Widower with three kids - am I crazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey we need an update!

OP here! I can't believe I just logged on but here is the update. There is nothing to report since our date on Saturday except texts and a couple of very nice calls. He really wants to spend time with me and now we are just working on how and when but I did invite him to my place for dinner this weekend. He's sure he will find a sitter but he said it's the first weekend sitter he's had to arrange. I've never dated a guy with kids before so I guess that this is something I will need to get use to but I think he's worth it. We are very much in agreement that we need to move slowly as it relates to his children getting to know me. We also have to deal with the fact that are companies do business together and that just adds another level of complexity. It's never easy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey we need an update!

OP here! I can't believe I just logged on but here is the update. There is nothing to report since our date on Saturday except texts and a couple of very nice calls. He really wants to spend time with me and now we are just working on how and when but I did invite him to my place for dinner this weekend. He's sure he will find a sitter but he said it's the first weekend sitter he's had to arrange. I've never dated a guy with kids before so I guess that this is something I will need to get use to but I think he's worth it. We are very much in agreement that we need to move slowly as it relates to his children getting to know me. We also have to deal with the fact that are companies do business together and that just adds another level of complexity. It's never easy!

I hope he has a big wang. That would really be the icing on cake, so to speak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey we need an update!

OP here! I can't believe I just logged on but here is the update. There is nothing to report since our date on Saturday except texts and a couple of very nice calls. He really wants to spend time with me and now we are just working on how and when but I did invite him to my place for dinner this weekend. He's sure he will find a sitter but he said it's the first weekend sitter he's had to arrange. I've never dated a guy with kids before so I guess that this is something I will need to get use to but I think he's worth it. We are very much in agreement that we need to move slowly as it relates to his children getting to know me. We also have to deal with the fact that are companies do business together and that just adds another level of complexity. It's never easy!

I hope he has a big wang. That would really be the icing on cake, so to speak.

+1
We need an update when Mr. Happy makes an appearance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a Hallmark movie plot. Were there pumpkins involved? And..he is a widower, not a divorced guy which is always Hallmark. Oh yeah, the algorithm is right, so go for it, or send them the screenplay.

Haha, totally!! Pumpkins and fall festivals. OP bakes delicious fall treats with the kids for their bake sale, and they win hands-down; those kids really want IP and their dad to be together. The handsome widower gently wipes away frosting from OP’s cheek. They are about to kiss, but kids come in at that exact moment so it has to wait. They finally kiss, and happily ever after. yeah, I’ve watched one too many!!

OP, I’d go for it. It sounds like he’s a great guy and you feel a strong connection. Just take it one day at a time. My mom was divorced with three kids when she met my stepdad, who had no kids. I’m so grateful he took us on. They were married for 30+ years when he passed away, and I miss him every.single.day.

This makes me excited for the ridiculous hallmark christmas movies to start every weekend!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to love the kids as well as him to make this work. He would have to respect that you are now their mom. Blended family next door is breaking up because dad overrides his new wife's perfectly reasonable household rules. Shoes off, wash hands, no jumping on sofa.

Yup this. I married into a similar situation OP. I loved the man. I loved the kids. But I was always relegated to second place. I don’t mean trivial things like Valentines dates vs school plays. Or stuff like sex being interrupted by a nightmare or sick kid. No I mean stuff like pp mentioned , I mean that when my aunt who raised me became ill and passed away it was an actual argument if he would go to the funeral and support me or skip it for the first day of school.

Yes his kids are important but this doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like an afterthought.

Looking back I believed I went to fast with my ex because I was late 30s .

This could be a great thing, but take your time and really get to know him and what he expects your role to be.

This is typical of any household with kids, not just step kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, no, I don't think you should do it.

First, at 38 you still have a chance to find and marry someone without kids. All things equal, a guy without kids is better than the one with kids.

Second, and this is particularly important, you are at a point where if you want a bio child, you'll need to put a high priority on it due to your age. A guy with 3 kids may not want a #4, and if he does, it won't be for a looooooong time. Do not pass a chance at having children for anything; nothing is THAT important. If you do, eventually time will come when you think, "I gave up having kids for THIS?"

Widowers with three children are for women who have no other options at all.

So negative. Guess what, she may actually just fall in love with the guy.'Baggage" and all.

[Anonymous]

Good for you OP, follow your heart and see where it leads

[Anonymous]

My grandfather was a widower with 12 kids when he met my grandmother. His youngest was 6 months. She helped raising them and had a happy life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey we need an update!

OP here! I can't believe I just logged on but here is the update. There is nothing to report since our date on Saturday except texts and a couple of very nice calls. He really wants to spend time with me and now we are just working on how and when but I did invite him to my place for dinner this weekend. He's sure he will find a sitter but he said it's the first weekend sitter he's had to arrange. I've never dated a guy with kids before so I guess that this is something I will need to get use to but I think he's worth it. We are very much in agreement that we need to move slowly as it relates to his children getting to know me. We also have to deal with the fact that are companies do business together and that just adds another level of complexity. It's never easy!

There should be no problem because your companies do business together unless you two work together directly. If so, at some point you'd need to let your boss know because that would be a conflict that could both of you at risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for you OP, follow your heart and see where it leads

+1

Signed,
Another Single 38 yr old

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure I'd have the courage to date a guy with 3 kids as a good relationship with a single guy is difficult to achieve. Everything in that relationship becomes incredibly difficult which means that more things can go wrong. What OP has going for her is that she has known him for a few years so it's not a sudden infatuation with some good looking guy and then discover he has three kids. And just finding time to be alone together will be a big hurdle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey we need an update!

OP here! I can't believe I just logged on but here is the update. There is nothing to report since our date on Saturday except texts and a couple of very nice calls. He really wants to spend time with me and now we are just working on how and when but I did invite him to my place for dinner this weekend. He's sure he will find a sitter but he said it's the first weekend sitter he's had to arrange. I've never dated a guy with kids before so I guess that this is something I will need to get use to but I think he's worth it. We are very much in agreement that we need to move slowly as it relates to his children getting to know me. We also have to deal with the fact that are companies do business together and that just adds another level of complexity. It's never easy!

I hope he has a big wang. That would really be the icing on cake, so to speak.

Since she invited him to dinner at her place you can be pretty sure her intent is to check the icing on the cake. That must be the dessert she has planned. lol kidding aside, good luck OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny and for me this would be great. I never married and don't have kids, and my goal is to meet a nice DILF!

[b]


Why the eye roll??? Sounds like a perfect situation to me! It's not like nanny is looking for a married DILF!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to love the kids as well as him to make this work. He would have to respect that you are now their mom. Blended family next door is breaking up because dad overrides his new wife's perfectly reasonable household rules. Shoes off, wash hands, no jumping on sofa.

Yup this. I married into a similar situation OP. I loved the man. I loved the kids. But I was always relegated to second place. I don’t mean trivial things like Valentines dates vs school plays. Or stuff like sex being interrupted by a nightmare or sick kid. No I mean stuff like pp mentioned , I mean that when my aunt who raised me became ill and passed away it was an actual argument if he would go to the funeral and support me or skip it for the first day of school.

Yes his kids are important but this doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like an afterthought.

Looking back I believed I went to fast with my ex because I was late 30s .

This could be a great thing, but take your time and really get to know him and what he expects your role to be.

[b]


Maybe I'm weird but I think the first day of school is more important that your aunt's funeral. I don't have kids but I work with them. I assume you had other family at the funeral?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A widower sounds 100% better than a divorced guy. You're never dealing with an ex wife.

I was just thinking the same thing! I am a stepmother to 2 girls, dealing with the 2 girls is far easier than dealing with their mother.