Reply to Lack of Sex starting to cause issues/fights

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is she still breastfeeding, OP? I know the bf'ing zealots will swoop down to scream at me that bf'ing, in addition to it's innumerable other wonders, is The Biggest Aphrodisiac EVER! But in my experience, it was just not so. With both of my kids, sex was painful until I weaned (something to do with estrogen levels and natural lubrication). I just also did not feel like sex at ALL, EVER, and I'm very healthy gal with a very cute husband. I never had a minute of low drive until I was postpartum. It's a long, tough process getting back to normal, which you already know, and that weight is hard to lose. Have an honest conversation with her, maybe ask her to see her OB/GYN, and maybe also couples therapy if things don't improve once she's weaned and once her dieting efforts start to pay off. I've been there. It just takes time and weight loss. I'm sorry I have no magic bullet.[/quote]

+1.  Breastfeeding killed it for me too.  It was just too much for my body to have sex, on top of doing the work of lactation, and the time-suck of breastfeeding.  And it was hard to exercise because I couldn't find a comfortable sports bra.

At 8 months, the baby should be getting on to more solid food, maybe that will help a bit.[/quote]

BF has been over for a few months.

And, broken record here: I really am OK with us not having sex.  I'm not the person bringing up trying to have sex.  I do marvel at the ability of strangers to read my mind over teh webs.  [/quote]

You SAY you are ok with not having sex, because that makes you feel like less of a jerk, but you doth protest too much.  it is obvious that you are not actually ok with it.  If the problem is really that your wife is unhappy and anxious and fighty, why would you say "main problem is our sex life is dead"?  Why would you try to give her oral that you know she doesn't like?  If you are ok with no sex, and she doesn't want oral, then who wants it?  Then you complain about her weight and how the sex that she does try to have is unappealing to you.  You clearly do care about your wife, but it is equally obvious that you are not ok with your sex life.  I don't blame you for wanting things to improve.  But let's call a spade a spade here. [/quote]

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