Getting shammed for getting engaged at 22

[Anonymous]

This is happening to my cousin right now. She is marrying her high school sweetheart (the only guy she has dated) in the spring.

Everything was fine and dandy when they were visiting each other at their respective colleges and starting out as young adults. Then the opportunity for grad school for one of them (the male) came up. He is demanding that she move for his schooling (to a remote town with fewer job prospects). Her job is not remote and she is having to start over after a year of working at a large company.

This is an example of how if she waited two more years to get married, she would be able to move up in her career and not have to start all over at an entry level position.

When you are single in your 20s you can make all kinds of decisions and only have to think about yourself: finances, career, travel, etc. This is the path I took so I'm partial, but by not marrying my college sweetheart I built a career I would not have had with him as a husband. My 20s were amazing and made me who I am today, which led to me choosing a much better partner than I would have had at 22.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is happening to my cousin right now. She is marrying her high school sweetheart (the only guy she has dated) in the spring.

Everything was fine and dandy when they were visiting each other at their respective colleges and starting out as young adults. Then the opportunity for grad school for one of them (the male) came up. He is demanding that she move for his schooling (to a remote town with fewer job prospects). Her job is not remote and she is having to start over after a year of working at a large company.

This is an example of how if she waited two more years to get married, she would be able to move up in her career and not have to start all over at an entry level position.

When you are single in your 20s you can make all kinds of decisions and only have to think about yourself: finances, career, travel, etc. This is the path I took so I'm partial, but by not marrying my college sweetheart I built a career I would not have had with him as a husband. My 20s were amazing and made me who I am today, which led to me choosing a much better partner than I would have had at 22.

They aren’t married so if she is doing it, it’s more than likely by choice. She may focus on climbing the ladder once they move back to a big city. In long term, couples do give and take and taking turns to build a shared future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ruth Bader Ginsburg got married at 21.

Times have changed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is happening to my cousin right now. She is marrying her high school sweetheart (the only guy she has dated) in the spring.

Everything was fine and dandy when they were visiting each other at their respective colleges and starting out as young adults. Then the opportunity for grad school for one of them (the male) came up. He is demanding that she move for his schooling (to a remote town with fewer job prospects). Her job is not remote and she is having to start over after a year of working at a large company.

This is an example of how if she waited two more years to get married, she would be able to move up in her career and not have to start all over at an entry level position.

When you are single in your 20s you can make all kinds of decisions and only have to think about yourself: finances, career, travel, etc. This is the path I took so I'm partial, but by not marrying my college sweetheart I built a career I would not have had with him as a husband. My 20s were amazing and made me who I am today, which led to me choosing a much better partner than I would have had at 22.

May be she is happy with her partner and not looking for a better one. It’s a little thing commonly known as love. It may not be a worthy choice in your eyes but it doesn’t make it a lesser choice. You don’t know if in 10 years, which one would regret their decision. Hopefully neither but being condescending won’t improve anybody’s odds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ruth Bader Ginsburg got married at 21.

Times have changed

Human biology, physiology and psychology are still the same. Young people grow old, sex drive weakens, loneliness hurts. Marrying early or late are different but equal choices. One isn’t better or worse than other. Nor does marrying at all or marrying same gender. These are all personal and equal choices. Everybody should do what works for them at whatever time they prefer. People married late in 1822, people can marry early in 2022, no need to follow the herd and no need for herd to judge them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is happening to my cousin right now. She is marrying her high school sweetheart (the only guy she has dated) in the spring.

Everything was fine and dandy when they were visiting each other at their respective colleges and starting out as young adults. Then the opportunity for grad school for one of them (the male) came up. He is demanding that she move for his schooling (to a remote town with fewer job prospects). Her job is not remote and she is having to start over after a year of working at a large company.

This is an example of how if she waited two more years to get married, she would be able to move up in her career and not have to start all over at an entry level position.

When you are single in your 20s you can make all kinds of decisions and only have to think about yourself: finances, career, travel, etc. This is the path I took so I'm partial, but by not marrying my college sweetheart I built a career I would not have had with him as a husband. My 20s were amazing and made me who I am today, which led to me choosing a much better partner than I would have had at 22.

May be she is happy with her partner and not looking for a better one. It’s a little thing commonly known as love. It may not be a worthy choice in your eyes but it doesn’t make it a lesser choice. You don’t know if in 10 years, which one would regret their decision. Hopefully neither but being condescending won’t improve anybody’s odds.

She's 23 and thinks the world is ending like most of us did at that age, thinks if she doesn't marry him it will be over for her. There are red flags all over this situation, and pp should be concerned.

[Anonymous]

Op, Shame on you. Your education must be a sham!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is happening to my cousin right now. She is marrying her high school sweetheart (the only guy she has dated) in the spring.

Everything was fine and dandy when they were visiting each other at their respective colleges and starting out as young adults. Then the opportunity for grad school for one of them (the male) came up. He is demanding that she move for his schooling (to a remote town with fewer job prospects). Her job is not remote and she is having to start over after a year of working at a large company.

This is an example of how if she waited two more years to get married, she would be able to move up in her career and not have to start all over at an entry level position.

When you are single in your 20s you can make all kinds of decisions and only have to think about yourself: finances, career, travel, etc. This is the path I took so I'm partial, but by not marrying my college sweetheart I built a career I would not have had with him as a husband. My 20s were amazing and made me who I am today, which led to me choosing a much better partner than I would have had at 22.

May be she is happy with her partner and not looking for a better one. It’s a little thing commonly known as love. It may not be a worthy choice in your eyes but it doesn’t make it a lesser choice. You don’t know if in 10 years, which one would regret their decision. Hopefully neither but being condescending won’t improve anybody’s odds.

She's 23 and thinks the world is ending like most of us did at that age, thinks if she doesn't marry him it will be over for her. There are red flags all over this situation, and pp should be concerned.

How do we know she is doing it out of desperation? She isn’t old, not pregnant, not a high school drop out, not unemployed. May be they are in love and doesn’t want to live apart for two years and what’s a guarantee they’ll find jobs in same city after that? What if they have different priorities than our poster? What if poster wants others to follow and validate her her choices? Is there a middle ground here?