Signs of infidelity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So a couple of hundred dollars a month or every other month would be more than enough to fund an affair? What about massage parlors? How much do they cost?

There is no standard amount of money needed to have an affair! Can be done with no money at all.

Affairs can be done pretty cheaply. Nice hotels are hard to rent during the hours you want the room, say noon to 3PM, or any given morning. The cheap ones are much more accommodating. Think, $75 and under cheap. You aren't dating so there isn't usually much wining and dining (can't be seen in public) and no real need to exchange gifts. You get together for sex, a bit of conversation, maybe a nice bath together. And you find places other than hotel rooms when you can. Couple hundred a month pocket change can fund an affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So a couple of hundred dollars a month or every other month would be more than enough to fund an affair? What about massage parlors? How much do they cost?

There is no standard amount of money needed to have an affair! Can be done with no money at all.

Affairs can be done pretty cheaply. Nice hotels are hard to rent during the hours you want the room, say noon to 3PM, or any given morning. The cheap ones are much more accommodating. Think, $75 and under cheap. You aren't dating so there isn't usually much wining and dining (can't be seen in public) and no real need to exchange gifts. You get together for sex, a bit of conversation, maybe a nice bath together. And you find places other than hotel rooms when you can. Couple hundred a month pocket change can fund an affair.

A bath in a cheap hotel. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the Cheater who offered to answer questions..... how much does it cost to have an affair and how/when did you meet with AP? Suspect my spouse had one because of money he spent but couldn't/wouldn't tell me on what. I really want to get some idea of how much an affair would cost

Jumping on to add an additional question.

How did it start? Was it someone you knew in real life or did you use the Internet to intentionally look for an affair partner?

Someone I had met, but did not know well. I decided to cheat, just to be clear. I don't want to make any excuses for it so I won't, but made reasons why I could/should in my head. And I did go on Ashley Madison and almost slept with someone there, but did not. There were reasons, let's say. In talking with a friend, I explained how I felt and was connected with this person. It went from there.

What was wrong with the Ashley Madison chick? Looks? Psycho?

We met for a while. After we met and talked for a couple weeks she said she was ready to have sex, but then said, I need to tell you I have herpes. While my wife and I had not had sex for a long time, I was still hoping we would and could not bring that to her. And I would not have had the guts to tell her and likely would have given it to her. Not fatal, but I just could't do that. It kind of messed up my mind, because I wanted to, but I just couldn't.

Nasty. Ashley Madison finest gals.

At least she was honest about having it--unlike the guy who gave it to her. --NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the Cheater who offered to answer questions..... how much does it cost to have an affair and how/when did you meet with AP? Suspect my spouse had one because of money he spent but couldn't/wouldn't tell me on what. I really want to get some idea of how much an affair would cost

Jumping on to add an additional question.

How did it start? Was it someone you knew in real life or did you use the Internet to intentionally look for an affair partner?

Someone I had met, but did not know well. I decided to cheat, just to be clear. I don't want to make any excuses for it so I won't, but made reasons why I could/should in my head. And I did go on Ashley Madison and almost slept with someone there, but did not. There were reasons, let's say. In talking with a friend, I explained how I felt and was connected with this person. It went from there.

What was wrong with the Ashley Madison chick? Looks? Psycho?

We met for a while. After we met and talked for a couple weeks she said she was ready to have sex, but then said, I need to tell you I have herpes. While my wife and I had not had sex for a long time, I was still hoping we would and could not bring that to her. And I would not have had the guts to tell her and likely would have given it to her. Not fatal, but I just could't do that. It kind of messed up my mind, because I wanted to, but I just couldn't.

Nasty. Ashley Madison finest gals.

At least she was honest about having it--unlike the guy who gave it to her. --NP

This. Tons of people have herpes. She is not passing it along. I'm giving her a gold star for her openness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the Cheater who offered to answer questions..... how much does it cost to have an affair and how/when did you meet with AP? Suspect my spouse had one because of money he spent but couldn't/wouldn't tell me on what. I really want to get some idea of how much an affair would cost

Jumping on to add an additional question.

How did it start? Was it someone you knew in real life or did you use the Internet to intentionally look for an affair partner?

Someone I had met, but did not know well. I decided to cheat, just to be clear. I don't want to make any excuses for it so I won't, but made reasons why I could/should in my head. And I did go on Ashley Madison and almost slept with someone there, but did not. There were reasons, let's say. In talking with a friend, I explained how I felt and was connected with this person. It went from there.

What was wrong with the Ashley Madison chick? Looks? Psycho?

We met for a while. After we met and talked for a couple weeks she said she was ready to have sex, but then said, I need to tell you I have herpes. While my wife and I had not had sex for a long time, I was still hoping we would and could not bring that to her. And I would not have had the guts to tell her and likely would have given it to her. Not fatal, but I just could't do that. It kind of messed up my mind, because I wanted to, but I just couldn't.

You think?!! Wtf?? There was even a moment you thought about it. Dear lord. How did you know the other one was clean before banging her?

The majority that have a disease won't tell because 99% wouldn't sleep with them. Herpes, Hep..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife should pick up on the fact that I now put zero effort into talking to her about our sex less marriage. Its not a problem I need to solve anymore. Same for trying to be physical with her.

My wife and I haven't had sex in a year, I stopped initiating and she doesn't seem to care. We were only 1-2x a month before,all at my initiation. A lot of women in sexless marriages know their husbands are cheating and don't care

If I knew my spouse cheated I would never have sex with them again. My health is too important to risk it for a low life person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you still friends with the person that facilitated you cheating on your wife that ended up costing you your marriage/family?

We are.

Do you regret cheating? If so, why since so many men who cheat don't care if the cheating has any impact on the wife. How is your ex wife doing now since this will affect her for a long time.

Also, there are studies that indicate that who you hang out with can influence your choices (just like your family can model behavior) and so why hang around with someone who facilitated this action for you? Just trying to gauge your mindset on this vs. your actions.

Thank you for answering questions.

I'll do the best I can.

Do I regret cheating? - absolutely yes. This was unforgivable, did incredible damage to my family, my wife in particular, and to myself. Financially, emotionally, spiritually, and whatever else you can imagine. While the marriage was not working, that does not mean I should have done what I did. I just did not communicate what I thought were my needs. Maybe we should have divorced after all, but maybe we should not have gotten married when we did. I don't know. I do know now that I could have and should have "manned up" and talked about it. I just did not.

I have no idea why other men cheat. I have not talked with other cheaters about that.

She seems well, but we do not talk all that often. When we do it is cordial and productive. As I wrote earlier, she is a very good woman. We have grown children and need to talk about them and coordinate things. I hope she is well. We do not bring our adult kids into the conversation about our relationship or what happened. They may well know, but we all have a "healthy" relationship at this point, and I will never say anything about about their mother and I don't think she has ever said anything bad about me. That does not mean this is not hard on them, I know it is. I have no idea if she is in a new relationship. That is none of my business, but I do hope she is doing well.

To the last question, I am still friends with the person. We do not hang out, but we are friends. The friend did not encourage me to do this, I expressed an interest and I was connected with an explanation of where I was. I can't blame the friend and we have not talked about the outcomes in detail. As best I know, none of my other friends who I hung out with regularly were cheaters. One had been divorced and on a second marriage, but I never asked about the details. I have read no studies, but for me, I don't the friends theory applies.

Just to be clear, the marriage may not have been working for you but part of it is how you handled yourself. Marriage might have been fixed if you were engaged in it. Again, it's sort of re-writing the history and that is what is pernicious about what you write. I suppose most of the consequences fell on your ex-wife since you wanted out of marriage anyway and your relationship with your children isn't affected. This is what's most galling in that your mistakes affect your ex-wife the most and you get what you want except for the finances (I bet her standard of living is still lower than yours).

This is a fair question/point. I am not trying to have any subtle, harmful effect in my responses. I am answering. I am not a psychologist, therapist, or social worker. I cheated and can only tell you about what I know. The way I handled myself was more than part of the problem. Both of our relationships with our children are affected, I am sure. I guess the last thing I would say is I did not want out of the marriage, I wanted sex. I went about it the wrong way.

I am not the OP, but why did you derail this thread and turn it into an AMA? You have had one AP (that stands for affair partner BTW) and an account on Ashley Madison. If you think that makes you some kind of expert in the ways of infidelity, start your own thread: "I regret my one affair. AMA."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are signs a spouse is having an affair?

He's happy for a change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the Cheater who offered to answer questions..... how much does it cost to have an affair and how/when did you meet with AP? Suspect my spouse had one because of money he spent but couldn't/wouldn't tell me on what. I really want to get some idea of how much an affair would cost

Jumping on to add an additional question.

How did it start? Was it someone you knew in real life or did you use the Internet to intentionally look for an affair partner?

Someone I had met, but did not know well. I decided to cheat, just to be clear. I don't want to make any excuses for it so I won't, but made reasons why I could/should in my head. And I did go on Ashley Madison and almost slept with someone there, but did not. There were reasons, let's say. In talking with a friend, I explained how I felt and was connected with this person. It went from there.

What was wrong with the Ashley Madison chick? Looks? Psycho?

We met for a while. After we met and talked for a couple weeks she said she was ready to have sex, but then said, I need to tell you I have herpes. While my wife and I had not had sex for a long time, I was still hoping we would and could not bring that to her. And I would not have had the guts to tell her and likely would have given it to her. Not fatal, but I just could't do that. It kind of messed up my mind, because I wanted to, but I just couldn't.

You think?!! Wtf?? There was even a moment you thought about it. Dear lord. How did you know the other one was clean before banging her?

The majority that have a disease won't tell because 99% wouldn't sleep with them. Herpes, Hep..

+100

And then the whore spouses pass it onto their spouses who have zero idea they are in a non-monogamous relationship. That and cancer causing HPV this is usually a symptomatic. F@cking criminal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife should pick up on the fact that I now put zero effort into talking to her about our sex less marriage. Its not a problem I need to solve anymore. Same for trying to be physical with her.

My wife and I haven't had sex in a year, I stopped initiating and she doesn't seem to care. We were only 1-2x a month before,all at my initiation. A lot of women in sexless marriages know their husbands are cheating and don't care

If I knew my spouse cheated I would never have sex with them again. My health is too important to risk it for a low life person.

Me too.

Just disgusted that he could willing harm my Health which intake so seriously and pride myself on clean HPV negative test. Gyn asked and for years I was like no need for std panel I’m in a monogamies marriage. Wtf?!?!!!!

I am so grossed out by these two promiscuous whores infecting their unknowing spouses.

And I’m a microbiologist/immunology we are learning about the microbiome these days. You are now infected with these strangers microbiome—which may contribute to harmful bacteria that can contribute to a hit of cancers and even mental illness. The mind gut/microbiome is real and new area of scientific exploration.

[Anonymous]

Office affairs are rampant. If they are eager to get to work Monday morning see it as a sign. These stats show 72% of employees romantically involved with someone at work, 20% admitting to affairs and nearly 50% indicating they have witnessed affairs. https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2019/02/14/these-6-surprising-office-romance-stats-should-be-a-wake-up-call-to-organizations/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife should pick up on the fact that I now put zero effort into talking to her about our sex less marriage. Its not a problem I need to solve anymore. Same for trying to be physical with her.

My wife and I haven't had sex in a year, I stopped initiating and she doesn't seem to care. We were only 1-2x a month before,all at my initiation. A lot of women in sexless marriages know their husbands are cheating and don't care

If I knew my spouse cheated I would never have sex with them again. My health is too important to risk it for a low life person.

Me too.

Just disgusted that he could willing harm my Health which intake so seriously and pride myself on clean HPV negative test. Gyn asked and for years I was like no need for std panel I’m in a monogamies marriage. Wtf?!?!!!!

I am so grossed out by these two promiscuous whores infecting their unknowing spouses.

And I’m a microbiologist/immunology we are learning about the microbiome these days. You are now infected with these strangers microbiome—which may contribute to harmful bacteria that can contribute to a hit of cancers and even mental illness. The mind gut/microbiome is real and new area of scientific exploration.

We had a friend die of HPV throat cancer. Now the one that gave it to him is in a LTR, yikes.

[Anonymous]

Michael Douglas’ Stage IV throat cancer was due to HPV.

[Anonymous]

HPV is often completely asymptomatic even when transmissible. The real kicker is men cannot be tested for it on a regular STD/STI panel so even if your spouse presents a clean STD/STI panel he could still have given you cancer-causing HPV. Women have to request to be tested for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HPV is often completely asymptomatic even when transmissible. The real kicker is men cannot be tested for it on a regular STD/STI panel so even if your spouse presents a clean STD/STI panel he could still have given you cancer-causing HPV. Women have to request to be tested for it.

Likelihood a woman having repeat Ashley Madison affairs and unprotected sex with the random men has HPV is likely in the 90% range. I know it’s Covid, but go get tested. I only needed a Pap smear every 5 years in my late 40s because I had a negative HPV test on file, but since I found out my husband f@cked a woman unprotected off of Ashley Madison and she had done this with other men too- I get tested yearly even if I plan on never letting that potentaiklr diseased dirty d@cl anywhere near me. It Hs worth noting HPV can be transmitted even with a condom-skin/oral contact.

Just nasty.