Why do men like good girls?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female here (married, so not asking for myself, just curious). In my circle of friends, a guy has just started dating a woman. While talking about her with us, the guys agreed that it's a bit concerning that she has invited him over to her place because that's slutty, but she hasn't yet slept with (or even kissed) him which is a very good sign. General consensus is that any girl who would sleep with a guy within the first few dates isn't dating material, and that ideally they should wait anywhere form a few weeks to a few months.

Now, maybe my logic is flawed, but to me it seems like if you will only date women who can go without sex for several weeks, you end up with a girlfriend or wife who can go without sex for several weeks. And surprise, most of these guys I know who are with "good girls" are also unhappy in sexless LTR/marriages.

So I'm trying to understand the appeal of a woman who really isn't that into sex. To me, if you want an exciting sex life while married, you should go for women who are eager for it, rather than the mythical Madonna-like woman who has zero interest in men until you come along. Not saying that women who are sleeping around with multiple people are ideal (I wouldn't date a man like that), but if the chemistry and attraction are there, what's wrong with a woman who wants to enjoy sex early on? Why does that automatically exclude a woman from being taken seriously?

I think both you and your friends are making a lot of assumptions, and frankly both are ignorant. When a guy is into a girl, he is into her, and doesn't give a damn about numbers, dates etc.

[Anonymous]

No correlation.
My sister was a 27 year old Virgin. She is obsessed with sex since then. She is almost 50. She has a lot of sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

General consensus is that any girl who would sleep with a guy within the first few dates isn't dating material, and that ideally they should wait anywhere form a few weeks to a few months.

I don't know any guys who think like that. General consensus is, if she doesn't put out by the third date, she is wasting your time and you should move on.

Yeah, are these guys gay? My wife and I were very busy by the third date.

Think of all the other guys she was busy with by the third date. Or do you think you were special?
Enjoy your HPV and herpes.

"Special"? Are you fcking stupid? Guys want to get laid, or they want a girlfriend with whom they can do that. As long as she isn't a sex worker, previous history isn't that important. What is she up for doing now? That's important.

Stop hating other women so much, and stop thinking in terms of what men should want, instead of what we do want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female here (married, so not asking for myself, just curious). In my circle of friends, a guy has just started dating a woman. While talking about her with us, the guys agreed that it's a bit concerning that she has invited him over to her place because that's slutty, but she hasn't yet slept with (or even kissed) him which is a very good sign. General consensus is that any girl who would sleep with a guy within the first few dates isn't dating material, and that ideally they should wait anywhere form a few weeks to a few months.

Now, maybe my logic is flawed, but to me it seems like if you will only date women who can go without sex for several weeks, you end up with a girlfriend or wife who can go without sex for several weeks. And surprise, most of these guys I know who are with "good girls" are also unhappy in sexless LTR/marriages.

So I'm trying to understand the appeal of a woman who really isn't that into sex. To me, if you want an exciting sex life while married, you should go for women who are eager for it, rather than the mythical Madonna-like woman who has zero interest in men until you come along. Not saying that women who are sleeping around with multiple people are ideal (I wouldn't date a man like that), but if the chemistry and attraction are there, what's wrong with a woman who wants to enjoy sex early on? Why does that automatically exclude a woman from being taken seriously?

It depends on the people involved. My husband was a bit taken aback that I was ready to have sex only two weeks after we started dating. Not surprisingly now, I am the more adventurous, higher drive partner. I should have dated a guy who embraced my sexuality and helped me explore it. The appeal to my husband of a woman who is a "good girl" is that he wanted someone less sexy as the mother of his children. yes, of course, he's Catholic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a good girl and very into sex with DH, and other serious boyfriends I've had, but not into sex with guys I don't know well. Just for me, unless I already knew a date fairly well through real life (from work, through a group of friends, a volunteer activity), I would not feel relaxed and turned on by them enough by the 3rd date to have sex with them. If someone else enjoys sex with people earlier, that's totally fine as well. But I don't think your correlation between "won't put out early" and "doesn't like sex" is correct at all.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Women who are responsible and level-headed know that there are dangers associated with having sex with strangers. A woman who will sleep with someone she just met is likely to be impulsive, attention-seeking, and needy. It's not about libido. I would worry equally about a woman who's really into walking down dark alleys at night or riding a motorcycle without a helmet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female here (married, so not asking for myself, just curious). In my circle of friends, a guy has just started dating a woman. While talking about her with us, the guys agreed that it's a bit concerning that she has invited him over to her place because that's slutty, but she hasn't yet slept with (or even kissed) him which is a very good sign. General consensus is that any girl who would sleep with a guy within the first few dates isn't dating material, and that ideally they should wait anywhere form a few weeks to a few months.

Now, maybe my logic is flawed, but to me it seems like if you will only date women who can go without sex for several weeks, you end up with a girlfriend or wife who can go without sex for several weeks. And surprise, most of these guys I know who are with "good girls" are also unhappy in sexless LTR/marriages.

So I'm trying to understand the appeal of a woman who really isn't that into sex. To me, if you want an exciting sex life while married, you should go for women who are eager for it, rather than the mythical Madonna-like woman who has zero interest in men until you come along. Not saying that women who are sleeping around with multiple people are ideal (I wouldn't date a man like that), but if the chemistry and attraction are there, what's wrong with a woman who wants to enjoy sex early on? Why does that automatically exclude a woman from being taken seriously?

Yes, your logic is flawed. A woman can be very much into sex without satisfying this need with whatever male happens to be in proximity. No one HAS to have sex, it's not like food or air. She'll be eager to have sex with him once the relationship is established.

[Anonymous]

When I was single, my magic number was 12 dates before sex. And they have to be actual dates.

[Anonymous]

Well it works for some guys. Male friend of mine met a girl and she blue balled him for 18 months, religious reason she said, till they were married. Then it turned out she just didn't like sex all that much if at all. Marriage not going so well. This chick had been married before and had a child. For some guys that idea of a virgin or refurbished virgin just does something for them, until they find out that the amount of sex is very limited.

[Anonymous]

I am a guy. I hate the term "Good Girl" when describing women.

A good girl is the 10 yo who does the dishes.

[Anonymous]

She'll be eager to have sex with him once the relationship is established.

Uh, no, challenge not accepted. Go away. If you want a relationship, do the relationship stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female here (married, so not asking for myself, just curious). In my circle of friends, a guy has just started dating a woman. While talking about her with us, the guys agreed that it's a bit concerning that she has invited him over to her place because that's slutty, but she hasn't yet slept with (or even kissed) him which is a very good sign. General consensus is that any girl who would sleep with a guy within the first few dates isn't dating material, and that ideally they should wait anywhere form a few weeks to a few months.

Now, maybe my logic is flawed, but to me it seems like if you will only date women who can go without sex for several weeks, you end up with a girlfriend or wife who can go without sex for several weeks. And surprise, most of these guys I know who are with "good girls" are also unhappy in sexless LTR/marriages.

So I'm trying to understand the appeal of a woman who really isn't that into sex. To me, if you want an exciting sex life while married, you should go for women who are eager for it, rather than the mythical Madonna-like woman who has zero interest in men until you come along. Not saying that women who are sleeping around with multiple people are ideal (I wouldn't date a man like that), but if the chemistry and attraction are there, what's wrong with a woman who wants to enjoy sex early on? Why does that automatically exclude a woman from being taken seriously?

Perhaps someone has already said that your logic is severely flawed but jic they haven't, your logic is severely flawed. Countless times I have read stories of just how much has changed in a number of areas where that wasn't the case back when dating. A prime lament seen is just how sexless their wife or husband is now but before marriage it was sooooo different.

[Anonymous]

It just seems that you barely know each other on the 3rd date. Would any warm body do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a guy. I hate the term "Good Girl" when describing women.

A good girl is the 10 yo who does the dishes.

Actually, a "good girl" is one that sits on command, rolls over and comes when called.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women who are responsible and level-headed know that there are dangers associated with having sex with strangers. A woman who will sleep with someone she just met is likely to be impulsive, attention-seeking, and needy. It's not about libido. I would worry equally about a woman who's really into walking down dark alleys at night or riding a motorcycle without a helmet.

Most men will sleep with someone they just met. Does that mean they are also impulsive, attention-seeking, and needy?