FTM with Unsupportive Family

[Anonymous]

WOW! What is with the haters in this thread?
First OP moves, then is on bed rest, then has a premature baby. A full load of bad times. But no one should help her and she should get a cleaning service?
Also the deductibles in all that hospital time is a money suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much cleaning needs to done,!? Seriously, do you vacuum every single day or something? 1x/week, right? Dishes go in dishwasher- push 1 button. Sane with laundry. Cooking - op or DJ cant possibly cook? Order out? Crock pot chicken? Take 20 minutes to bake salmon?For 2 grown capable adults? Are you people not able to function with a newborn in the house? So much so, you have to ask people to "help" you . Yea, I get it -with babies/newborns nursing 24/7, diapers, holding them, tapping their butts in hopesthey fall asleep on your shoulder, sleep deprived, but seriously between Op and the dH you cant make this work?
If you want support from family, take a different approach- "Mom, baby seems to be less fussy in the morning. Do you want to come over and take her on a walk? And if you dont mind putting her down for a nap after that would be great. I wanted to run to the store to pick up salad for dinner and catch a few minutes of a nap myself"....works much better than "mom, we are admittedly sloppy. I'm too busy holding the baby and tired to do anything about it. Would you mind cleaning up after me and dh? Maybe, just maybe, you can hold your grandchild, but I'll have to think about it".

OP here to (hopefully) educate you.

Hubby works 6.5 days a week—has to bring work home on weekends/go into the office (as do i) and he has a second gig. Works 12+ hour days and we had just moved into a 4 story row house in the city a month before I was placed on bedrest. And my first trimester was rough...I don’t know anyone who completely unpacks their home in a month? With only one partner who’s able to do a brunt of the work but you sound like the exception. Good for you!!

Typical day when we were in the NICU:

Wake @ 4 am
Drive to/arrive at hospital by 5 am
Pumped in car en route to hospital to have fresh milk in hand for baby
Hubby took a bus to work @ 7 am during shift change
Mom pumped during shift change and ate breakfast that was packed at 4 am
Back in NICU for 8 am rounds and to cuddle baby/take temps, change diaper
Sometimes docs don’t get to the “healthier” babies until 11 am. Mom sat in one spot for 3 hours.
Pumped at bedside for nurses to store milk.
Hubby arrives at 6 pm. We break for dinner together at 7.
Return at 8 pm and stayed until 10/11pm
Drove home to hit reset again at 4 am

I pumped 8x+ per day.

This just about my every day routine except when I’d pushed my body too far and would be forced to stay home and rest for a few hours.

Now, when would we be making all of this amazing food and sitting around long enough to clean anything in our new home?! ?

You had a whole month prior to bedrest to unpack. Your husband could have been cleaning while you were on bedrest. It's bizarre that you hold your mom to a higher standard than yourself and your husband, who lives with you, and apparently does no housework. Sounds like you need to work on your time management. At the end of the day, a baby and your home, are your responsibility.

sometimes I wonder what a woman would have to be facing to be deserving of support in the eyes of people like you. would she literally have to be in the ICU?

Emotional supoort, yes. Free labor, er, no.

ok well, I'm glad I'm not your friend or relative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved into my home 16 years ago. Some things never got unpacked. Some of you are vile people. OP, go away from here ASAP.

OP here. There aren’t a lot of things that get under my skin, hence why I could post something like this on this forum. The strangely obsessed poster (who appears to be the outlier in this thread) sounds eerily like my mother...Mom—is it you?! Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WOW! What is with the haters in this thread?
First OP moves, then is on bed rest, then has a premature baby. A full load of bad times. But no one should help her and she should get a cleaning service?
Also the deductibles in all that hospital time is a money suck.

OP here. People are crazy. It’s the internet, I didn’t expect much, but I do appreciate the helpful feedback. The “wacko poster” is making a lot of assumptions about what my husband and I can comfortably afford. I would imagine if they were in the same situation, there’d be more empathy. High risk pregnancies are nothing to take lightly. I commend other families who have made it work and I couldn’t imagine making it through the last year without so many wonderful family and friends. Sounds like Wacko Poster trolls Internet forums to spew hate as a hobby because they don’t have a full life. They’ve spent lots of time on this thread, though it has nothing to do with their life.

[Anonymous]

OP I am sorry. Your family sucks. We go down with the stomach flu and my mom is over cleaning my house! PPs suggesting you shouldn’t have asked your mom for domestic help are nuts. That would have been the most helpful thing in your situation. I hope it gets better. Avoid them for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved into my home 16 years ago. Some things never got unpacked. Some of you are vile people. OP, go away from here ASAP.

OP here. There aren’t a lot of things that get under my skin, hence why I could post something like this on this forum. The strangely obsessed poster (who appears to be the outlier in this thread) sounds eerily like my mother...Mom—is it you?! Lol

Glad you are keeping your equilibrium.

She is obsessed, and I'm probably taking her for multiple people.

Good luck with all the recovery...

and as for the unpacking: get some assistance making one room calm and nice. Then ^$#& the rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW! What is with the haters in this thread?
First OP moves, then is on bed rest, then has a premature baby. A full load of bad times. But no one should help her and she should get a cleaning service?
Also the deductibles in all that hospital time is a money suck.

OP here. People are crazy. It’s the internet, I didn’t expect much, but I do appreciate the helpful feedback. The “wacko poster” is making a lot of assumptions about what my husband and I can comfortably afford. I would imagine if they were in the same situation, there’d be more empathy. High risk pregnancies are nothing to take lightly. I commend other families who have made it work and I couldn’t imagine making it through the last year without so many wonderful family and friends. Sounds like Wacko Poster trolls Internet forums to spew hate as a hobby because they don’t have a full life. They’ve spent lots of time on this thread, though it has nothing to do with their life.

You are one of those crazy people. You won't even allow family to take pictures of your baby because she's hooked up to wires? How shallow and selfish are you? There's no reason to be ashamed she was in the NICU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW! What is with the haters in this thread?
First OP moves, then is on bed rest, then has a premature baby. A full load of bad times. But no one should help her and she should get a cleaning service?
Also the deductibles in all that hospital time is a money suck.

OP here. People are crazy. It’s the internet, I didn’t expect much, but I do appreciate the helpful feedback. The “wacko poster” is making a lot of assumptions about what my husband and I can comfortably afford. I would imagine if they were in the same situation, there’d be more empathy. High risk pregnancies are nothing to take lightly. I commend other families who have made it work and I couldn’t imagine making it through the last year without so many wonderful family and friends. Sounds like Wacko Poster trolls Internet forums to spew hate as a hobby because they don’t have a full life. They’ve spent lots of time on this thread, though it has nothing to do with their life.

You are one of those crazy people. You won't even allow family to take pictures of your baby because she's hooked up to wires? How shallow and selfish are you? There's no reason to be ashamed she was in the NICU.

OP here. Hey wacko poster! Welcome back. Surprised to see you back again, making more inaccurate assumptions. You clearly don’t know much about the NICU experience from a first hand perspective. I wish you well. Thanks for investing so much time on this thread and have a wonderful weekend!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW! What is with the haters in this thread?
First OP moves, then is on bed rest, then has a premature baby. A full load of bad times. But no one should help her and she should get a cleaning service?
Also the deductibles in all that hospital time is a money suck.

OP here. People are crazy. It’s the internet, I didn’t expect much, but I do appreciate the helpful feedback. The “wacko poster” is making a lot of assumptions about what my husband and I can comfortably afford. I would imagine if they were in the same situation, there’d be more empathy. High risk pregnancies are nothing to take lightly. I commend other families who have made it work and I couldn’t imagine making it through the last year without so many wonderful family and friends. Sounds like Wacko Poster trolls Internet forums to spew hate as a hobby because they don’t have a full life. They’ve spent lots of time on this thread, though it has nothing to do with their life.

You are one of those crazy people. You won't even allow family to take pictures of your baby because she's hooked up to wires? How shallow and selfish are you? There's no reason to be ashamed she was in the NICU.

You really are a gross, stupid person. You must lead a sad life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW! What is with the haters in this thread?
First OP moves, then is on bed rest, then has a premature baby. A full load of bad times. But no one should help her and she should get a cleaning service?
Also the deductibles in all that hospital time is a money suck.

OP here. People are crazy. It’s the internet, I didn’t expect much, but I do appreciate the helpful feedback. The “wacko poster” is making a lot of assumptions about what my husband and I can comfortably afford. I would imagine if they were in the same situation, there’d be more empathy. High risk pregnancies are nothing to take lightly. I commend other families who have made it work and I couldn’t imagine making it through the last year without so many wonderful family and friends. Sounds like Wacko Poster trolls Internet forums to spew hate as a hobby because they don’t have a full life. They’ve spent lots of time on this thread, though it has nothing to do with their life.

You are one of those crazy people. You won't even allow family to take pictures of your baby because she's hooked up to wires? How shallow and selfish are you? There's no reason to be ashamed she was in the NICU.

OP here. Hey wacko poster! Welcome back. Surprised to see you back again, making more inaccurate assumptions. You clearly don’t know much about the NICU experience from a first hand perspective. I wish you well. Thanks for investing so much time on this thread and have a wonderful weekend!

OP have you read up on BPD? I think it would explain so much to you about your mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW! What is with the haters in this thread?
First OP moves, then is on bed rest, then has a premature baby. A full load of bad times. But no one should help her and she should get a cleaning service?
Also the deductibles in all that hospital time is a money suck.

OP here. People are crazy. It’s the internet, I didn’t expect much, but I do appreciate the helpful feedback. The “wacko poster” is making a lot of assumptions about what my husband and I can comfortably afford. I would imagine if they were in the same situation, there’d be more empathy. High risk pregnancies are nothing to take lightly. I commend other families who have made it work and I couldn’t imagine making it through the last year without so many wonderful family and friends. Sounds like Wacko Poster trolls Internet forums to spew hate as a hobby because they don’t have a full life. They’ve spent lots of time on this thread, though it has nothing to do with their life.

You are one of those crazy people. You won't even allow family to take pictures of your baby because she's hooked up to wires? How shallow and selfish are you? There's no reason to be ashamed she was in the NICU.

OP here. Hey wacko poster! Welcome back. Surprised to see you back again, making more inaccurate assumptions. You clearly don’t know much about the NICU experience from a first hand perspective. I wish you well. Thanks for investing so much time on this thread and have a wonderful weekend!

Not that it matters, but I've actually had 3 children in the NICU, and am familiar with the every 2 hours around the clock back and forth visit from home to hospital. So, yes, I find it strange and shallow that you denied your mom photos, as well as all the other things you've complained about. Find a good therapist, it would serve you well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW! What is with the haters in this thread?
First OP moves, then is on bed rest, then has a premature baby. A full load of bad times. But no one should help her and she should get a cleaning service?
Also the deductibles in all that hospital time is a money suck.

OP here. People are crazy. It’s the internet, I didn’t expect much, but I do appreciate the helpful feedback. The “wacko poster” is making a lot of assumptions about what my husband and I can comfortably afford. I would imagine if they were in the same situation, there’d be more empathy. High risk pregnancies are nothing to take lightly. I commend other families who have made it work and I couldn’t imagine making it through the last year without so many wonderful family and friends. Sounds like Wacko Poster trolls Internet forums to spew hate as a hobby because they don’t have a full life. They’ve spent lots of time on this thread, though it has nothing to do with their life.

You are one of those crazy people. You won't even allow family to take pictures of your baby because she's hooked up to wires? How shallow and selfish are you? There's no reason to be ashamed she was in the NICU.

OP here. Hey wacko poster! Welcome back. Surprised to see you back again, making more inaccurate assumptions. You clearly don’t know much about the NICU experience from a first hand perspective. I wish you well. Thanks for investing so much time on this thread and have a wonderful weekend!

Not that it matters, but I've actually had 3 children in the NICU, and am familiar with the every 2 hours around the clock back and forth visit from home to hospital. So, yes, I find it strange and shallow that you denied your mom photos, as well as all the other things you've complained about. Find a good therapist, it would serve you well.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW! What is with the haters in this thread?
First OP moves, then is on bed rest, then has a premature baby. A full load of bad times. But no one should help her and she should get a cleaning service?
Also the deductibles in all that hospital time is a money suck.

OP here. People are crazy. It’s the internet, I didn’t expect much, but I do appreciate the helpful feedback. The “wacko poster” is making a lot of assumptions about what my husband and I can comfortably afford. I would imagine if they were in the same situation, there’d be more empathy. High risk pregnancies are nothing to take lightly. I commend other families who have made it work and I couldn’t imagine making it through the last year without so many wonderful family and friends. Sounds like Wacko Poster trolls Internet forums to spew hate as a hobby because they don’t have a full life. They’ve spent lots of time on this thread, though it has nothing to do with their life.

You are one of those crazy people. You won't even allow family to take pictures of your baby because she's hooked up to wires? How shallow and selfish are you? There's no reason to be ashamed she was in the NICU.

OP here. Hey wacko poster! Welcome back. Surprised to see you back again, making more inaccurate assumptions. You clearly don’t know much about the NICU experience from a first hand perspective. I wish you well. Thanks for investing so much time on this thread and have a wonderful weekend!

Not that it matters, but I've actually had 3 children in the NICU, and am familiar with the every 2 hours around the clock back and forth visit from home to hospital. So, yes, I find it strange and shallow that you denied your mom photos, as well as all the other things you've complained about. Find a good therapist, it would serve you well.

OP revealed her true colors in her terrible responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW! What is with the haters in this thread?
First OP moves, then is on bed rest, then has a premature baby. A full load of bad times. But no one should help her and she should get a cleaning service?
Also the deductibles in all that hospital time is a money suck.

OP here. People are crazy. It’s the internet, I didn’t expect much, but I do appreciate the helpful feedback. The “wacko poster” is making a lot of assumptions about what my husband and I can comfortably afford. I would imagine if they were in the same situation, there’d be more empathy. High risk pregnancies are nothing to take lightly. I commend other families who have made it work and I couldn’t imagine making it through the last year without so many wonderful family and friends. Sounds like Wacko Poster trolls Internet forums to spew hate as a hobby because they don’t have a full life. They’ve spent lots of time on this thread, though it has nothing to do with their life.

You are one of those crazy people. You won't even allow family to take pictures of your baby because she's hooked up to wires? How shallow and selfish are you? There's no reason to be ashamed she was in the NICU.

OP here. Hey wacko poster! Welcome back. Surprised to see you back again, making more inaccurate assumptions. You clearly don’t know much about the NICU experience from a first hand perspective. I wish you well. Thanks for investing so much time on this thread and have a wonderful weekend!

Not that it matters, but I've actually had 3 children in the NICU, and am familiar with the every 2 hours around the clock back and forth visit from home to hospital. So, yes, I find it strange and shallow that you denied your mom photos, as well as all the other things you've complained about. Find a good therapist, it would serve you well.

OP revealed her true colors in her terrible responses.

You and your multiple personalities need to up your medication and seek a new therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW! What is with the haters in this thread?
First OP moves, then is on bed rest, then has a premature baby. A full load of bad times. But no one should help her and she should get a cleaning service?
Also the deductibles in all that hospital time is a money suck.

OP here. People are crazy. It’s the internet, I didn’t expect much, but I do appreciate the helpful feedback. The “wacko poster” is making a lot of assumptions about what my husband and I can comfortably afford. I would imagine if they were in the same situation, there’d be more empathy. High risk pregnancies are nothing to take lightly. I commend other families who have made it work and I couldn’t imagine making it through the last year without so many wonderful family and friends. Sounds like Wacko Poster trolls Internet forums to spew hate as a hobby because they don’t have a full life. They’ve spent lots of time on this thread, though it has nothing to do with their life.

You are one of those crazy people. You won't even allow family to take pictures of your baby because she's hooked up to wires? How shallow and selfish are you? There's no reason to be ashamed she was in the NICU.

OP here. Hey wacko poster! Welcome back. Surprised to see you back again, making more inaccurate assumptions. You clearly don’t know much about the NICU experience from a first hand perspective. I wish you well. Thanks for investing so much time on this thread and have a wonderful weekend!

Not that it matters, but I've actually had 3 children in the NICU, and am familiar with the every 2 hours around the clock back and forth visit from home to hospital. So, yes, I find it strange and shallow that you denied your mom photos, as well as all the other things you've complained about. Find a good therapist, it would serve you well.

Take your own advice and stop trolling forums.