Christmas travel-leaving 2 year old home while whole family goes to Caribbean?

[Anonymous]

Or, you take the nanny with you. You have three adults, two kids. You don’t leave one at home.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I’d go except for one thing, the uncertainty of returning when scheduled. If you test positive for covid, you will have to quarantine for another 10 days or so.

[Anonymous]

OP, not sure if you are still reading this but the CDC specifically exempts individuals who cannot wear a mask due to a disability as defined under the ADA. The airlines had a grace period but are now required to allow medical exemptions although that varies by airline. You should call and ask their policy. Here is a discussion of some policies: https://wheelchairtravel.org/federal-government-airlines-must-waive-face-mask-rule-for-disabled-passengers/

I definitely would NOT leave my SN kid home. If the airline you are on is going to be a pain I would consider either you and your DH switching to a different airline with your kid and the other parent can go with the 5 year old on the original tickets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you can do it with nobody permanently emotionally scarred but don’t tell anyone you are doing it because it sounds pretty bad. If you do it, celebrate Christmas the week before you leave, make it a big deal, and then have the 25th be a normal day for your 5 yo. I’d also consider options like you go away with dh and leave both kids with the nanny ( maybe for a partial week) or you and your mom go for a few days (or a combo of both).

Op here. Yeah I won’t be telling anyone that’s for sure, if we end up going.

We already blew our travel budget on this trip snd can’t afford to plan another one in its place.

Our flight isn’t until the evening of the 25th so we’d still have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together up until the afternoon.

I guess another option is bring him and just hope we don’t get kicked off the plane but again, he is HUGE and looks much older than he is so I’m unsure that would work.

I already tried to make the trip a bit shorter so we’d be gone less time, but since it’s Christmas/New Years week the flights are super difficult to change at this point.

I'd still move Christmas earlier. You want to disconnect them in your kids' mind, so Christmas was a nice family thing and the trip is totally separate. Put a few days between them and the kids won't associate one with the other. Plus, you will be packing and stressed about leaving on the 25th and it won't feel like a real holiday.

Realistically I think the odds of you guys getting kicked off the plane are very low. It's Christmas, he's two (bring documentation), and people are not as vehement about masking as they were a few months ago. If you could tie on or attach a mask to him for boarding and takeoff, you'd probably get away with it. But I get that it would be very stressful to roll the dice like that.

I also think you are away overthinking the mask thing- I have an almost 3 year old who won't wear a mask for more than 5 minutes basically and we stuck it on her at take off and landing, i acted in good faith an dt was fine. Otherwise, celebrate xmas, tree, santa, presents etc. on the 23, go to a service if you do that on teh 24th and xmas is over!. Leave on the 25th without the 2 year old. We are a brown family and i wear a hijab.. we have zero "privilege" in being treated well while flying and we did it 2 times so i think you should be ok and not worry about it. Just don't engage with the staff when they tell you to put teh mask on. Agree with them, put your head down and try to put it on in front of them, then they will walk off. also have you tried putting a face screen? That might be easier. .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you leave both kids at home with the nanny and grandma? Seems more equitable that way. You and DH can take a break!

Terrible idea. The 5 year old will remember this as another he couldn’t do because of his sibling. Way to create resentment!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you can do it with nobody permanently emotionally scarred but don’t tell anyone you are doing it because it sounds pretty bad. If you do it, celebrate Christmas the week before you leave, make it a big deal, and then have the 25th be a normal day for your 5 yo. I’d also consider options like you go away with dh and leave both kids with the nanny ( maybe for a partial week) or you and your mom go for a few days (or a combo of both).

Op here. Yeah I won’t be telling anyone that’s for sure, if we end up going.

We already blew our travel budget on this trip snd can’t afford to plan another one in its place.

Our flight isn’t until the evening of the 25th so we’d still have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together up until the afternoon.

I guess another option is bring him and just hope we don’t get kicked off the plane but again, he is HUGE and looks much older than he is so I’m unsure that would work.

I already tried to make the trip a bit shorter so we’d be gone less time, but since it’s Christmas/New Years week the flights are super difficult to change at this point.

I'd still move Christmas earlier. You want to disconnect them in your kids' mind, so Christmas was a nice family thing and the trip is totally separate. Put a few days between them and the kids won't associate one with the other. Plus, you will be packing and stressed about leaving on the 25th and it won't feel like a real holiday.

Realistically I think the odds of you guys getting kicked off the plane are very low. It's Christmas, he's two (bring documentation), and people are not as vehement about masking as they were a few months ago. If you could tie on or attach a mask to him for boarding and takeoff, you'd probably get away with it. But I get that it would be very stressful to roll the dice like that.

I also think you are away overthinking the mask thing- I have an almost 3 year old who won't wear a mask for more than 5 minutes basically and we stuck it on her at take off and landing, i acted in good faith an dt was fine. Otherwise, celebrate xmas, tree, santa, presents etc. on the 23, go to a service if you do that on teh 24th and xmas is over!. Leave on the 25th without the 2 year old. We are a brown family and i wear a hijab.. we have zero "privilege" in being treated well while flying and we did it 2 times so i think you should be ok and not worry about it. Just don't engage with the staff when they tell you to put teh mask on. Agree with them, put your head down and try to put it on in front of them, then they will walk off. also have you tried putting a face screen? That might be easier. .

Similar experience here. Also if you're in economy the flight attendants will mostly ignore you anyway, lol. Perks of crappy airline service.

[Anonymous]

So did you go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So did you go?

They went on a cruise ship... Being denied entry on all ports. The 2 yr old is probably....????

[Anonymous]

OP please give us an update!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish more people in this situation would go to the media. The mask mandates, without reasonable accomodations for small children, are inhumane. It was fine early in the pandemic, but we shouldn't be preventing families from traveling for nearly two years.

lol you think this story is going to tug at heartstrings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how you have multiple nannies but can't afford to cancel this trip and book something suitable for the entire family.

This.

And in another thread on another subforum OP says she tries to spend as little time as possible with her children and will pay to have the nannies around. So I find it hard to believe she wanted to go on vacation alone w/her kids even w/her mom there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP please give us an update!

This is her update from another thread. I read that thread awhile ago and thought "wow that's interesting." And then I found this thread today and put two and two together.


https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/15/1022510.page

Anonymous wrote:I channel nearly all my energy into figuring out how to have childcare so I can get away from my children. I have childcare 7 days a week (but not all day).

When we are facing a weekend with no childcare, I feel raw dread.

I’m leaving one of my children with a nanny and traveling at Christmas time with DH and the other child.

I have threads on this board where I’ve been told I’m literal trash and should have had an abortion.

So I guess I’m a clear domestic failure.

My kids seem to love me and I provide a good life for them. My DH doesn’t really help and it turns out my energy levels are probably below average. I didn’t realize these things til after the 2nd kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP please give us an update!

This is her update from another thread. I read that thread awhile ago and thought "wow that's interesting." And then I found this thread today and put two and two together.


https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/15/1022510.page

Anonymous wrote:I channel nearly all my energy into figuring out how to have childcare so I can get away from my children. I have childcare 7 days a week (but not all day).

When we are facing a weekend with no childcare, I feel raw dread.

I’m leaving one of my children with a nanny and traveling at Christmas time with DH and the other child.

I have threads on this board where I’ve been told I’m literal trash and should have had an abortion.

So I guess I’m a clear domestic failure.

My kids seem to love me and I provide a good life for them. My DH doesn’t really help and it turns out my energy levels are probably below average. I didn’t realize these things til after the 2nd kid.

That makes me sad. She should seek out therapy and might need medication for depression or anxiety.

[Anonymous]

My 3 yr old is horrible with masks. Nobody cared. Take the 2 yr old (and the nanny)!

[Anonymous]

Op here.

We went and left the 2 yo home. It was wonderful.
DH and I had lots of good one on one time together and with our older DC.

Our youngest did well at home with the nanny. We were in touch continuously via phone.

We did sign temporary guardianship papers before we left in case anything should happen while we’re gone. I prepared a binder for her with insurance info (health, life, travel), plus relevant medical records, our will/trust, etc.

Our “nanny” really is our family. Even setting aside the trip, she’s the person who would be the guardian for both of our children if we died.

Before this trip I was very depressed. I am on meds and i do therapy and they weren’t working. Having a week away has given me my Will to live back. Life CAN be enjoyable. My life feels worth living again. I feel like a new person. Or rather, I feel more like myself again.