Marriage is transactional — is this normal?

[Anonymous]

hard to imagine a wife that is into pegging. usually it is the man that begs for his wife to peg him.

[Anonymous]

I never call troll on these threads, but I am sorry.

A delightful weekend in the country in exchange for an evening of pegging?

I understand that economists are interested in finding the bliss point, but this is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:hard to imagine a wife that is into pegging. usually it is the man that begs for his wife to peg him.

Had to google it. Kinda sorry I did.

But man oh man is there a ton of info on this!!

Power dynamic reversal seems to be what attracts so many women to want to do this.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP, is your DH more experienced in relationships? Older or younger?

Yes, 4 yrs older; second marriage for spouse (who said spouse is a DH?).

Well, no man cares about a weekend at a country inn, so you are definitely a woman.

Ha, right. OP, sounds like you have some self esteem/self worth issues. You got married to the first guy you have had a relationship with...and he's been married already once. Trouble.

OP again. I am a man.

Well, now we all want to know what the uncomfortable sex thing is.

OP again. Really did not want to go there but if I must ... she calls it pegging.

I call troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is your DH more experienced in relationships? Older or younger?

Yes, 4 yrs older; second marriage for spouse (who said spouse is a DH?).

Well, no man cares about a weekend at a country inn, so you are definitely a woman.

Ha, right. OP, sounds like you have some self esteem/self worth issues. You got married to the first guy you have had a relationship with...and he's been married already once. Trouble.

OP again. I am a man.

Well, now we all want to know what the uncomfortable sex thing is.

OP again. Really did not want to go there but if I must ... she calls it pegging.

I call troll.

NP.

What specifically makes you think that? I am not so sure it’s all fake. Was it that OP is male? Or the “thing” she makes him endure?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you give an example of how this is applied in your intimate relationship?

Not the OP, but why would you want to know this??!

Really now……

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
31 and married only about 6 months, first serious relationship for me. Spouse is very transactional with me on everything. For example, spouse might say “I’ll do the dishes this week but you need to take the car in for the annual checkout.” Loves to say “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” Is thus unusual? Feels odd especially when applied to our intimate relationship.

Unfortunately, it was true in my marriage. Even during post-partum, my XH got upset about all the work he had to do, when I was recovering from my c-section. It was a really painful recovery. He was all about "fairness" when it came to salaries, household work, etc. It was truly exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is your DH more experienced in relationships? Older or younger?

Yes, 4 yrs older; second marriage for spouse (who said spouse is a DH?).

Well, no man cares about a weekend at a country inn, so you are definitely a woman.

Ha, right. OP, sounds like you have some self esteem/self worth issues. You got married to the first guy you have had a relationship with...and he's been married already once. Trouble.

OP again. I am a man.

Well, now we all want to know what the uncomfortable sex thing is.

OP again. Really did not want to go there but if I must ... she calls it pegging.

I call troll.

NP.

What specifically makes you think that? I am not so sure it’s all fake. Was it that OP is male? Or the “thing” she makes him endure?

NP. The scenario doesn't necessarily seem fake (although unusual), but the coy gender obfuscation and the smug corrections when people assumed the "wrong" genders point to OP having a certain agenda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
31 and married only about 6 months, first serious relationship for me. Spouse is very transactional with me on everything. For example, spouse might say “I’ll do the dishes this week but you need to take the car in for the annual checkout.” Loves to say “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” Is thus unusual? Feels odd especially when applied to our intimate relationship.

All long term relations are about give and take, no matter how much or how little love is involved. Love allows two people to not keep scores and do their best to keep life’s seesaw balanced.

[Anonymous]

The whole nature of your marriage seems very business- like and frankly, cold.

But since that is the case, then how successful have you been with negotiating with your wife?

[Anonymous]

My spouse is exactly like this.