Getting shammed for getting engaged at 22

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I got engaged right after college, and married at age 25. People definitely thought we were weird, and DHs mom told people AT OUR WEDDING that we were too young to get married.

Fifteen years later we are happily married and are proud we got married “young”. We’ve had friends who were single at our wedding get married and divorced already. I really don’t think being young is intrinsically bad.

Time to stop being so smug bc fifteen years is nothing. I say this as someone who got married a few years earlier than you. It’s been 16 years and we haven’t hit the real tough parts yet.

You sound delightful

Personally, I think it’s great. I know a few couples who were together starting in HS/college and are happily married now (late 30s). I think the notion that you have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your “one” is misguided and just untrue. I would be happy if my children married young. We put the responsibilities of life off too long in this culture and it’s fair to say the 20s are now a sort of extended adolescence, and it’s pathetic.

Pathetic? If someone is working and traveling as a single person how is that pathetic? Personally, I think marrying at 22 and popping out kids is more pathetic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you writing as the “aunt” but are you really a 22 year old fiancé!

I think you are correct and have uncovered a sham by the OP!

The tell is the "big tech company" and the knowing vs dating years. Very defensive. No aunt is this invested so either its a 22 year old or just troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My niece got engaged at 22 to her college boyfriend. They’ve been together since 2 years and known each other for 4 years. He is 22 as well and both are working full time in a big tech company. They feel like they are getting shammed from not only family and friends but even strangers for getting engaged and planning to marry in a year. Is this a thing now like quite shamming of people staying single ir marrying late used to be?

Shammed? They are being given pillow cases?

It's a new thing. Instead of a bachelor/ette party or shower, they are "shammed" by friends and family and given all the household things a new couple needs. Like bedding. You haven't been invited to such a party yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I got engaged right after college, and married at age 25. People definitely thought we were weird, and DHs mom told people AT OUR WEDDING that we were too young to get married.

Fifteen years later we are happily married and are proud we got married “young”. We’ve had friends who were single at our wedding get married and divorced already. I really don’t think being young is intrinsically bad.

Time to stop being so smug bc fifteen years is nothing. I say this as someone who got married a few years earlier than you. It’s been 16 years and we haven’t hit the real tough parts yet.

You sound delightful

Personally, I think it’s great. I know a few couples who were together starting in HS/college and are happily married now (late 30s). I think the notion that you have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your “one” is misguided and just untrue. I would be happy if my children married young. We put the responsibilities of life off too long in this culture and it’s fair to say the 20s are now a sort of extended adolescence, and it’s pathetic.

Pathetic? If someone is working and traveling as a single person how is that pathetic? Personally, I think marrying at 22 and popping out kids is more pathetic

You see participating in the capitalistic system and tRaVeLiNg as being more valuable than taking the serious and mature steps of marriage and parenthood?

Oh wise one, please do teach me your ways.

[Anonymous]

It’s their business. It’s not like they are truly stuck with it forever. People get divorced all the time.

[Anonymous]

The responses on this thread are cruel. And from (probably) older and “more mature” parents. Shame on you all.

If you can’t actually respond to the question, just move along!

[Anonymous]

I got married at 23 and had my first at 25, while in grad school.

A few of my friends married at that age as well, so it didn't seem strange until I came to the DC area and kept getting strange looks from people, and then realized that other mothers at the preschool were not in the same age bracket. I still made friends, though.

It's all about your outlook and being adaptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I got engaged right after college, and married at age 25. People definitely thought we were weird, and DHs mom told people AT OUR WEDDING that we were too young to get married.

Fifteen years later we are happily married and are proud we got married “young”. We’ve had friends who were single at our wedding get married and divorced already. I really don’t think being young is intrinsically bad.

Time to stop being so smug bc fifteen years is nothing. I say this as someone who got married a few years earlier than you. It’s been 16 years and we haven’t hit the real tough parts yet.

You sound delightful

Personally, I think it’s great. I know a few couples who were together starting in HS/college and are happily married now (late 30s). I think the notion that you have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your “one” is misguided and just untrue. I would be happy if my children married young. We put the responsibilities of life off too long in this culture and it’s fair to say the 20s are now a sort of extended adolescence, and it’s pathetic.

And you sound like a fool. Where did I say dating multiple ppl to find “the one” is good?

It’s common sense that post 40 is when ppl have more serious stressors in their life like health issues, aged and dying parents, etc that strain the marriage. It’s arrogant to act like your marriage is so perfect compared to others when you’re not that old yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they are worried about people SHAMING them or using phrases such as " YOu'RE SHAMING US!" They aren't mature enough to be married.

In this day and age the vas majority of 22 year olds aren't mature enough to be married, and no dating someone for 2 years is not a reason to get married.


I would strongly advise against anyone getting married before 27/28.

That said if my niece or anyone else wanted to get married at 22/23, I'd bite my tongue and wish them well. They would only hear anything from me is if I were to bring up legitimate concerns, and as I write this I wonder if what they consider shaming is actually people bringing up legitimate concerns.

Your role, auntie is to be supportive and if there are legitimate concerns, such as maybe the relationship is toxic in some aspects address those.

It sounds like they make good money if they work in tech. They’ve been dating for two years. I’m finding a hard time figuring out what an objective concern would be beyond the shrill “your brains aren’t developed enough!” If someone said that to me I’d be tempted to reply, “well, my brain is developed enough to get hired at higher paying job than you…”

Parents need to let go and accept their babies are adults now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses on this thread are cruel. And from (probably) older and “more mature” parents. Shame on you all.

If you can’t actually respond to the question, just move along!

Oh my! I’ve been shammed by this poster. 😬

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses on this thread are cruel. And from (probably) older and “more mature” parents. Shame on you all.

If you can’t actually respond to the question, just move along!

Oh my! I’ve been shammed by this poster. 😬

Haha, sham on you.

[Anonymous]

Divorce rates are high for people who marry young. One's twenties are such a great time to travel and explore and try new things, it does seem a bit of a sham to settle down to married life so young. But YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I got engaged right after college, and married at age 25. People definitely thought we were weird, and DHs mom told people AT OUR WEDDING that we were too young to get married.

Fifteen years later we are happily married and are proud we got married “young”. We’ve had friends who were single at our wedding get married and divorced already. I really don’t think being young is intrinsically bad.

Time to stop being so smug bc fifteen years is nothing. I say this as someone who got married a few years earlier than you. It’s been 16 years and we haven’t hit the real tough parts yet.

You sound delightful

Personally, I think it’s great. I know a few couples who were together starting in HS/college and are happily married now (late 30s). I think the notion that you have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your “one” is misguided and just untrue. I would be happy if my children married young. We put the responsibilities of life off too long in this culture and it’s fair to say the 20s are now a sort of extended adolescence, and it’s pathetic.

And you sound like a fool. Where did I say dating multiple ppl to find “the one” is good?

It’s common sense that post 40 is when ppl have more serious stressors in their life like health issues, aged and dying parents, etc that strain the marriage. It’s arrogant to act like your marriage is so perfect compared to others when you’re not that old yet.

You’re missing the point. They were comparing themselves to their same aged peers. They’ve seen people who were single at their wedding, get married later in life and get divorced. Meanwhile they’re still going strong.

You’re projecting your own issues onto the situation you can’t even comprehend simple sentences.

[Anonymous]

They are probably getting shammed. They are just too young to know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses on this thread are cruel. And from (probably) older and “more mature” parents. Shame on you all.

If you can’t actually respond to the question, just move along!

Oh my! I’ve been shammed by this poster. 😬

Haha, sham on you.

Don’t you need to update your Facebook status, gramps?