MIL doesn’t understand the cost of life

[Anonymous]

My MIL raised kids during an era when the cost of housing was low, you could raise a family on one income and kids stayed at the pool from morning to night with little to no supervision. Beach vacations cost a few hundred dollars per week.

She was a SAHM who had little jobs here and there but nothing of consequence.

I feel like we are on completely different wavelengths when I talk about the high cost of living and how we are always fighting for promotions and raises to afford a nice lifestyle for our family. We both work full time to afford our house and we are on two very long waitlists for a pool in our county. We are spending $5k on our beach vacation for a week.

How can I get her to understand how much things cost without her looking at me like I have two heads? For example, when I tell her I am going back to work after my mat leave ends, she almost looks puzzled and disappointed.

It makes me not want to be around her. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Who cares what she thinks and why do you feel like you have to explain anything to her?? I truly do not care what my ILs think of my life or choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares what she thinks and why do you feel like you have to explain anything to her?? I truly do not care what my ILs think of my life or choices.

+1 How is this even a topic of conversation?

[Anonymous]

Sorry your husband doesn’t make enough to support your family. His life growing up sounds pretty nice even tough his mom did “nothing of consequence”.

[Anonymous]

$5k for a beach week is not a lot.

[Anonymous]

Why do you discuss money with her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$5k for a beach week is not a lot.

Yeah, it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$5k for a beach week is not a lot.

You couldn’t be more DCUM if you tried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you discuss money with her?

We often talk about work bc it takes up a big part of our life. It’s just hard to relate to someone who never had to work hard.

[Anonymous]

People want more things now. Bigger houses, eating out, house cleaners, more than one car, vacations, college for their kids, etc. I don’t know if things were actually cheaper but you are not comparing apples to apples.

[Anonymous]

There are certain topics l don’t talk to my parents about, other topics l don’t talk to friend x about, etc. If you know discussing this with her will just make you feel bad, don’t bring it up. It’s not like whatever she says will actually impact what you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People want more things now. Bigger houses, eating out, house cleaners, more than one car, vacations, college for their kids, etc. I don’t know if things were actually cheaper but you are not comparing apples to apples.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry your husband doesn’t make enough to support your family. His life growing up sounds pretty nice even tough his mom did “nothing of consequence”.

I might have felt bad for you but you don't understand her life, why should she understand yours?? You sound rude and self centered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are certain topics l don’t talk to my parents about, other topics l don’t talk to friend x about, etc. If you know discussing this with her will just make you feel bad, don’t bring it up. It’s not like whatever she says will actually impact what you do.

I feel like she is judging us for not making choices that she did.

She often brings up her son in law who is a stay at home dad and how great that is for his kids and how she doesn’t think her son ( my husband) should be working so hard to get promotions.

[Anonymous]

It seems like you lack social skills. Normally people find things to talk about that they can BOTH relate to. Normally people don't talk about themselves on and on. Normally people don't talk about money and such so much.