Christmas travel-leaving 2 year old home while whole family goes to Caribbean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not leave your 2yo home alone for a week for christmas! Holy crap, that is awful. He won’t know it’s Christmas, but the 5yo does and I can only imagine the number of times it will come up over the years that his parents left him alone for Christmas to go on vacation. If there were extenuating circumstances, like visiting a dying parent or sibling, I could see leaving him in an emergency.

If I were you, I’d cancel the whole trip. Maybe plan something for the spring when he will be older and maybe able to wear a mask better.

Op here. The trip is largely non-refundable and we won’t have money or leave time for another trip until next Christmas. This is our one shot at a vacation this year.

Due to his developmental challenges, it is unlikely he will be compliant with a mask by spring regardless. We will have to plan on car trips for the next several years I think.

He wouldn’t be alone-this nanny has been in his life literally since the day he was born-she was with us at the hospital.

Op, it sounds like you want to go. So just go. My parents left my 2 year old sister for 3 weeks to take me and my brother to Europe when we were teens (big age gap). Everyone was fine and no one mentions it as abandonment!

Did your sister have known special medical needs?

Yes, but not life threatening ones. We actually went the year she was diagnosed as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s awful and I have no advice but condolences. Going to point out that these rules are insane…utterly insane. No other country in the world is forcing 2 year olds to wear masks. This is why Biden has dismal approval ratings. He doesn’t give a f*** about real world implications on families.

I agree generally but this child is SN so he will have trouble with masks regardless of age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. This doesn’t sound awful to me, OP. Maybe I’m heartless, too. The 2 year old doesn’t know it’s Christmas, the nanny is qualified, the chances of something extreme happening are so remote. Celebrate family Christmas before or after your trip.

What is heartless is not wanting to spend Christmas together as a family.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all the responses but there's no doubt that I'd leave DS2 with the nanny (who is being well compensated and has other trusted adults around to pitch in if needed) and take the vacation. Celebrate Christmas before, do something special with DS2 when you get back, but honestly, he's not going to remember and you need to look out for your own wellbeing, as well as that of the other members of the family.

[Anonymous]

If my kid was that hard to travel with, I would take the nanny with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. So many comments. Thanks for the replies.

Not sure what to clarify at this point that I haven’t already said.

My hesitation in leaving him is primarily because it’s a long time to be away from him and I am unsure how I will do with it and how he will do with it. I worry I worry 2 yo will really struggle without his brother. I could see it all being fine though-I’ll miss him for sure and feel guilty for sure. Those things go without saying. I don’t see them as reasons not to go.

DH and my mom have no reservations about this plan and we formulated it together. DH is insisting on it. Any scenario in which anyone suffers lifelong emotional impact from this decision seems so remote that I am not concerned about it.

My sons condition is permanent and incurable. He has had seizures with our nanny. She was a nurse in her home country and has been with us at many of the medical appointments. We take seizure meds and have rescue meds for prolonged seizures, if he had to go to the hospital it would be better he be in our home city with the medical team we have here. He’s been seizure free for nearly 3 months though and it’s very unlikely that anything catastrophic will happen.

Your 5 yo deserves more than being someone his brother looks up to. He deserves a normal vacation and time with his parents.
Masks aren’t going anywhere, not in the current climate, not until 2023 or so.

I'm sure the 5 year old would prefer to have Christmas with his brother. Let's be real here, the Caribbean is for the parents.

[Anonymous]

I admit I only skimmed, so maybe this was suggested. Why don't you go with the older kid and your mom, and DH can stay home with younger kid?

[Anonymous]

Start practicing wearing masks daily and up the time each day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. This doesn’t sound awful to me, OP. Maybe I’m heartless, too. The 2 year old doesn’t know it’s Christmas, the nanny is qualified, the chances of something extreme happening are so remote. Celebrate family Christmas before or after your trip.

What is heartless is not wanting to spend Christmas together as a family.

Not everyone thinks Christmas is all that important. I don’t see why you have to celebrate Christmas on 12/25 exactly unless there are kids super excited for that day (not a 2 year old). What does it matter if they do it the week before or the week after?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way in hell. This could really cause a lot of problems in your family: guilt, abandonment, envy. How could you enjoy being on a beach at Christmas with your husband and child when your toddler is thousands of miles away in a different country for an entire week? And what if one of you pops positive for covid and you are stuck in quarantine for weeks abroad?

My understanding is that other countries most of the time provide the results that don’t inconvenience travelers

Frigging ridiculous and one of the reasons the pandemic will never end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. So many comments. Thanks for the replies.

Not sure what to clarify at this point that I haven’t already said.

My hesitation in leaving him is primarily because it’s a long time to be away from him and I am unsure how I will do with it and how he will do with it. I worry I worry 2 yo will really struggle without his brother. I could see it all being fine though-I’ll miss him for sure and feel guilty for sure. Those things go without saying. I don’t see them as reasons not to go.

DH and my mom have no reservations about this plan and we formulated it together. DH is insisting on it. Any scenario in which anyone suffers lifelong emotional impact from this decision seems so remote that I am not concerned about it.

My sons condition is permanent and incurable. He has had seizures with our nanny. She was a nurse in her home country and has been with us at many of the medical appointments. We take seizure meds and have rescue meds for prolonged seizures, if he had to go to the hospital it would be better he be in our home city with the medical team we have here. He’s been seizure free for nearly 3 months though and it’s very unlikely that anything catastrophic will happen.

So you have it all figured out. OK. So if there’s only one correct answer, why post the question? For validation from strangers on the internet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would cancel or take my kid. I don’t think flying is that big of a deal re: masks. Just give kid snacks the whole time and no one enforces the mask westing

This is 100% wrong advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s awful and I have no advice but condolences. Going to point out that these rules are insane…utterly insane. No other country in the world is forcing 2 year olds to wear masks. This is why Biden has dismal approval ratings. He doesn’t give a f*** about real world implications on families.

Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I’m some kind of helicopter parent or something because it would never even occur to me to leave my 2 year old out of a week long family vacation. Like what even is this question? Of course you should not do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I’m some kind of helicopter parent or something because it would never even occur to me to leave my 2 year old out of a week long family vacation. Like what even is this question? Of course you should not do that.

There was a post a year or two ago where Op wanted to leave her 2 yr old with (semi)hands-on grandparents while she and her older kids could more easily travel and enjoy a trip back to her country or vacation or beach or something of the sort. She didn't want to be bogged down with the nap schedules, feeling limited, doing activities with the older kids, etc.