I overstepped. What now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't WANT your friends at THEIR wedding. Those are YOUR friends, not theirs. So no, don't offer to pay for your extra friends.

Just don't bring it up again to anyone and if any of the friends who WON'T be invited bring it up, just lie and tell them that after the bride & groom finalized their wedding budget they are having a very small, intimate wedding.

OP here. But again, they'll be able to see with their own eyes from the photos and from Facebook and from the invites couples that this is just not true! It's a close circle and they'll know from the new who are invited that it isn't small or family-only.

NP. Here’s an idea: you could stop being a narcissist and thinking you’re entitled to put photos of someone else’s event on your Facebook page. Grow up and get your own life.

Thinking you’re entitled to invite 14 of your friends to someone else’s event is almost unbelievable. I think you should uninvite the entire lot of them. They are not who the couple wants at their wedding. Then you don’t need to choose. The couple invites THEIR friends and the other parents might invite some which may be okay since they’re actually paying for it.

NP. Of course there are rules. First off, no photos of minor children without the express consent of their parents. You know that, right? Tell me you know that.

Also, no strealing professional photos without purchasing. So tacky to see watermarks!

Hold up, is this the social media rule now? Nobody should post any pics of attending a birthday party, or a promotion celebration, or a retirement celebration? How about their kids high school or college graduation? Or a friends' large Memorial Day barbeque?

This seems so very wrong, and just piling on the OP. She made a mistake. She admitted it. But setting aside the fact that she "already invited" She IS in a bind. She has a fairly distinct circle of seven couples and she has to decide which 5 to invite. Of course the couple getting married has the absolute right to decide how many people to have at their wedding. It doesn't mean she isn't in a tough spot and needs to figure out how to navigate through it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't WANT your friends at THEIR wedding. Those are YOUR friends, not theirs. So no, don't offer to pay for your extra friends.

Just don't bring it up again to anyone and if any of the friends who WON'T be invited bring it up, just lie and tell them that after the bride & groom finalized their wedding budget they are having a very small, intimate wedding.

OP here. But again, they'll be able to see with their own eyes from the photos and from Facebook and from the invites couples that this is just not true! It's a close circle and they'll know from the new who are invited that it isn't small or family-only.

God you’re relentless. I can tell already you’re going to be a nightmare of a MIL. You don’t have to lie. You’ve been given great advice on here on offering honest advice, but you are ignoring because you are refusing to acknowledge that you must “undo” your “invites.” Stop avoiding doing the right thing and trying to finagle a way to get your way.

[Anonymous]

OP you're fine. This wasn't a malicious act. Don't listen to these uptight hags. Let it go. Your son and his fiance have a while to go and a 2022 guest list will change. Don't even bring it up. Grooms side usually hosts the rehearsal dinner, if that's your plan, invite the extra couples to that event. If it really gets down and dirty (a year from now) and you have to eliminate 2 couples, let them self select.

I added a few people at the last minute because I'm not an ogre. So sorry your joy is already overshadowed with nonsense.

[Anonymous]

I think I would invite none of my friends if otherwise I’d have to choose two couples in a tight-knit circle to exclude. I’d be totally honest with my friends about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be the in-law from hell if you start saying you want to add more guests (even if offering to pay). Don’t ruin your child’s future life. Apologize to your friends for YOUR mistake and then learn to take a back seat.

No. You cannot add to the guest list. Just tell ALL couples you are not sure if they will be invited and you made a mistake.

Oh GOOD GRIEF. For some reason people on DCUM think that brides and grooms are made of glass or something. Just have a conversation with your son. You don't have to say "I already invited people." Just say, "I was thinking about which 5 couples we could invite, and there are really 7 couples who we'd like to include. Would it be possible to have 4 more people?" I mean, FFS. Is it really such a huge, dramatic imposition to have a conversation with one's own child? If he says no, then take no for an answer and don't bring it up again. But maybe the answer will be yes, who knows. And then problem solved.

I really don't understand how people who are in a family cannot just have a simple conversation.

Dp. Then you should ask that very question to the op. She is still wrong though to have told the couples before she talked yo her son and DIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you're fine. This wasn't a malicious act. Don't listen to these uptight hags. Let it go. Your son and his fiance have a while to go and a 2022 guest list will change. Don't even bring it up. Grooms side usually hosts the rehearsal dinner, if that's your plan, invite the extra couples to that event. If it really gets down and dirty (a year from now) and you have to eliminate 2 couples, let them self select.

I added a few people at the last minute because I'm not an ogre. So sorry your joy is already overshadowed with nonsense.

Pp why are you insulting us? Maybe you are like op and a mother in law from hell? Seems to struck a chord and so you lash out. I thought the resposes were very measured and pretty much unanimous!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I would invite none of my friends if otherwise I’d have to choose two couples in a tight-knit circle to exclude. I’d be totally honest with my friends about it.

Same here. My friends would totally understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I would invite none of my friends if otherwise I’d have to choose two couples in a tight-knit circle to exclude. I’d be totally honest with my friends about it.

This is the best solution OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll or a crazy person.

Which was pointed out, op is unlikely a future mil, she is likely the bride. Even Jeff said OP changed some details, yet people are posting this is obtuse, unbelievable but still replying to a troll!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're fine. This wasn't a malicious act. Don't listen to these uptight hags. Let it go. Your son and his fiance have a while to go and a 2022 guest list will change. Don't even bring it up. Grooms side usually hosts the rehearsal dinner, if that's your plan, invite the extra couples to that event. If it really gets down and dirty (a year from now) and you have to eliminate 2 couples, let them self select.

I added a few people at the last minute because I'm not an ogre. So sorry your joy is already overshadowed with nonsense.

Pp why are you insulting us? Maybe you are like op and a mother in law from hell? Seems to struck a chord and so you lash out. I thought the resposes were very measured and pretty much unanimous!

Ah, I see. You're a member of the MIL from hell club. I'm not a MIL. My MIL wasn't always pleasant, but I treated her with respect, nonetheless.

Why do you feel I was specifically insulting you? Maybe your response was measured, others were rude. Whether OP is a troll or not, my response would be the same. OP was excited and shared her joy with her closest friends.

[Anonymous]

OP, we know you are not in earnest, stop sock puppeting. You hate your future MIL, we get it.

[Anonymous]

You need to cancel on the people you invited. This is not your gig.

[Anonymous]

So, if OP is actually the bride, what answer is she looking/hoping for?

She keeps asking about just paying for the extra guests- does she want to be able to tell future MIL, sure you can invite your friends, but you’ll have to pay for their meals?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, if OP is actually the bride, what answer is she looking/hoping for?

She keeps asking about just paying for the extra guests- does she want to be able to tell future MIL, sure you can invite your friends, but you’ll have to pay for their meals?

To tear down her future MIL. We had her post before. She is not looking for productive advice, hence the "but, they will see from the pictures." Her initial post was how do I fix it, as in making it up to my son and his fiance. Then, she sock puppeted, but my friends will feel slighted when they see pics. Then, what if I pay, this is clearly a bridezilla wanting to create trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, if OP is actually the bride, what answer is she looking/hoping for?

She keeps asking about just paying for the extra guests- does she want to be able to tell future MIL, sure you can invite your friends, but you’ll have to pay for their meals?

No, she wants to say, it is my wedding and the whole dcum is saying MIL is a monster.
I got married years ago, and my parents paid for it. The wedding was a family and friends affair. My parents invited the guests, I had no issue with it, as my parents' friends were my family's friends too, who knew me my whole life. It is extremely normal to invite family friends to your wedding, at least in my country of origin. My sister did the same, as did my American SIL and BIL.
This is a bridezilla that is mad about her fiance's mother wanting to have a few friends who are definitely friends of the family. Bridezilla to the core. If this was the future MIL, she would not be sock puppeting and making herself look bad.