Lack of Sex starting to cause issues/fights

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she still breastfeeding, OP? I know the bf'ing zealots will swoop down to scream at me that bf'ing, in addition to it's innumerable other wonders, is The Biggest Aphrodisiac EVER! But in my experience, it was just not so. With both of my kids, sex was painful until I weaned (something to do with estrogen levels and natural lubrication). I just also did not feel like sex at ALL, EVER, and I'm very healthy gal with a very cute husband. I never had a minute of low drive until I was postpartum. It's a long, tough process getting back to normal, which you already know, and that weight is hard to lose. Have an honest conversation with her, maybe ask her to see her OB/GYN, and maybe also couples therapy if things don't improve once she's weaned and once her dieting efforts start to pay off. I've been there. It just takes time and weight loss. I'm sorry I have no magic bullet.

+1. Breastfeeding killed it for me too. It was just too much for my body to have sex, on top of doing the work of lactation, and the time-suck of breastfeeding. And it was hard to exercise because I couldn't find a comfortable sports bra.

At 8 months, the baby should be getting on to more solid food, maybe that will help a bit.

BF has been over for a few months.

And, broken record here: I really am OK with us not having sex. I'm not the person bringing up trying to have sex. I do marvel at the ability of strangers to read my mind over teh webs.

You SAY you are ok with not having sex, because that makes you feel like less of a jerk, but you doth protest too much. it is obvious that you are not actually ok with it. If the problem is really that your wife is unhappy and anxious and fighty, why would you say "main problem is our sex life is dead"? Why would you try to give her oral that you know she doesn't like? If you are ok with no sex, and she doesn't want oral, then who wants it? Then you complain about her weight and how the sex that she does try to have is unappealing to you. You clearly do care about your wife, but it is equally obvious that you are not ok with your sex life. I don't blame you for wanting things to improve. But let's call a spade a spade here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't matter what the issue is, cheaters will make any excuse to justify their behavior. They are basically abusers, always blame the victim. Cheating excuses I've heard: He doesn't help around the house, she doesn't give me sex, he put his kids and mil first. On and on it goes. No excuse, and if a spouse cheats you should promptly get a lawyer, and get tested.

I don't know why you quoted that particular section...your reply is a real non-sequitor.

However, there is no question at all that either of us is cheating...cheating isn't really an issue here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the problem is really that your wife is unhappy and anxious and fighty, why would you say "main problem is our sex life is dead"?

Page 6 @15:19.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the problem is really that your wife is unhappy and anxious and fighty, why would you say "main problem is our sex life is dead"?

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, sorry for all the completely rude and attacking responses you have received. I'm still giving you the benefit of the doubt and going with my initial impression, which is that you are well-intentioned. If you read through the thread and screen out the haters, there is some really good advice. Think it through and decide what you think might work. And then just be patient - a lot of women are telling you things will return to normal.

[Anonymous]

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/191490-ted-talk-about-sex-starved-marriage.html#/forumsite/20516/topics/191490?page=1

Watch the video at the link it makes when a lot of stuff. Lack of sex and marriage is certainly a pathway to divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lack of sex starting to cause issues/fights?

More like too many unattractive, bad habits to want to have sex w/you.

#1
Poor wife, she finally has the child she wants but stuck with this problem. He has 2 hands and should leave her alone.

+2.

I find the lack of self awareness on his part particularly amusing.

He certainly didn't major in psychology did he....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lack of sex starting to cause issues/fights?

More like too many unattractive, bad habits to want to have sex w/you.

#1
Poor wife, she finally has the child she wants but stuck with this problem. He has 2 hands and should leave her alone.

+2.

I find the lack of self awareness on his part particularly amusing.

He certainly didn't major in psychology did he....

Why the ellipses? Did you get attacked by a bear? Hope you escape and are able to finish your thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lack of sex starting to cause issues/fights?

More like too many unattractive, bad habits to want to have sex w/you.

#1
Poor wife, she finally has the child she wants but stuck with this problem. He has 2 hands and should leave her alone.

+2.

I find the lack of self awareness on his part particularly amusing.

He certainly didn't major in psychology did he....

Why the ellipses? Did you get attacked by a bear? Hope you escape and are able to finish your thought.

Do you not understand how ellipses work? You really thought it was notable that someone used them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the problem is really that your wife is unhappy and anxious and fighty, why would you say "main problem is our sex life is dead"?

+1

Not to mention the title of the thread... this OP is so transparent! (And oh snap I just used ELLIPSES! )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lack of sex starting to cause issues/fights?

More like too many unattractive, bad habits to want to have sex w/you.

#1
Poor wife, she finally has the child she wants but stuck with this problem. He has 2 hands and should leave her alone.

[slow clap] -- You didn't read the part where DW was the one who was mad because OP didn't want to have sex with her?

You must not read the parts where OP continuously changes his story, deflects, and gets extremely angry when posters call him out?

Example of this continuously changing story. And maybe a quote that shows his extreme anger? I've read pretty closely, and his account has held together pretty well. I've noticed some exasperation with posters who chastised him for doing things he had already said he was not doing or for not doing things he had already said he was doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lack of sex starting to cause issues/fights?

More like too many unattractive, bad habits to want to have sex w/you.

#1
Poor wife, she finally has the child she wants but stuck with this problem. He has 2 hands and should leave her alone.

+2.

I find the lack of self awareness on his part particularly amusing.

He certainly didn't major in psychology did he....

Why the ellipses? Did you get attacked by a bear? Hope you escape and are able to finish your thought.

Do you not understand how ellipses work? You really thought it was notable that someone used them?

I do understand how ellipses work. It's a series of dots that indicates omission of a word, sentence, or section from a text. Just wondering what the missing text was and what caused PP to trail off like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lack of sex starting to cause issues/fights?

More like too many unattractive, bad habits to want to have sex w/you.

#1
Poor wife, she finally has the child she wants but stuck with this problem. He has 2 hands and should leave her alone.

+2.

I find the lack of self awareness on his part particularly amusing.

He certainly didn't major in psychology did he....

Why the ellipses? Did you get attacked by a bear? Hope you escape and are able to finish your thought.

Do you not understand how ellipses work? You really thought it was notable that someone used them?

I do understand how ellipses work. It's a series of dots that indicates omission of a word, sentence, or section from a text. Just wondering what the missing text was and what caused PP to trail off like that.

Well, you clearly don't. Because the PP used them in an extremely common way.

But by all means, turn this into a grammar thread, rather than facing up to your inadequacies which have been so clearly outlined in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lack of sex starting to cause issues/fights?

More like too many unattractive, bad habits to want to have sex w/you.

#1
Poor wife, she finally has the child she wants but stuck with this problem. He has 2 hands and should leave her alone.

[slow clap] -- You didn't read the part where DW was the one who was mad because OP didn't want to have sex with her?

You must not read the parts where OP continuously changes his story, deflects, and gets extremely angry when posters call him out?

Example of this continuously changing story. And maybe a quote that shows his extreme anger? I've read pretty closely, and his account has held together pretty well. I've noticed some exasperation with posters who chastised him for doing things he had already said he was not doing or for not doing things he had already said he was doing.

It's changed several times, and the irritation and anger, even name calling on the OP's part, is fairly obvious. I'm not going to hold your hand and go over the thread with you. Multiple posters see it.

Happy hunting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry for all the completely rude and attacking responses you have received. I'm still giving you the benefit of the doubt and going with my initial impression, which is that you are well-intentioned. If you read through the thread and screen out the haters, there is some really good advice. Think it through and decide what you think might work. And then just be patient - a lot of women are telling you things will return to normal.

I should've ignored some of the more...obnoxious responses (instead of poking them with a stick).

I have gotten a few good ideas here from a few posters. There is wheat among the chaff.