous]

Because I'm a DCUM Veteran, I remember -

The person who responded to every thread about cats with, "I hate cats." This was before we had a pet forum. So maybe that has helped cycle out that response.

The person in the relationship forum who responds to soulmate threads with, "Your neighbor is your soulmate."

I enjoy both of those responses. Always right on queue.

[Anonymous]

"Cheap fixtures" person on every SINGLE real estate post

[Anonymous]

Poster who thinks no one under 30 should commit or marry as their prefrontal cortex isn't developed yet feels fine about them moving abroad for college, having rando sex, drinking, taking loans, driving, getting gender change surgery, joining military, voting, running for office etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m hurt that nobody mentioned me. I’m the poster who writes long winded posts about whatever topic I’m weighing in on. This is because I’m smarter than 95% of you and want to offer you the opportunity to be enlightened. 😉

Excuse me but there are more than one of us. In this post I will explain how the anonymity of DCUM gives people who feel silenced in their daily lives an opportunity to word vomit their alarmingly well researched and articulated opinions on marriage, child rearing, and whether capri pants are "tacky" or not...