Reply to Men: why do women like the bad boys so much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a woman who has always been attracted to the bad boy, let me explain.

I'm the "good girl".  I get good grades, follow the rules, wear modest classic clothing. But I'm actually a thrill seeker deep down. I like excitement and adventure. It's why I've gone bungee jumping and skydiving and white water rafting. It's why I've traveled solo as a young woman to places young women don't normally go alone.

The bad boys bring that rush of the unknown.  They take risks. They don't give a **** what society thinks of them. They chase adventure. They are, in a word, exciting.  They also tend to be more confident, which is a plus.

I was once accused of ignoring a nice guy in favor of a bad boy. I was a junior in college, had big plans for leaving the area after graduation, so had no interest whatsoever in a long term relationship. As it turned out, two guys asked me on a date at about the same time.

First guy - nice guy - picked me up in a very practical sedan and took me to a nice restaurant (nice by college standards, anyway - nothing crazy fancy). We had a pleasant conversation, of which I don't remember a single topic.

Second guy took me out a few days later. He picked me up on a motorcycle. Took me to a dark dive place with loud music and small booths.  We traded stories about our adventures and our wish lists for future adventures. Then took me to some music club he knew of, not marked, had to ask for a name at the door in order to be let in. I was totally out of my element. And I love being out of my element. It's thrilling. Guess which guy got laid?

Bad boy and I dated, not exclusively, for a few months. I knew from the beginning it wouldn't last. I didn't care. I wasn't looking for anything lasting. And when it ended, there was another bad boy lined up behind him.

Nice guy went on to find a nice girl, they settled down and got married. I'm happy for him, but that was so not me ... Or at least not what I was looking for then.  I eventually settled down too and am happily married to a nice guy who also has a strong sense of adventure - although I'm usually the one pushing it!  And I can't pretend the bad boys don't still occasionally catch my eye ... Not that I would do anything about it![/quote]

See, not to be a bitch, but I truly think many of the very mousy girls want the "bad boy".  Just like you'll see the mousiest, lamest dudes lusting over girls with tatoos and piercings.  Obviously people can have all kinds of taste- but as a rule, I think there's something to be said for "I am shy/quiet/insecure and I want this person who is bold and loud."

I am a "bad girl" and I have guys lusting over me nonstop.  Falling in love.  It's ridiculous, how often it happens.

And, like many "bad boys", you wouldn't necessarily know I was bad until you talked to me, and saw how I carry myself, and saw my attitude.  Because that's what it's really about- attitude, energy.  People are attracted to those with an excess of life force, energy, people who are bold and out there and the center of attention.

What annoys me is this "women are attracted to bad boys" thing has made some guys act like total jerks, because they think what is attractive is th rudeness or rule breaking.  No, what's attractive is their life force, mischeviousness, genuine spirit.  And that cant be faked.

So basically stay in your lane.  Try to improve yourself and become whatever you are craving in others.

Because, honestly- people on a high level want someone on a high level also.  So you probably arent going to get that guy who's the rebel of the class who everyone wants- he's going to end up with a girl who gives him a run for his money.  And you probably arent going to end up with that girl that's bitchy and all the guys want- she's going to end up with a "bad boy".  So just give it up. [/quote]

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