Why do men like good girls?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This is dumb but I laughed anyway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was single, my magic number was 12 dates before sex. And they have to be actual dates.

Any many who put up with your ridiculous demands is a loser.

He doesn't care what you think.

I'm sure he was banging other women while waiting for me. I'm the one he married.

Interesting. You don't care that he was sleeping with other women while courting you. Did you have a guy on the side, or are you just low drive (or were you self servicing)?

Why would I care? I was looking to marry, not to date ad nauseam. We run on parallel lines.

So no answer regarding your own sex life and drive?

It's irrelevant. My genitals report to me, I don't report to them. They are not allowed to make decisions for me.

So, low sex drive masquerading as superiority. Got it.

I find your sex drive comment funny - as if there is, or there should be, such an overwhelming need to have sex that it must cloud all better judgment. Sex is not a need. It's not air or food. No one dies for lack of sex. Adults have sex when they decide to have it, not when compelled by their genitals.

[Anonymous]

Also, can we get off this idea that a woman who wants to wait is playing "games" or some such nonsense? Because, sure, some might be with an arbitrary number of dates set out just for the sake of making a man jump through hoops. But, while I love sex and am pretty high drive with a kinky streak, I am pretty shy/reserved and a little socially anxious with new people (like, I'm perfectly pleasant with someone new, but they might observe me seeming nervous, and I probably am). In general, I get along with most people but only really like a small number of people and I just don't feel attraction for someone unless I know them well enough to know I like them. If we've never met before a first date, by the third date, I'm just getting to the point where maybe I can see being attracted to you. So, no, I'm not going to sleep with you at that point. Once I DO warm up to you, we will be off to the races pretty quickly. If you aren't willing to be patient enough to wait that out or, don't have the social skills to draw me out a bit, which can move things along, then, that's fine, we are incompatible and I will send you on your way.

That doesn't mean I think I'm special or that I'm being a princess. It means I know what it takes for me to fully enjoy sex with someone and I figure most good guys prefer someone who is into it rather than someone who is swallowing down nerves. I also don't think someone who wants sex soon is wrong either--we all have different comfort levels and preferences. But, everyone is entitled to them without someone making ridiculous assumptions about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, can we get off this idea that a woman who wants to wait is playing "games" or some such nonsense? Because, sure, some might be with an arbitrary number of dates set out just for the sake of making a man jump through hoops. But, while I love sex and am pretty high drive with a kinky streak, I am pretty shy/reserved and a little socially anxious with new people (like, I'm perfectly pleasant with someone new, but they might observe me seeming nervous, and I probably am). In general, I get along with most people but only really like a small number of people and I just don't feel attraction for someone unless I know them well enough to know I like them. If we've never met before a first date, by the third date, I'm just getting to the point where maybe I can see being attracted to you. So, no, I'm not going to sleep with you at that point. Once I DO warm up to you, we will be off to the races pretty quickly. If you aren't willing to be patient enough to wait that out or, don't have the social skills to draw me out a bit, which can move things along, then, that's fine, we are incompatible and I will send you on your way.

That doesn't mean I think I'm special or that I'm being a princess. It means I know what it takes for me to fully enjoy sex with someone and I figure most good guys prefer someone who is into it rather than someone who is swallowing down nerves. I also don't think someone who wants sex soon is wrong either--we all have different comfort levels and preferences. But, everyone is entitled to them without someone making ridiculous assumptions about it.

You're entitled to your preferences but it's silly to make "drawing you out" someone else's job. If you want to come out, come out. If not, it's not someone else's burden to pull you out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, can we get off this idea that a woman who wants to wait is playing "games" or some such nonsense? Because, sure, some might be with an arbitrary number of dates set out just for the sake of making a man jump through hoops. But, while I love sex and am pretty high drive with a kinky streak, I am pretty shy/reserved and a little socially anxious with new people (like, I'm perfectly pleasant with someone new, but they might observe me seeming nervous, and I probably am). In general, I get along with most people but only really like a small number of people and I just don't feel attraction for someone unless I know them well enough to know I like them. If we've never met before a first date, by the third date, I'm just getting to the point where maybe I can see being attracted to you. So, no, I'm not going to sleep with you at that point. Once I DO warm up to you, we will be off to the races pretty quickly. If you aren't willing to be patient enough to wait that out or, don't have the social skills to draw me out a bit, which can move things along, then, that's fine, we are incompatible and I will send you on your way.

That doesn't mean I think I'm special or that I'm being a princess. It means I know what it takes for me to fully enjoy sex with someone and I figure most good guys prefer someone who is into it rather than someone who is swallowing down nerves. I also don't think someone who wants sex soon is wrong either--we all have different comfort levels and preferences. But, everyone is entitled to them without someone making ridiculous assumptions about it.

You're entitled to your preferences but it's silly to make "drawing you out" someone else's job. If you want to come out, come out. If not, it's not someone else's burden to pull you out.

That's true. It's not, and I don't think it's anyone's responsibility to do so. But, it DOES move the process along. It's not that hard, and it's really just a matter of showing interest in me as a human being (and I do reciprocate). It's not a prerequisite for me to find someone appealing, but it helps a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, can we get off this idea that a woman who wants to wait is playing "games" or some such nonsense? Because, sure, some might be with an arbitrary number of dates set out just for the sake of making a man jump through hoops. But, while I love sex and am pretty high drive with a kinky streak, I am pretty shy/reserved and a little socially anxious with new people (like, I'm perfectly pleasant with someone new, but they might observe me seeming nervous, and I probably am). In general, I get along with most people but only really like a small number of people and I just don't feel attraction for someone unless I know them well enough to know I like them. If we've never met before a first date, by the third date, I'm just getting to the point where maybe I can see being attracted to you. So, no, I'm not going to sleep with you at that point. Once I DO warm up to you, we will be off to the races pretty quickly. If you aren't willing to be patient enough to wait that out or, don't have the social skills to draw me out a bit, which can move things along, then, that's fine, we are incompatible and I will send you on your way.

That doesn't mean I think I'm special or that I'm being a princess. It means I know what it takes for me to fully enjoy sex with someone and I figure most good guys prefer someone who is into it rather than someone who is swallowing down nerves. I also don't think someone who wants sex soon is wrong either--we all have different comfort levels and preferences. But, everyone is entitled to them without someone making ridiculous assumptions about it.

If that's what it takes to get you going, that's fine. Have sex when you want and don't have sex when you don't want. That's perfectly normal and healthy behavior. What I'm critical of are thoe people who won't have sex because of some three-dimensional calculations about what it will mean for the long-term relationship or what society might think. (Or people who do have sex for similar reasons). Have sex if the person makes you horny and you think it'll feel good. Otherwise, don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, can we get off this idea that a woman who wants to wait is playing "games" or some such nonsense? Because, sure, some might be with an arbitrary number of dates set out just for the sake of making a man jump through hoops. But, while I love sex and am pretty high drive with a kinky streak, I am pretty shy/reserved and a little socially anxious with new people (like, I'm perfectly pleasant with someone new, but they might observe me seeming nervous, and I probably am). In general, I get along with most people but only really like a small number of people and I just don't feel attraction for someone unless I know them well enough to know I like them. If we've never met before a first date, by the third date, I'm just getting to the point where maybe I can see being attracted to you. So, no, I'm not going to sleep with you at that point. Once I DO warm up to you, we will be off to the races pretty quickly. If you aren't willing to be patient enough to wait that out or, don't have the social skills to draw me out a bit, which can move things along, then, that's fine, we are incompatible and I will send you on your way.

That doesn't mean I think I'm special or that I'm being a princess. It means I know what it takes for me to fully enjoy sex with someone and I figure most good guys prefer someone who is into it rather than someone who is swallowing down nerves. I also don't think someone who wants sex soon is wrong either--we all have different comfort levels and preferences. But, everyone is entitled to them without someone making ridiculous assumptions about it.

This.

And even if women do decide to "play hard to get" it's only because men insult women who are "loose" and call them all sorts of nasty names I wont repeat here. So, men... you've made your bed. Deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, can we get off this idea that a woman who wants to wait is playing "games" or some such nonsense? Because, sure, some might be with an arbitrary number of dates set out just for the sake of making a man jump through hoops. But, while I love sex and am pretty high drive with a kinky streak, I am pretty shy/reserved and a little socially anxious with new people (like, I'm perfectly pleasant with someone new, but they might observe me seeming nervous, and I probably am). In general, I get along with most people but only really like a small number of people and I just don't feel attraction for someone unless I know them well enough to know I like them. If we've never met before a first date, by the third date, I'm just getting to the point where maybe I can see being attracted to you. So, no, I'm not going to sleep with you at that point. Once I DO warm up to you, we will be off to the races pretty quickly. If you aren't willing to be patient enough to wait that out or, don't have the social skills to draw me out a bit, which can move things along, then, that's fine, we are incompatible and I will send you on your way.

That doesn't mean I think I'm special or that I'm being a princess. It means I know what it takes for me to fully enjoy sex with someone and I figure most good guys prefer someone who is into it rather than someone who is swallowing down nerves. I also don't think someone who wants sex soon is wrong either--we all have different comfort levels and preferences. But, everyone is entitled to them without someone making ridiculous assumptions about it.

You're entitled to your preferences but it's silly to make "drawing you out" someone else's job. If you want to come out, come out. If not, it's not someone else's burden to pull you out.

PP said she wants someone with social skills who is capable of drawing her out. Clearly, great social skills is high on her list. Clearly, you are not a fit for that. But absolutely NOTHING wrong with that being on her list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So why was my husband the one who wanted to wait a couple more dates?

Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So why was my husband the one who wanted to wait a couple more dates?

Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while.

That explains your dating strategy then.

[Anonymous]

I think OP has friends who are sexually inexperienced. When I was a virgin or had only slept with 1 or 2 women, I was put off by women with high numbers. Once I got double digits, I didn't really care what my girlfriend's number was. And I would have been thrilled to jump into bed on first date

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And even if women do decide to "play hard to get" it's only because men insult women who are "loose" and call them all sorts of nasty names I wont repeat here. So, men... you've made your bed. Deal with it.

Women are way worse to other women about slut-shaming than men are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And even if women do decide to "play hard to get" it's only because men insult women who are "loose" and call them all sorts of nasty names I wont repeat here. So, men... you've made your bed. Deal with it.

Women are way worse to other women about slut-shaming than men are.

Sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, can we get off this idea that a woman who wants to wait is playing "games" or some such nonsense? Because, sure, some might be with an arbitrary number of dates set out just for the sake of making a man jump through hoops. But, while I love sex and am pretty high drive with a kinky streak, I am pretty shy/reserved and a little socially anxious with new people (like, I'm perfectly pleasant with someone new, but they might observe me seeming nervous, and I probably am). In general, I get along with most people but only really like a small number of people and I just don't feel attraction for someone unless I know them well enough to know I like them. If we've never met before a first date, by the third date, I'm just getting to the point where maybe I can see being attracted to you. So, no, I'm not going to sleep with you at that point. Once I DO warm up to you, we will be off to the races pretty quickly. If you aren't willing to be patient enough to wait that out or, don't have the social skills to draw me out a bit, which can move things along, then, that's fine, we are incompatible and I will send you on your way.

That doesn't mean I think I'm special or that I'm being a princess. It means I know what it takes for me to fully enjoy sex with someone and I figure most good guys prefer someone who is into it rather than someone who is swallowing down nerves. I also don't think someone who wants sex soon is wrong either--we all have different comfort levels and preferences. But, everyone is entitled to them without someone making ridiculous assumptions about it.

You're entitled to your preferences but it's silly to make "drawing you out" someone else's job. If you want to come out, come out. If not, it's not someone else's burden to pull you out.

PP said she wants someone with social skills who is capable of drawing her out. Clearly, great social skills is high on her list. Clearly, you are not a fit for that. But absolutely NOTHING wrong with that being on her list.

I'm clearly not a fit for that since I"m female and I'm not into women. Perhaps it's a semantic difference and that's not what she meant. What I meant was that it's silly to play a princess in a high tower who is waiting for someone capable of luring her out. If you have a shell, you should work on not having a shell, not put a burden on someone to draw you out of it. It's one thing if you don't like someone and just not interested. But you shouldn't depend on someone to pull out the best of you. You should be the best of you already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, can we get off this idea that a woman who wants to wait is playing "games" or some such nonsense? Because, sure, some might be with an arbitrary number of dates set out just for the sake of making a man jump through hoops. But, while I love sex and am pretty high drive with a kinky streak, I am pretty shy/reserved and a little socially anxious with new people (like, I'm perfectly pleasant with someone new, but they might observe me seeming nervous, and I probably am). In general, I get along with most people but only really like a small number of people and I just don't feel attraction for someone unless I know them well enough to know I like them. If we've never met before a first date, by the third date, I'm just getting to the point where maybe I can see being attracted to you. So, no, I'm not going to sleep with you at that point. Once I DO warm up to you, we will be off to the races pretty quickly. If you aren't willing to be patient enough to wait that out or, don't have the social skills to draw me out a bit, which can move things along, then, that's fine, we are incompatible and I will send you on your way.

That doesn't mean I think I'm special or that I'm being a princess. It means I know what it takes for me to fully enjoy sex with someone and I figure most good guys prefer someone who is into it rather than someone who is swallowing down nerves. I also don't think someone who wants sex soon is wrong either--we all have different comfort levels and preferences. But, everyone is entitled to them without someone making ridiculous assumptions about it.

You're entitled to your preferences but it's silly to make "drawing you out" someone else's job. If you want to come out, come out. If not, it's not someone else's burden to pull you out.

PP said she wants someone with social skills who is capable of drawing her out. Clearly, great social skills is high on her list. Clearly, you are not a fit for that. But absolutely NOTHING wrong with that being on her list.

I'm clearly not a fit for that since I"m female and I'm not into women. Perhaps it's a semantic difference and that's not what she meant. What I meant was that it's silly to play a princess in a high tower who is waiting for someone capable of luring her out. If you have a shell, you should work on not having a shell, not put a burden on someone to draw you out of it. It's one thing if you don't like someone and just not interested. But you shouldn't depend on someone to pull out the best of you. You should be the best of you already.

She is hardly "playing princess in a high tower". She wants someone with good social skills who has the capability of drawing her out. I'm sure there are many men who prefer extroverted women who can make them open up. It's called a preference. Get the hell over it and stop applying misogynistic caricatures ("princess in a high tower- WTF?) to a perfectly fine and good situation.