Christmas travel-leaving 2 year old home while whole family goes to Caribbean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. So many comments. Thanks for the replies.

Not sure what to clarify at this point that I haven’t already said.

My hesitation in leaving him is primarily because it’s a long time to be away from him and I am unsure how I will do with it and how he will do with it. I worry I worry 2 yo will really struggle without his brother. I could see it all being fine though-I’ll miss him for sure and feel guilty for sure. Those things go without saying. I don’t see them as reasons not to go.

DH and my mom have no reservations about this plan and we formulated it together. DH is insisting on it. Any scenario in which anyone suffers lifelong emotional impact from this decision seems so remote that I am not concerned about it.

My sons condition is permanent and incurable. He has had seizures with our nanny. She was a nurse in her home country and has been with us at many of the medical appointments. We take seizure meds and have rescue meds for prolonged seizures, if he had to go to the hospital it would be better he be in our home city with the medical team we have here. He’s been seizure free for nearly 3 months though and it’s very unlikely that anything catastrophic will happen.

Your 5 yo deserves more than being someone his brother looks up to. He deserves a normal vacation and time with his parents.
Masks aren’t going anywhere, not in the current climate, not until 2023 or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the actual F op. Say kid is 23.5 months (flight attendants don’t know) and obviously take him or don’t go. I’m sorry this post wins an award for worst parenting worst person ever.

THIS!

OP said earlier that the 2yo is large for his age and looks like a 4 yo.

It's also not going to work because because I've flown both Southwest and JetBlue recently with kids and both of those airlines were asking the parents of young kids for proof of age. The airlines are NOT playing around with the mask rules. I think OP needs to cancel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the actual F op. Say kid is 23.5 months (flight attendants don’t know) and obviously take him or don’t go. I’m sorry this post wins an award for worst parenting worst person ever.

THIS!

OP said earlier that the 2yo is large for his age and looks like a 4 yo.

It's also not going to work because because I've flown both Southwest and JetBlue recently with kids and both of those airlines were asking the parents of young kids for proof of age. The airlines are NOT playing around with the mask rules. I think OP needs to cancel.

+1

Holy crap. Is there a DCUM award for this? If not there should be!

[Anonymous]

What? No. I might leave the kid with a family member. MAYBE. Probably not. Definitely not leaving the kid with the nanny over Christmas. Also, she’s probably only staying in town vs traveling with her family because of you. You realize that, right?

[Anonymous]

I would cancel, OP. For the reasons you outlined, it feels very sad to leave behind your 2 year old for Christmas week. If you need a break and your nanny is willing to work, have her come some days and do special things or even a local overnight with your 5 year old.

[Anonymous]

I can’t fathom leaving a two year old with anyone except possibly grandparents for a week. And that would be because you had to, not because of a vacation.

[Anonymous]

I would cancel or take my kid. I don’t think flying is that big of a deal re: masks. Just give kid snacks the whole time and no one enforces the mask westing

[Anonymous]

Maybe you can stay with the youngest and send the oldest with dad and grandpa?

[Anonymous]

If you go forward, you need at least one backup plan for the nanny, maybe more. What happens if she gets sick or injured or has an emergency? Who can be there to take over? That’s the piece you haven’t mentioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not leave your 2yo home alone for a week for christmas! Holy crap, that is awful. He won’t know it’s Christmas, but the 5yo does and I can only imagine the number of times it will come up over the years that his parents left him alone for Christmas to go on vacation. If there were extenuating circumstances, like visiting a dying parent or sibling, I could see leaving him in an emergency.

If I were you, I’d cancel the whole trip. Maybe plan something for the spring when he will be older and maybe able to wear a mask better.

Op here. The trip is largely non-refundable and we won’t have money or leave time for another trip until next Christmas. This is our one shot at a vacation this year.

Due to his developmental challenges, it is unlikely he will be compliant with a mask by spring regardless. We will have to plan on car trips for the next several years I think.

He wouldn’t be alone-this nanny has been in his life literally since the day he was born-she was with us at the hospital.

Op, it sounds like you want to go. So just go. My parents left my 2 year old sister for 3 weeks to take me and my brother to Europe when we were teens (big age gap). Everyone was fine and no one mentions it as abandonment!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not leave your 2yo home alone for a week for christmas! Holy crap, that is awful. He won’t know it’s Christmas, but the 5yo does and I can only imagine the number of times it will come up over the years that his parents left him alone for Christmas to go on vacation. If there were extenuating circumstances, like visiting a dying parent or sibling, I could see leaving him in an emergency.

If I were you, I’d cancel the whole trip. Maybe plan something for the spring when he will be older and maybe able to wear a mask better.

Op here. The trip is largely non-refundable and we won’t have money or leave time for another trip until next Christmas. This is our one shot at a vacation this year.

Due to his developmental challenges, it is unlikely he will be compliant with a mask by spring regardless. We will have to plan on car trips for the next several years I think.

He wouldn’t be alone-this nanny has been in his life literally since the day he was born-she was with us at the hospital.

Op, it sounds like you want to go. So just go. My parents left my 2 year old sister for 3 weeks to take me and my brother to Europe when we were teens (big age gap). Everyone was fine and no one mentions it as abandonment!

Did your sister have known special medical needs?

[Anonymous]

That’s awful and I have no advice but condolences. Going to point out that these rules are insane…utterly insane. No other country in the world is forcing 2 year olds to wear masks. This is why Biden has dismal approval ratings. He doesn’t give a f*** about real world implications on families.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you want to go and maybe posted here for encouragement to do so? I think you are more likely to get that on the SN board.

I understand it is too late in the game to switch flights for everyone to shorten the trip. What if you just change yours and come back early? Or buy a second one way return ticket for you that you can cancel if it's all going so great that you don't need to go back early?

[Anonymous]

NP. This doesn’t sound awful to me, OP. Maybe I’m heartless, too. The 2 year old doesn’t know it’s Christmas, the nanny is qualified, the chances of something extreme happening are so remote. Celebrate family Christmas before or after your trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you go forward, you need at least one backup plan for the nanny, maybe more. What happens if she gets sick or injured or has an emergency? Who can be there to take over? That’s the piece you haven’t mentioned.

I'm thinking of a scenario where nanny slips on the steps and breaks an ankle. If she's basically okay she can take the kid to the hospital with her. But what about a scenario where she needs surgery? Her family is out of the country, right? You need someone the nanny can contact who will be available to take the child.