Recurring characters of DCUM, as written by a DCUM veteran

[Anonymous]

Indian American haters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Norma Kamali poster in Beauty & Fashion. I love her. Someone will post a thread titled "I need something conservative and understated to wear to my DIL's baby shower" and NK poster will suggest a lime green lycra jumpsuit with fur trim and cutouts. At first it was mildly annoying but she's stuck with it and now I look forward to her posts.

The Langley Elementary booster who posts poetic odes to her favorite school.

RIP the DC school lottery Swami, who got chased away by people who were offended by her use of the term "swami." This is why we can't have nice things.

More than one person, but the person/people who will respond to even the mildest criticism of a husband in the Relationship forum with "Divorce him." I don't think it's good advice, but it's reliability is a DCUM staple.

Similarly, the people who will respond to any thread about dead bedrooms, keeping sex alive in a marriage, or sex post 40 or 45 by explaining how they do it like 2-3x a day, in their 60s, no problem. I don't believe them, but their insistence is funny to me.

2-3 time a week is what raises eyebrows on dcum and I think that is normal for healthy couples even in their 60s. I am actually amazed that people stop having sex in their 30s on DCUM. I am not talking about during pregnancy, postpartum. deployment, accident or being ill. Perfectly healthy married people are not having sex. How is it even possible? Isn't easily accessible sex the best part of marriage ?

DP. Try wrapping your head around this fact: People Are Different. I have faith in you. Give it a shot.

No need to do that. I already figured it out - they are sleeping with someone else, just not their own spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bitter divorced dad who responds to any divorce/custody post about how women intentionally make she their ex-husbands aren’t able to parent and only want child support. Notable because he always comes in with capitalized Mom and Dad for the parents even if OP doesn’t specify gender. Also because he will not listen to reason.

+1

[Anonymous]

UVA booster
BASIS booster
Woman wanting to know how to look and smell old money
People posting how they are secret millionaires living in tiny houses and wearing Target clothing
Person trashing anything made in China while using their iPhone to post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poster in the Entertainment forum who takes shows waaaaaaaaaay too seriously and writes incredibly long, self-important analyses of each episode.

Eh I think that women are as into tv shows/movies/pop culture as men are into sports.

This! The poster(s) who start every response with “eh” or “meh”.

[Anonymous]

Northeastern booster

[Anonymous]

I’m hurt that nobody mentioned me. I’m the poster who writes long winded posts about whatever topic I’m weighing in on. This is because I’m smarter than 95% of you and want to offer you the opportunity to be enlightened. 😉

[Anonymous]

DC Public Schools forum though some have moved on:

- Heritage Mom
- Janney mom with a crush on a dad at her school
- many people who wandered into topics they know nothing. about only to say “I just clicked on this from recent topics”
- Vegetable Lasagna
- Martin Astermuhle

[Anonymous]

-Carpetbaggers from parts of the country (but not “flyovers”) that don’t have equivalent website but need advice from sophisticated DCUMs

-Why is this house listed so low posters?

-Etiquette questions that end up getting crucified by page 2

[Anonymous]

Trope lady

[Anonymous]

Phalanx of posters who advance anytime someone who makes over $200K complains about a financial situation, they chime in with “I’m managing to save for retirement and send 2 kids to college on minimum wage” likely bc they have houses they bought 20 years ago.

[Anonymous]

The clueless wife whose DH is on “business travel” 3 weekends/month

[Anonymous]

The poster(s) who try to turn every thread into "it's because of racism, right?"

[Anonymous]

There used to be a poster on here who proudly proclaimed that her 16 yo DD was emancipated from her and lived in an apt by herself. She’d post asking whether 18 yo high schoolers are allowed to sign themselves out.

[Anonymous]

The basher of the same five colleges.