Getting shammed for getting engaged at 22
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Anonymous
| I got married at that age and we're now happily married nearly 30 years later. Does that qualify as anecdata? We are both from the Northeast and faced backlash for getting married so young. Some of the naysayers married far later than we did and still divorced (others did just fine). There is no one size fits all approach to major life decisions. |
Anonymous
What you did 30 yrs ago isn’t really relevant. Times are different now and there are different expectations for young people and it is harder to get ahead and be financially independent or wealthy now vs then. |
Anonymous
Almost the same. One couple is still together but they've been non-monogamous from a few years into their marriage since they didn't get to "play the field." Wouldn't work for me, but they seem fine with it. |
Anonymous
The couple in question, however, both seem to have financially stable jobs in tech and therefore seem more ready than the average 22-year-old. It really depends on the maturity of the couple and their life goals. I wouldn’t write these two off based on age. |
Anonymous
30 years ago is the early 90s. No, people haven’t changed. We have iPhones now, that’s all. |
Anonymous
That’s very young—probably still in colege and not financially independent . Not many parents would be happy with that scenario. Glad it worked out for you. |
Anonymous
My daughter can do whatever she wants but I think all of the things you list as part of “discovering yourself” are 1. totally possible to do while married at the least and 2. Not really valuable in becoming a kind, mature person. I got married at 23 and managed to complete law school and have a good career while married and having children. It’s not like being married and having children prevents you from growing and learning about yourself; that just seems like a very immature perspective on life. |
Anonymous
I think dcum would say the winning formula is meeting your future spouse between the ages of 26-29 and getting married between 29-32. Meeting at 19-21 is too early, trying to meet someone after 30 and you have more limited options. |
Anonymous
You raised a reasonable point. It’s fine to get engaged or married at 22 if you are gainfully employed and committed to each other but wise to wait until you have stabilized your career, marriage and finances and had some fun and travels together. |
Anonymous
I'm not talking about that timeline. Someone posted a thread and said she found herself single in her late 20s. Is that too old to date? And the general consensus was, look, you've got until 30, maybe 31 before you're too old. |
Anonymous
Almost the same as well. I guess I know a few couples who are still married, but the vast majority of those early weddings I went to ended in divorce. and the vast majority of those who are still married are all members of very "fundy" traditional Christian denominations or are Orthodox Jews. |
Anonymous
Well, a 23 year old single can be emotionally and financially more stable than a 27 year old so few years add no value here. Divorce or relationship issues aren’t much better for 29-32 year olds so years add limited value. |
Anonymous
| Np. Married at 22, still married at 44. We waited awhile to have kids. I think that helped. |
Anonymous
| My DH’s niece got married to her high school sweetheart two years ago at 22, one year after undergrad. She is working in a pharmaceutical company and he is in medical school. They say it’s the best decision as life is much easier for them with each other’s support than it would be if each was living in separate states and pursuing things individually. They do have supporting upper middle class parents with long term marriages so may be easier for them than an average 22 year old. |
Anonymous
| And they’ve been together since high schools and lived together at college so really trust each other. |