I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

OP's DIL is being a petulant drama queen. Of course having guests for long periods of time is not always easy, but there are also a lot of benefits and sometimes you don't always get what you want, even the entitled DILs of DCUM. Sometimes, acting like an adult is required in life and frankly makes life better. I really love my ILs, and yes, long visits aren't always easy, but the benefits are worth the minor inconvenience.

I am always shocked at just how strained and distant families on DCUM are. No guests for longer than a weekend? How do you keep close to distant relatives who want to visit, and who might not be able to afford hotel rooms? I genuinely don't think people on DCUM understand how to have close family relationships. It's certainly nothing to model or aspire to.

What? Where do you see anything about what the DIL is doing, other than encouraging her ILs to help themselves and retiring to her room in the evening when the children do? That sounds very gracious to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

OP's DIL is being a petulant drama queen. Of course having guests for long periods of time is not always easy, but there are also a lot of benefits and sometimes you don't always get what you want, even the entitled DILs of DCUM. Sometimes, acting like an adult is required in life and frankly makes life better. I really love my ILs, and yes, long visits aren't always easy, but the benefits are worth the minor inconvenience.

I am always shocked at just how strained and distant families on DCUM are. No guests for longer than a weekend? How do you keep close to distant relatives who want to visit, and who might not be able to afford hotel rooms? I genuinely don't think people on DCUM understand how to have close family relationships. It's certainly nothing to model or aspire to.

What? Where do you see anything about what the DIL is doing, other than encouraging her ILs to help themselves and retiring to her room in the evening when the children do? That sounds very gracious to me.

OP said she's being cold and will barely talk to her. That's petulant and rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

OP's DIL is being a petulant drama queen. Of course having guests for long periods of time is not always easy, but there are also a lot of benefits and sometimes you don't always get what you want, even the entitled DILs of DCUM. Sometimes, acting like an adult is required in life and frankly makes life better. I really love my ILs, and yes, long visits aren't always easy, but the benefits are worth the minor inconvenience.

I am always shocked at just how strained and distant families on DCUM are. No guests for longer than a weekend? How do you keep close to distant relatives who want to visit, and who might not be able to afford hotel rooms? I genuinely don't think people on DCUM understand how to have close family relationships. It's certainly nothing to model or aspire to.

OK B&omer!

I'm not a Boomer. But I do have close relationships with the Boomers in my family, which I guess you wouldn't understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

OP's DIL is being a petulant drama queen. Of course having guests for long periods of time is not always easy, but there are also a lot of benefits and sometimes you don't always get what you want, even the entitled DILs of DCUM. Sometimes, acting like an adult is required in life and frankly makes life better. I really love my ILs, and yes, long visits aren't always easy, but the benefits are worth the minor inconvenience.

I am always shocked at just how strained and distant families on DCUM are. No guests for longer than a weekend? How do you keep close to distant relatives who want to visit, and who might not be able to afford hotel rooms? I genuinely don't think people on DCUM understand how to have close family relationships. It's certainly nothing to model or aspire to.

What? Where do you see anything about what the DIL is doing, other than encouraging her ILs to help themselves and retiring to her room in the evening when the children do? That sounds very gracious to me.

OP said she's being cold and will barely talk to her. That's petulant and rude.

Gee, you think maybe that’s in reaction to OP being overbearing and annoying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

OP's DIL is being a petulant drama queen. Of course having guests for long periods of time is not always easy, but there are also a lot of benefits and sometimes you don't always get what you want, even the entitled DILs of DCUM. Sometimes, acting like an adult is required in life and frankly makes life better. I really love my ILs, and yes, long visits aren't always easy, but the benefits are worth the minor inconvenience.

I am always shocked at just how strained and distant families on DCUM are. No guests for longer than a weekend? How do you keep close to distant relatives who want to visit, and who might not be able to afford hotel rooms? I genuinely don't think people on DCUM understand how to have close family relationships. It's certainly nothing to model or aspire to.

What? Where do you see anything about what the DIL is doing, other than encouraging her ILs to help themselves and retiring to her room in the evening when the children do? That sounds very gracious to me.

OP said she's being cold and will barely talk to her. That's petulant and rude.

Gee, you think maybe that’s in reaction to OP being overbearing and annoying?

Perhaps it is. But regardless, it's still petulant and rude behavior from a host. And honestly, I haven't read too much from OP that makes me think she's being a bad guest; after all, she was invited to stay, and she's offering to help. What I see here is a sulky, whiny DIL who is being rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

OP's DIL is being a petulant drama queen. Of course having guests for long periods of time is not always easy, but there are also a lot of benefits and sometimes you don't always get what you want, even the entitled DILs of DCUM. Sometimes, acting like an adult is required in life and frankly makes life better. I really love my ILs, and yes, long visits aren't always easy, but the benefits are worth the minor inconvenience.

I am always shocked at just how strained and distant families on DCUM are. No guests for longer than a weekend? How do you keep close to distant relatives who want to visit, and who might not be able to afford hotel rooms? I genuinely don't think people on DCUM understand how to have close family relationships. It's certainly nothing to model or aspire to.

What? Where do you see anything about what the DIL is doing, other than encouraging her ILs to help themselves and retiring to her room in the evening when the children do? That sounds very gracious to me.

OP said she's being cold and will barely talk to her. That's petulant and rude.

Gee, you think maybe that’s in reaction to OP being overbearing and annoying?

Perhaps it is. But regardless, it's still petulant and rude behavior from a host. And honestly, I haven't read too much from OP that makes me think she's being a bad guest; after all, she was invited to stay, and she's offering to help. What I see here is a sulky, whiny DIL who is being rude.

So basically Op is being rude when she is not actively doting on her in-laws. Gotcha. Hotel for you pp. You are not the wonderful guest that you seem to think that you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

OP's DIL is being a petulant drama queen. Of course having guests for long periods of time is not always easy, but there are also a lot of benefits and sometimes you don't always get what you want, even the entitled DILs of DCUM. Sometimes, acting like an adult is required in life and frankly makes life better. I really love my ILs, and yes, long visits aren't always easy, but the benefits are worth the minor inconvenience.

I am always shocked at just how strained and distant families on DCUM are. No guests for longer than a weekend? How do you keep close to distant relatives who want to visit, and who might not be able to afford hotel rooms? I genuinely don't think people on DCUM understand how to have close family relationships. It's certainly nothing to model or aspire to.

What? Where do you see anything about what the DIL is doing, other than encouraging her ILs to help themselves and retiring to her room in the evening when the children do? That sounds very gracious to me.

OP said she's being cold and will barely talk to her. That's petulant and rude.

Gee, you think maybe that’s in reaction to OP being overbearing and annoying?

Perhaps it is. But regardless, it's still petulant and rude behavior from a host. And honestly, I haven't read too much from OP that makes me think she's being a bad guest; after all, she was invited to stay, and she's offering to help. What I see here is a sulky, whiny DIL who is being rude.

So basically Op is being rude when she is not actively doting on her in-laws. Gotcha. Hotel for you pp. You are not the wonderful guest that you seem to think that you are.

If you can't tell the difference between being cold, rude, and petulant (which is what OP described), and graciously retiring from hosting to a bedroom for alone time (which is not what OP described), you are obviously one of the socially stunted women with miserable families that haunt this site. I mean, whatever, continue in your strained, distant family life. Family life on this website is such a trainwreck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

OP's DIL is being a petulant drama queen. Of course having guests for long periods of time is not always easy, but there are also a lot of benefits and sometimes you don't always get what you want, even the entitled DILs of DCUM. Sometimes, acting like an adult is required in life and frankly makes life better. I really love my ILs, and yes, long visits aren't always easy, but the benefits are worth the minor inconvenience.

I am always shocked at just how strained and distant families on DCUM are. No guests for longer than a weekend? How do you keep close to distant relatives who want to visit, and who might not be able to afford hotel rooms? I genuinely don't think people on DCUM understand how to have close family relationships. It's certainly nothing to model or aspire to.

What? Where do you see anything about what the DIL is doing, other than encouraging her ILs to help themselves and retiring to her room in the evening when the children do? That sounds very gracious to me.

OP said she's being cold and will barely talk to her. That's petulant and rude.

Gee, you think maybe that’s in reaction to OP being overbearing and annoying?

Perhaps it is. But regardless, it's still petulant and rude behavior from a host. And honestly, I haven't read too much from OP that makes me think she's being a bad guest; after all, she was invited to stay, and she's offering to help. What I see here is a sulky, whiny DIL who is being rude.

So basically Op is being rude when she is not actively doting on her in-laws. Gotcha. Hotel for you pp. You are not the wonderful guest that you seem to think that you are.

If you can't tell the difference between being cold, rude, and petulant (which is what OP described), and graciously retiring from hosting to a bedroom for alone time (which is not what OP described), you are obviously one of the socially stunted women with miserable families that haunt this site. I mean, whatever, continue in your strained, distant family life. Family life on this website is such a trainwreck.

Who pissed in your cheerios? You seem to be posting on multiple threads judging people. Are you a bitter elder who can't understand why people are burned out from your behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

OP's DIL is being a petulant drama queen. Of course having guests for long periods of time is not always easy, but there are also a lot of benefits and sometimes you don't always get what you want, even the entitled DILs of DCUM. Sometimes, acting like an adult is required in life and frankly makes life better. I really love my ILs, and yes, long visits aren't always easy, but the benefits are worth the minor inconvenience.

I am always shocked at just how strained and distant families on DCUM are. No guests for longer than a weekend? How do you keep close to distant relatives who want to visit, and who might not be able to afford hotel rooms? I genuinely don't think people on DCUM understand how to have close family relationships. It's certainly nothing to model or aspire to.

What? Where do you see anything about what the DIL is doing, other than encouraging her ILs to help themselves and retiring to her room in the evening when the children do? That sounds very gracious to me.

OP said she's being cold and will barely talk to her. That's petulant and rude.

Gee, you think maybe that’s in reaction to OP being overbearing and annoying?

Perhaps it is. But regardless, it's still petulant and rude behavior from a host. And honestly, I haven't read too much from OP that makes me think she's being a bad guest; after all, she was invited to stay, and she's offering to help. What I see here is a sulky, whiny DIL who is being rude.

So basically Op is being rude when she is not actively doting on her in-laws. Gotcha. Hotel for you pp. You are not the wonderful guest that you seem to think that you are.

If you can't tell the difference between being cold, rude, and petulant (which is what OP described), and graciously retiring from hosting to a bedroom for alone time (which is not what OP described), you are obviously one of the socially stunted women with miserable families that haunt this site. I mean, whatever, continue in your strained, distant family life. Family life on this website is such a trainwreck.

Who pissed in your cheerios? You seem to be posting on multiple threads judging people. Are you a bitter elder who can't understand why people are burned out from your behavior.

She'll be the loudmouth old biddy in the nursing home bemoaning the fact that her ungrateful children never visit her. Waaaah! And she'll really be set off when she sees the old people whose families are visiting them and giving them lots attention.

[Anonymous]

OP seems socially stunted if she can’t understand that she’s overstayed her welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop offering, start doing!

She's not going to say, "sure, clean the kitchen." So just do it.

But do it HER way. And only if you can put everything where it belongs without asking her a million questions.

Good grief, you two are already MILs from hell or well on your way. STOP TREATING ADULTS LIKE CHILDREN. You don't get to over-ride an adult in her own house. If she says she doesn't want help in the kitchen, don't you dare start cleaning it anyway.

+1

I have chased my MIL out of the kitchen before when she tried “helping”.

Stay out of her way. Get out of the house. Don’t stay so long next time.

[Anonymous]

OP, how long are you scheduled to stay? Perhaps in the future you can visit more frequently but only stay 3 nights max rather than visiting less frequently but staying a week or longer. My neighbor’s ILs and parents fly in for special events (grandkids’ Birthdays, Easter, T’giving etc) but only stay 2-3 nights. It works for everybody involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

It can be longer, sometimes, if you live very far away. Otherwise, take more routine, but short visits. Yes 3 days is a good guide, even for family. Make sure you instill in your son that it's important that HE do the heavy lifting of hosting and also visiting you.

[Anonymous]

OP is long gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

OP's DIL is being a petulant drama queen. Of course having guests for long periods of time is not always easy, but there are also a lot of benefits and sometimes you don't always get what you want, even the entitled DILs of DCUM. Sometimes, acting like an adult is required in life and frankly makes life better. I really love my ILs, and yes, long visits aren't always easy, but the benefits are worth the minor inconvenience.

I am always shocked at just how strained and distant families on DCUM are. No guests for longer than a weekend? How do you keep close to distant relatives who want to visit, and who might not be able to afford hotel rooms? I genuinely don't think people on DCUM understand how to have close family relationships. It's certainly nothing to model or aspire to.

What? Where do you see anything about what the DIL is doing, other than encouraging her ILs to help themselves and retiring to her room in the evening when the children do? That sounds very gracious to me.

OP said she's being cold and will barely talk to her. That's petulant and rude.

Gee, you think maybe that’s in reaction to OP being overbearing and annoying?

Perhaps it is. But regardless, it's still petulant and rude behavior from a host. And honestly, I haven't read too much from OP that makes me think she's being a bad guest; after all, she was invited to stay, and she's offering to help. What I see here is a sulky, whiny DIL who is being rude.

What I see here is an OP who told her side of the story, then ran away when people were like yeah, that's too long. Hmm.

You see OP's perception of her DIL, not the two-sided reality.