Getting shammed for getting engaged at 22
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Anonymous
| My niece got engaged at 22 to her college boyfriend. They’ve been together since 2 years and known each other for 4 years. He is 22 as well and both are working full time in a big tech company. They feel like they are getting shammed from not only family and friends but even strangers for getting engaged and planning to marry in a year. Is this a thing now like quite shamming of people staying single ir marrying late used to be? |
Anonymous
| The word you are looking for is “shaming.” |
Anonymous
| Their brains haven’t even finished developing yet. I would not support my adult kids getting married or engaged before 25. |
Anonymous
Land that helicopter mama! |
Anonymous
| There’s a pretty significant drop off in divorces once the wife is 25 at the time of marriage. So that’s what I would hope my kids did. And I did get married in my mid 20s myself. |
Anonymous
This. Land the chopper already. |
Anonymous
|
If they are worried about people SHAMING them or using phrases such as " YOu'RE SHAMING US!" They aren't mature enough to be married.
In this day and age the vas majority of 22 year olds aren't mature enough to be married, and no dating someone for 2 years is not a reason to get married. I would strongly advise against anyone getting married before 27/28. That said if my niece or anyone else wanted to get married at 22/23, I'd bite my tongue and wish them well. They would only hear anything from me is if I were to bring up legitimate concerns, and as I write this I wonder if what they consider shaming is actually people bringing up legitimate concerns. Your role, auntie is to be supportive and if there are legitimate concerns, such as maybe the relationship is toxic in some aspects address those. |
Anonymous
Shammed? They are being given pillow cases? |
Anonymous
|
DH and I got engaged right after college, and married at age 25. People definitely thought we were weird, and DHs mom told people AT OUR WEDDING that we were too young to get married.
Fifteen years later we are happily married and are proud we got married “young”. We’ve had friends who were single at our wedding get married and divorced already. I really don’t think being young is intrinsically bad. |
Anonymous
 Time to stop being so smug bc fifteen years is nothing. I say this as someone who got married a few years earlier than you. It’s been 16 years and we haven’t hit the real tough parts yet.
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Anonymous
| Are you writing as the “aunt” but are you really a 22 year old fiancé! |
Anonymous
I think you are correct and have uncovered a sham by the OP! |
Anonymous
You sound delightful
Personally, I think it’s great. I know a few couples who were together starting in HS/college and are happily married now (late 30s). I think the notion that you have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your “one” is misguided and just untrue. I would be happy if my children married young. We put the responsibilities of life off too long in this culture and it’s fair to say the 20s are now a sort of extended adolescence, and it’s pathetic. |
Anonymous
+1 Interestingly, I envision the kind of person who gets married at 22 as the kind of person who can’t spell common, simple words like “shamed.” |
Anonymous
Land that cliche! It is ok to tell your kids that you wouldn't recommend getting married so early. This is the first person they have dated seriously. Why wait and live life as a single person before getting married? Your 20's are supposed to be for learning how to be independent and I think that it is ok to encourage waiting a few years. |