Christmas travel-leaving 2 year old home while whole family goes to Caribbean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you take him if he would wear his mask on plane? Why not try anyway?

Because that's going to cause actual trauma to the kid in question and the 5 yo.

When he can't wear it, they are all going to get kicked off the plane and put on that airlines no fly list. That's not only going to be traumatic for the 2 yo but the 5 yo as well who WILL understand and remember that he's not going on a vacation because of his SN sibling.

I'm all for SN kids have rights, but honestly, if you are NOT a SN parent or the relative of a SN person, your opinion here is moot. Being the parent of a SN kid is a fulltime job & those parents deserve breaks. Being the sibling of a SN child is difficult and you can easily feel not as important because so much of your parents' time is spent focusing on the SN sibling.

I don't get why they can't just buy the flimsiest gaiter-style mask (or at least a very very soft breathable toddler mask) available and hold it on his face when the flight attendant walks by. And the rest of the time, have the kid eat or drink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you take him if he would wear his mask on plane? Why not try anyway?

Because that's going to cause actual trauma to the kid in question and the 5 yo.

When he can't wear it, they are all going to get kicked off the plane and put on that airlines no fly list. That's not only going to be traumatic for the 2 yo but the 5 yo as well who WILL understand and remember that he's not going on a vacation because of his SN sibling.

I'm all for SN kids have rights, but honestly, if you are NOT a SN parent or the relative of a SN person, your opinion here is moot. Being the parent of a SN kid is a fulltime job & those parents deserve breaks. Being the sibling of a SN child is difficult and you can easily feel not as important because so much of your parents' time is spent focusing on the SN sibling.

I don't get why they can't just buy the flimsiest gaiter-style mask (or at least a very very soft breathable toddler mask) available and hold it on his face when the flight attendant walks by. And the rest of the time, have the kid eat or drink.

This is what I'd do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you take him if he would wear his mask on plane? Why not try anyway?

Because that's going to cause actual trauma to the kid in question and the 5 yo.

When he can't wear it, they are all going to get kicked off the plane and put on that airlines no fly list. That's not only going to be traumatic for the 2 yo but the 5 yo as well who WILL understand and remember that he's not going on a vacation because of his SN sibling.

I'm all for SN kids have rights, but honestly, if you are NOT a SN parent or the relative of a SN person, your opinion here is moot. Being the parent of a SN kid is a fulltime job & those parents deserve breaks. Being the sibling of a SN child is difficult and you can easily feel not as important because so much of your parents' time is spent focusing on the SN sibling.

I don't get why they can't just buy the flimsiest gaiter-style mask (or at least a very very soft breathable toddler mask) available and hold it on his face when the flight attendant walks by. And the rest of the time, have the kid eat or drink.

This is what I'd do.

That sounds pretty stressful for everyone. Mom should stay home. Send rest of family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you take him if he would wear his mask on plane? Why not try anyway?

Because that's going to cause actual trauma to the kid in question and the 5 yo.

When he can't wear it, they are all going to get kicked off the plane and put on that airlines no fly list. That's not only going to be traumatic for the 2 yo but the 5 yo as well who WILL understand and remember that he's not going on a vacation because of his SN sibling.

I'm all for SN kids have rights, but honestly, if you are NOT a SN parent or the relative of a SN person, your opinion here is moot. Being the parent of a SN kid is a fulltime job & those parents deserve breaks. Being the sibling of a SN child is difficult and you can easily feel not as important because so much of your parents' time is spent focusing on the SN sibling.

I don't get why they can't just buy the flimsiest gaiter-style mask (or at least a very very soft breathable toddler mask) available and hold it on his face when the flight attendant walks by. And the rest of the time, have the kid eat or drink.

This is what I'd do.

PP above here. This is what I'm planning to do with my (completely neurotypical/well-behaved) 2yo on a short flight coming up. She likes masks for about 5 minutes, but expecting a child who's not even toilet-trained or fully verbal to wear a mask longer-term is unrealistic and stupid (which is likely why other countries aren't requiring masks that young). We're phoning it in as much as we can.

[Anonymous]

I hope this isn’t real. Please don’t abandon your baby at Christmas because he’s an inconvenience to your Caribbean plans. Even if you don’t care about whether he’ll remember it, your older child will learn that you just leave family members behind when they get in the way of your fun.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP, I would either cancel or I would stay with DS2 (and maybe the nanny) and let my DH, older son and grandma go. I would feel horrible leaving my son during Christmas and I would be worried about his health. This is if you absolutely cannot take him. You did not give this as an option, but if it were me, I would absolutely take him.

I have 3 kids and while none has SN, they were all difficult at 2 or so and we always traveled a lot on much much longer flights (8-17 hours flights). I flew alone with 2 of them (one 3.5 and one 1.5 for 15 hours once. It was madness, but even alone I made it.

As per the mask, my now 2.5 year old came with me to Europe this summer and supposedly had to wear a mask on our United flight. He had a mask for maybe 5 minutes. Nobody said anything to us. Thankfully once we arrived in Europe, he was not required anymore.
You are going with 2 other able adults. I am sure you can handle him for 4.5 hours on a plane

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you take him if he would wear his mask on plane? Why not try anyway?

Because that's going to cause actual trauma to the kid in question and the 5 yo.

When he can't wear it, they are all going to get kicked off the plane and put on that airlines no fly list. That's not only going to be traumatic for the 2 yo but the 5 yo as well who WILL understand and remember that he's not going on a vacation because of his SN sibling.

I'm all for SN kids have rights, but honestly, if you are NOT a SN parent or the relative of a SN person, your opinion here is moot. Being the parent of a SN kid is a fulltime job & those parents deserve breaks. Being the sibling of a SN child is difficult and you can easily feel not as important because so much of your parents' time is spent focusing on the SN sibling.

+1,000,000,000

I don't get why they can't just buy the flimsiest gaiter-style mask (or at least a very very soft breathable toddler mask) available and hold it on his face when the flight attendant walks by. And the rest of the time, have the kid eat or drink.

Because this child's *comfort* doesn't trump everyone's else's *right* not to be exposed to covid. What I don't get: why ppl. like the poster quoted above don't understand that it's immoral to risk other's lives in order to avoid mere inconveniences

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never ever leave a child behind. You can still get covid vaccinated and bring it back to him. Stay home.

good point. the whole family could get covid and have to quarantine for weeks abroad. then what?

+1000,000

One of my friends went for a wedding abroad and tested positive there. She had to quarantine there for an additional 2 weeks before coming home to the U.S.

So OP, what happens if you guys get stuck abroad for 3 weeks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you take him if he would wear his mask on plane? Why not try anyway?

Because that's going to cause actual trauma to the kid in question and the 5 yo.

When he can't wear it, they are all going to get kicked off the plane and put on that airlines no fly list. That's not only going to be traumatic for the 2 yo but the 5 yo as well who WILL understand and remember that he's not going on a vacation because of his SN sibling.

I'm all for SN kids have rights, but honestly, if you are NOT a SN parent or the relative of a SN person, your opinion here is moot. Being the parent of a SN kid is a fulltime job & those parents deserve breaks. Being the sibling of a SN child is difficult and you can easily feel not as important because so much of your parents' time is spent focusing on the SN sibling.

+1,000,000,000

I don't get why they can't just buy the flimsiest gaiter-style mask (or at least a very very soft breathable toddler mask) available and hold it on his face when the flight attendant walks by. And the rest of the time, have the kid eat or drink.

Because this child's *comfort* doesn't trump everyone's else's *right* not to be exposed to covid. What I don't get: why ppl. like the poster quoted above don't understand that it's immoral to risk other's lives in order to avoid mere inconveniences

This is pretty dramatic. Vaccines are widely available. If someone is so high-risk that they are seriously concerned about dying of COVID while being vaccinated, then they shouldn't be flying until the pandemic is truly over. If someone's unvaccinated and worried about dying of COVID because of that...that's on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. So many comments. Thanks for the replies.

Not sure what to clarify at this point that I haven’t already said.

My hesitation in leaving him is primarily because it’s a long time to be away from him and I am unsure how I will do with it and how he will do with it. I worry I worry 2 yo will really struggle without his brother. I could see it all being fine though-I’ll miss him for sure and feel guilty for sure. Those things go without saying. I don’t see them as reasons not to go.

DH and my mom have no reservations about this plan and we formulated it together. DH is insisting on it. Any scenario in which anyone suffers lifelong emotional impact from this decision seems so remote that I am not concerned about it.

My sons condition is permanent and incurable. He has had seizures with our nanny. She was a nurse in her home country and has been with us at many of the medical appointments. We take seizure meds and have rescue meds for prolonged seizures, if he had to go to the hospital it would be better he be in our home city with the medical team we have here. He’s been seizure free for nearly 3 months though and it’s very unlikely that anything catastrophic will happen.

Your risk assessment is on the likelihood. You need to examine it from likelihood and IMPACT. Low likelihood, but if it was a worst case scenario the IMPACT is enormous and life changing for everyone involved. Do you want to show up at the hospital and tell the medical staff, “sorry I’m late I was in the Caribbean” though I KNOW I have a medically fragile child.

Op here. It wouldn’t be life changing. My arriving after the fact doesn’t mean he wouldn’t receive care. Our nanny would get him medical care, at a hospital that knows him, with a neurologist team who treats him now. I’ll be dialing in every step of the way. Of course I would always want to be there but he will receive care whether I am there or not.

Seizures in and of themselves are not harmful and we deal with them-they are not an emergency for a child like mine where we know and understand the cause and he’s receiving treatment.

It would be bad for him, in a long-term way, to have a medical event requiring hospitalization without his mother there. IDK how else to say this. Are you depressed by any chance? Your refusal of your significance in this child’s life is…bizarre.

[Anonymous]

I would never leave my child to go for vacation. I know you didn't plan it like that. Especially, a child with special needs. Honestly, I couldn't enjoy the trip at all leaving my child behind.

[Anonymous]

You’re leaving your 2 year old behind AND making your nanny work on Dec 25th???? What is wrong with you???

[Anonymous]

cancel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, the kid isn't going to be scarred for life by being left at home with a good caregiver. But personally, I wouldn't go for three reasons.

(1) DH and I have an informal rule to never both be out of the country away from our kids at the same time. (We both have jobs that require some international travel.) The thought of something happening that prevents us both from getting home is too scary -- another 9/11 situation, a quick shutdown in flights because of some new pandemic, the Iceland volcano shutting down flights, civil unrest in whatever country we are going to, etc.

(2) I personally wouldn't be able to relax over Christmas without both of my kids. But I do understand that parents of kids with significant SN may feel different.

(3) I don't think I could bear to tell neighbors or friends we had done this. Not to worry too much about what other people think, but to leave one kid home without family over Christmas while the rest of us go on vacation is so outside of the mainstream that I really wouldn't feel comfortable with people knowing we had done it.

+1. Plus with his medical issues - is the nanny approved to make medical decisions? Just seems nuts.

[Anonymous]

Can you leave both kids at home with the nanny and grandma? Seems more equitable that way. You and DH can take a break!