Why do men like good girls?

[Anonymous]

Female here (married, so not asking for myself, just curious). In my circle of friends, a guy has just started dating a woman. While talking about her with us, the guys agreed that it's a bit concerning that she has invited him over to her place because that's slutty, but she hasn't yet slept with (or even kissed) him which is a very good sign. General consensus is that any girl who would sleep with a guy within the first few dates isn't dating material, and that ideally they should wait anywhere form a few weeks to a few months.

Now, maybe my logic is flawed, but to me it seems like if you will only date women who can go without sex for several weeks, you end up with a girlfriend or wife who can go without sex for several weeks. And surprise, most of these guys I know who are with "good girls" are also unhappy in sexless LTR/marriages.

So I'm trying to understand the appeal of a woman who really isn't that into sex. To me, if you want an exciting sex life while married, you should go for women who are eager for it, rather than the mythical Madonna-like woman who has zero interest in men until you come along. Not saying that women who are sleeping around with multiple people are ideal (I wouldn't date a man like that), but if the chemistry and attraction are there, what's wrong with a woman who wants to enjoy sex early on? Why does that automatically exclude a woman from being taken seriously?

[ddintysons]

In my circle of friends, a guy has just started dating a woman. While talking about her with us, the guys agreed that it's a bit concerning that she has invited him over to her place because that's slutty, but she hasn't yet slept with (or even kissed) him which is a very good sign. General consensus is that any girl who would sleep with a guy within the first few dates isn't dating material, and that ideally they should wait anywhere form a few weeks to a few months.

OP - I am just curious. Did your married friends discuss how long before they had sex with their DH/DW when they were dating? I am just wondering if they waited the few weeks/few months noted.

[Anonymous]

General consensus is that any girl who would sleep with a guy within the first few dates isn't dating material, and that ideally they should wait anywhere form a few weeks to a few months.

I don't know any guys who think like that. General consensus is, if she doesn't put out by the third date, she is wasting your time and you should move on.

[Anonymous]

Because they're idiots. Why do men like anything?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

General consensus is that any girl who would sleep with a guy within the first few dates isn't dating material, and that ideally they should wait anywhere form a few weeks to a few months.

I don't know any guys who think like that. General consensus is, if she doesn't put out by the third date, she is wasting your time and you should move on.

Yeah, are these guys gay? My wife and I were very busy by the third date.

[Anonymous]

I'm a good girl and very into sex with DH, and other serious boyfriends I've had, but not into sex with guys I don't know well. Just for me, unless I already knew a date fairly well through real life (from work, through a group of friends, a volunteer activity), I would not feel relaxed and turned on by them enough by the 3rd date to have sex with them. If someone else enjoys sex with people earlier, that's totally fine as well. But I don't think your correlation between "won't put out early" and "doesn't like sex" is correct at all.

[Anonymous]

These are your starter trophy wives for reputation/show early on

Affairs usually occur pretty early on in the marriage to get the actual sex

Divorce happens at somepoint and oftentimes with the one DH is having sex with to get a better trophy wife when it is acceptable for this to occur

Cycle has been known to repeat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know any guys who think like that. General consensus is, if she doesn't put out by the third date, she is wasting your time and you should move on.

this^ x a million. OP, sounds like this guy has some issues and he is not the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know any guys who think like that. General consensus is, if she doesn't put out by the third date, she is wasting your time and you should move on.

this^ x a million. OP, sounds like this guy has some issues and he is not the norm.

I dunno. Maybe it's different now. I didn't put out on the first date or even the first month! With my dh. And when we had sex it was glorious and we couldn't get enough and are happily married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know any guys who think like that. General consensus is, if she doesn't put out by the third date, she is wasting your time and you should move on.

this^ x a million. OP, sounds like this guy has some issues and he is not the norm.

I dunno. Maybe it's different now. I didn't put out on the first date or even the first month! With my dh. And when we had sex it was glorious and we couldn't get enough and are happily married.

Pp here. I'm 36 btw.

[Anonymous]

Seems like something women tell each other to police social norms -- occasionally bolstered by misogynists with backward views on women's sexuality.

Most guys are happy to date, marry, and have sex with women who like sex.

[Anonymous]

I think the guys in your circle were saying that because their wives or girlfriends were present. Normal guys don't think that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know any guys who think like that. General consensus is, if she doesn't put out by the third date, she is wasting your time and you should move on.

this^ x a million. OP, sounds like this guy has some issues and he is not the norm.

I dunno. Maybe it's different now. I didn't put out on the first date or even the first month! With my dh. And when we had sex it was glorious and we couldn't get enough and are happily married.

It's not. Guys like the pps are pathetic man babies on some red pill B.S. I did not slip with my husband within the time frame mention, and he still pursued me. The sex is awesome, frequent, and we're very happy, and I'm 32.

When a guy is into you he is into you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

General consensus is that any girl who would sleep with a guy within the first few dates isn't dating material, and that ideally they should wait anywhere form a few weeks to a few months.

I don't know any guys who think like that. General consensus is, if she doesn't put out by the third date, she is wasting your time and you should move on.

Yeah, are these guys gay? My wife and I were very busy by the third date.

Think of all the other guys she was busy with by the third date. Or do you think you were special?
Enjoy your HPV and herpes.