Christmas travel-leaving 2 year old home while whole family goes to Caribbean?

[Anonymous]

Back in January 2020 when I stupidly thought everything would be Ok by now, I booked a trip for Christmas week with me, DH, and our two kids (ages 2 and 5), plus my mom.

I am having second thoughts about going because my 2 yo will not wear a mask on the plane. He has special needs (epilepsy and another developmental disorder and a speech delay). He’s also very difficult to take care of and I’m afraid of traveling so far with him (1 hour drive + 4.5 hour plane ride + 2 hour drive).

Our options are to cancel or leave the 2 yo home with our nanny.

My hesitation about leaving him home with nanny is:

1. It’s freaking Christmas week! Though I know my 2 yo does not understand that. It feels heartless leaving him.
2. A week feels like a long time to be gone. We’ve left him before but only for 1-2 nights.
3. The nanny and DS will be on their own. Due to a weird travel logistics issue, the nanny’s family (husband and elementary age kids) will be out of the country that week. Our nanny doesn’t seem to have a ton of friends and I feel sad thinking of them on their own (I’ll leave $$$ for them to do activities and have encouraged her to make plans with friends or family but I think they’ll be alone a lot).
4. 2 yo DS adores and worships 5 yo DS. I feel so bad thinking of DS2 being away from DS5 for a week (though DS5 would love the break from all the screaming/tantrums).

Would you cancel or take him? Please-no tips on teaching him to wear a mask. We have done all the things. We have tried. Not looking for advice on that.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Sorry-cancel or leave him with nanny?

[Anonymous]

Don’t leave the two year old. That seems heartless.

I would call the airline and ask about ADA accommodations for masking. They got a bad rap because of Facebook nonsense but a true special needs child like yours is entitled to use an airplane.

[Anonymous]

You can’t leave him behind
Do they require masks for 2 year olds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t leave the two year old. That seems heartless.

I would call the airline and ask about ADA accommodations for masking. They got a bad rap because of Facebook nonsense but a true special needs child like yours is entitled to use an airplane.

Op here. I tried that. They said he must wear a mask unless eating or drinking for short periods or not to fly with him.

I’m also worried because he is HUGE-wears a size 5/6, and looks more like a 4/5 year old than a 2 year old so I worry they won’t give us grace on the plane. His special needs are also not obvious even though they are significant.

No one is entitled to use an airplane without a mask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t leave him behind
Do they require masks for 2 year olds?

Masks are absolutely required and there have been many news stories of families being kicked off planes for not complying, even with 2 yos, and even while making a good faith effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. It’s freaking Christmas week! Though I know my 2 yo does not understand that. It feels heartless leaving him.

The 2-year-old might now understand that it's Christmas, but the 5-year-old definitely will! I think it's a very bad message to send to the older child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t leave him behind
Do they require masks for 2 year olds?

Um yeah. Even if the kid has asthma:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2021/09/17/toddlers-mask-refusal-gets-family-booted-from-plane-report/amp/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t leave him behind
Do they require masks for 2 year olds?

Um yeah. Even if the kid has asthma:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2021/09/17/toddlers-mask-refusal-gets-family-booted-from-plane-report/amp/

See also

https://www.google.com/amp/s/beta.ctvnews.ca/national/coronavirus/2020/12/14/1_5230501.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back in January 2020 when I stupidly thought everything would be Ok by now, I booked a trip for Christmas week with me, DH, and our two kids (ages 2 and 5), plus my mom.

I am having second thoughts about going because my 2 yo will not wear a mask on the plane. He has special needs (epilepsy and another developmental disorder and a speech delay). He’s also very difficult to take care of and I’m afraid of traveling so far with him (1 hour drive + 4.5 hour plane ride + 2 hour drive).

Our options are to cancel or leave the 2 yo home with our nanny.

My hesitation about leaving him home with nanny is:

1. It’s freaking Christmas week! Though I know my 2 yo does not understand that. It feels heartless leaving him.
2. A week feels like a long time to be gone. We’ve left him before but only for 1-2 nights.
3. The nanny and DS will be on their own. Due to a weird travel logistics issue, the nanny’s family (husband and elementary age kids) will be out of the country that week. Our nanny doesn’t seem to have a ton of friends and I feel sad thinking of them on their own (I’ll leave $$$ for them to do activities and have encouraged her to make plans with friends or family but I think they’ll be alone a lot).
4. 2 yo DS adores and worships 5 yo DS. I feel so bad thinking of DS2 being away from DS5 for a week (though DS5 would love the break from all the screaming/tantrums).

cancel the trip. I can't even believe you are thinking about leaving your 2 year old on Christmas!

Would you cancel or take him? Please-no tips on teaching him to wear a mask. We have done all the things. We have tried. Not looking for advice on that.

[Anonymous]

That’s a rough spot, op. My inclination would be to cancel.

[Anonymous]

Cancel the trip.

If you think your 5 year old needs more 1:1 time (one of my kids is autistic, I get the sibling needing a break), schedule something special for him with just one parent not at Christmas.

[Anonymous]

How comfortable do you feel about being out of the country if your two year old has a medical emergency in the nanny's care? How comfortable does she feel?

[Anonymous]

LOL Sounds like you don't like your 2-year-old very much. Who even contemplates taking their entire family but one child and abandoning them for a week at Christmas?

[Anonymous]

I'd probably cancel. This is a snapshot in time... the Caribbean will be there next year and the year after. Eventually the mask mandate will be lifted or your DS will adjust to wearing a mask. I don't think you'll enjoy yourself if you're worrying/ feeling guilty about your 2 year old at home. I'd plan a night or two away for you and DH someplace local-ish and call it a day. I think you're wrestling with this due, in part, to COVID fatigue and the desire to get back to normal. It sucks.