Men: why do women like the bad boys so much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends and I were talking about this recently. I don't go for "bad boys" - never have - but I have on occasion ended up dating them. It's not always easy to tell who's good and who's bad right away. They are generally all nice when they are trying to impress you, and often the bad boys are less nervous and more confident, which can be attractive.

I like "nice" people, but quite honestly, when I'm looking to date someone, "nice" isn't the first adjective I'm looking for. Lots of people are nice or seem nice, and just being nice (to my face) doesn't mean I'll have anything in common with you. I want you to be smart, interesting and have a good sense of humor.

A lot of guys who call themselves "nice" are actually passive aggressive and have anger that will come out if they don't get what they think they deserve. Every woman I know has dated one of those guys. Some guys feel entitled to their own "hot girl" like in the movies. In real life, everyone doesn't just magically get their own "hot girl".

If you can, watch how a guy treats other guys who are smaller and/or lower on the social pecking order. That'll tell you most of what you need to know about whether a guy is legitimately kind or just putting on a show.

I actually look at how they treat older women, hotel maids, service workers, etc. Most men will be nice and kind to pretty young baristas but How they treat older, invisible women really shows what kind of person they are.

Yes!!!! This. And some of the worst misogynistis will be perfectly kind to other men regardless of their status, but they really dislike women and that comes out when they have nothing to sexually gain from women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman who has always been attracted to the bad boy, let me explain.

I'm the "good girl". I get good grades, follow the rules, wear modest classic clothing. But I'm actually a thrill seeker deep down. I like excitement and adventure. It's why I've gone bungee jumping and skydiving and white water rafting. It's why I've traveled solo as a young woman to places young women don't normally go alone.

The bad boys bring that rush of the unknown. They take risks. They don't give a **** what society thinks of them. They chase adventure. They are, in a word, exciting. They also tend to be more confident, which is a plus.

I was once accused of ignoring a nice guy in favor of a bad boy. I was a junior in college, had big plans for leaving the area after graduation, so had no interest whatsoever in a long term relationship. As it turned out, two guys asked me on a date at about the same time.

First guy - nice guy - picked me up in a very practical sedan and took me to a nice restaurant (nice by college standards, anyway - nothing crazy fancy). We had a pleasant conversation, of which I don't remember a single topic.

Second guy took me out a few days later. He picked me up on a motorcycle. Took me to a dark dive place with loud music and small booths. We traded stories about our adventures and our wish lists for future adventures. Then took me to some music club he knew of, not marked, had to ask for a name at the door in order to be let in. I was totally out of my element. And I love being out of my element. It's thrilling. Guess which guy got laid?

Bad boy and I dated, not exclusively, for a few months. I knew from the beginning it wouldn't last. I didn't care. I wasn't looking for anything lasting. And when it ended, there was another bad boy lined up behind him.

Nice guy went on to find a nice girl, they settled down and got married. I'm happy for him, but that was so not me ... Or at least not what I was looking for then. I eventually settled down too and am happily married to a nice guy who also has a strong sense of adventure - although I'm usually the one pushing it! And I can't pretend the bad boys don't still occasionally catch my eye ... Not that I would do anything about it!

See, not to be a bitch, but I truly think many of the very mousy girls want the "bad boy". Just like you'll see the mousiest, lamest dudes lusting over girls with tatoos and piercings. Obviously people can have all kinds of taste- but as a rule, I think there's something to be said for "I am shy/quiet/insecure and I want this person who is bold and loud."

I am a "bad girl" and I have guys lusting over me nonstop. Falling in love. It's ridiculous, how often it happens.

And, like many "bad boys", you wouldn't necessarily know I was bad until you talked to me, and saw how I carry myself, and saw my attitude. Because that's what it's really about- attitude, energy. People are attracted to those with an excess of life force, energy, people who are bold and out there and the center of attention.

What annoys me is this "women are attracted to bad boys" thing has made some guys act like total jerks, because they think what is attractive is th rudeness or rule breaking. No, what's attractive is their life force, mischeviousness, genuine spirit. And that cant be faked.

So basically stay in your lane. Try to improve yourself and become whatever you are craving in others.

Because, honestly- people on a high level want someone on a high level also. So you probably arent going to get that guy who's the rebel of the class who everyone wants- he's going to end up with a girl who gives him a run for his money. And you probably arent going to end up with that girl that's bitchy and all the guys want- she's going to end up with a "bad boy". So just give it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No 'bad boys' are on this site to answer your question firsthand

LOL! Truth. How has this not come up yet...'bad boys' definitely don't cruise women's parenting gossip sites

+10000

Not a single bad boy to be found here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are not attracted to him because he is "bad." They are attracted to his emotional intensity, power, physical fitness, etc. It's more that he gets away with being "bad" because of his other positive attributes.

If Kylo Ren was a 400 pound basement dweller with no life or personality, he would not have women talking about how he is "sexy." This is why "nice" guys who are unattractive losers can't get laid no matter how "nice" they are while handsome "bad boys" do well even when they have a bad attitude.

And women are aroused by aggressive and dominant men while nice guys turn their panties into the Sahara.

If you had any reading comprehension skills, you would have seen the above poster cited "emotional intensity, power, physical fitness". These are not the same things as aggression and dominance.

If you had any critical reasoning ability, you would have been able to understand I was saying aggression and dominance arouse women rather than trying to simply repeat "emotional intensity, power, physical fitness". I am aware they are not the same, my goal was not to repeat or affirm the post but to add a statement. It really is a pretty simple concept, yet you find it so difficult to understand you need make a snarky stupid comment. By the way " "emotional intensity, power, physical fitness" are fairly typical manifestations of aggression and dominance, they are far from mutually exclusive.

Aw, it must be so hard when all of the women you want prefer hot aggressive dominant bad boys instead of your pedantic personality and easily bruised ego.

I'm sure that there is a special lady out there whose panties will be drenched in anticipation with the opportunity to be with you!

xXxHugsxXx

+1
LOVE IT!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Woman here.

I by no means liked "bad boys" who were cheats, cruel, manipulative, or criminal. Tattoos and motorcycles and drugs are stupid - these are surface and material things and do nothing for me.

But a "bad boy" who bucks social trends by seeing past conventions, is funny, doesn't "follow rules" just because they're rules, is aggressive and ambitious? Count me in.

The thing with "good boys" (and girls) is that they are often a bit...sheepy. They put their head down and do what they are told. That's not attractive.

Exactly. That's why people like the "bad" ones. It's just a way of saying those who are full of life, full of energy, not afraid to question. Those people, male or female, will always be exciting to be around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yes!!!! This. And some of the worst misogynistis will be perfectly kind to other men regardless of their status, but they really dislike women and that comes out when they have nothing to sexually gain from women.

Disagree. The kinds of guys who treat women badly are also the kind of guys who treat dorky guys poorly as well. But, those dorky guys are invisible to women when they're being mistreated, so you probably never noticed.

[Anonymous]

Lots of different explanations from the ladies: Women don't like bad boys, they like men who treat them well. Women do like bad boys, but they like them because they're handsome -- and being good looking makes them bad. It's not handsomeness or badness, it's energy which people mistake for badness. Women do like bad boys because they're bored by stability.