I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

I like long visits with family but my family actually pitches in and doesn’t expect to be served coffee.

Exactly. Family visits can be longer if the visitors don’t expect to be waited on but actually become contributors in the house. The worst is when houseguests come to stay to be catered to rather than to actually spend time with you.

[Anonymous]

This has gotta be the MIL who posted a few weeks ago about being “relegated” to bringing wine and not being allowed to help her DIL.

[Anonymous]

Waaaaayyyyy toooo long. Guests are like fish. After 3 days they start to stink.

7-8 nights is a nightmare ling time to stay in someone’s house, even relatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

I like long visits with family but my family actually pitches in and doesn’t expect to be served coffee.

Exactly. Family visits can be longer if the visitors don’t expect to be waited on but actually become contributors in the house. The worst is when houseguests come to stay to be catered to rather than to actually spend time with you.

Stay in a hotel part of the visit. Everyone needs a break from that togetherness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, stay with them 3 days ... spend some days in town after staying at a hotel w/more brief visiting. There are lots of ways to do it. Just don't stay for a week+ AT THEIR HOUSE

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

She said her DIL seems sick of her and over everything. Clearly something needs to change, and people her are gracious enough to give advice. If she refuses to read social cues and doesn't use any of this advice it does not bode well for future visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

I like long visits with family but my family actually pitches in and doesn’t expect to be served coffee.

This reminds me of my former sister in law who didn't have kids and expected to be served coffee and waited on hand and foot. I was glad when she and my BIL got divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

I like long visits with family but my family actually pitches in and doesn’t expect to be served coffee.

This reminds me of my former sister in law who didn't have kids and expected to be served coffee and waited on hand and foot. I was glad when she and my BIL got divorced.

OMG I have a sister just like this. She thinks if you are married with kids, you have an easy life with all these others to cater to you. She thinks single life is the hardest and people should wait on her hand and foot. She never hosts things, but is livid if she isn't invited to friends or family for Thanksgiving, etc. She feels the gift is she came to your event and you owe her for coming. She has no clue how much work it is to anything because she is always the martyr victim guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

OP's DIL is being a petulant drama queen. Of course having guests for long periods of time is not always easy, but there are also a lot of benefits and sometimes you don't always get what you want, even the entitled DILs of DCUM. Sometimes, acting like an adult is required in life and frankly makes life better. I really love my ILs, and yes, long visits aren't always easy, but the benefits are worth the minor inconvenience.

I am always shocked at just how strained and distant families on DCUM are. No guests for longer than a weekend? How do you keep close to distant relatives who want to visit, and who might not be able to afford hotel rooms? I genuinely don't think people on DCUM understand how to have close family relationships. It's certainly nothing to model or aspire to.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she just wants a break and to watch her shows on tv? She visited with you all day. Hang out with your son after the kids go to bed. Also, make your own coffee. It sounds like she doesn’t want to keep fawning over you and just wants you to make your own coffee/breakfast.

[Anonymous]

I love my family and visit my parents ( with kids) for a week at a time. I have done a week at the beach with me ex MIL. A week really is the max op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

OP's DIL is being a petulant drama queen. Of course having guests for long periods of time is not always easy, but there are also a lot of benefits and sometimes you don't always get what you want, even the entitled DILs of DCUM. Sometimes, acting like an adult is required in life and frankly makes life better. I really love my ILs, and yes, long visits aren't always easy, but the benefits are worth the minor inconvenience.

I am always shocked at just how strained and distant families on DCUM are. No guests for longer than a weekend? How do you keep close to distant relatives who want to visit, and who might not be able to afford hotel rooms? I genuinely don't think people on DCUM understand how to have close family relationships. It's certainly nothing to model or aspire to.

Well, this is where you realize that we are not all "the same". For you, having the in-laws pitching fort in your guest room for 3 weeks at a time is a minor inconvenience for others that would be a major source of stress. Op's feelings matter, too, especially in her own home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I feel sad reading these messages. Family should only visit for three days? I have a 10-year-old, and when I think that down the road I should only visit for three days at a time, I feel sad. My in-laws have stayed with us for a week, a couple weeks, even a couple months. Sure it can be a strain, but we should figure out ways to make longer visits than 3 days possible.

OP, it does sound like your DIL may be feeling spent from the holidays. That’s not anything to do specifically with you.

Remember DCUM is full of miserable people who largely hate their families. It's good for entertainment, but don't take it seriously. These are not the people to model.

Nope. I have an incredibly close immediate and extended family. A lot of that is because people aren’t afraid to voice they’ve had enough. Everyone reads clues well also. Nobody imposes. We genuinely love each other’s company. However, guests underfoot for longer than a long weekend —ugh.

OP's DIL is being a petulant drama queen. Of course having guests for long periods of time is not always easy, but there are also a lot of benefits and sometimes you don't always get what you want, even the entitled DILs of DCUM. Sometimes, acting like an adult is required in life and frankly makes life better. I really love my ILs, and yes, long visits aren't always easy, but the benefits are worth the minor inconvenience.

I am always shocked at just how strained and distant families on DCUM are. No guests for longer than a weekend? How do you keep close to distant relatives who want to visit, and who might not be able to afford hotel rooms? I genuinely don't think people on DCUM understand how to have close family relationships. It's certainly nothing to model or aspire to.

OK B&omer!