+1 The people opining that she will only have "vanilla sex" with Guy 1 and save her wild side for Guy 2 are basically totally making things up. Do you seriously believe this, PPs? It's really reinforcing the madonna/whore viewpoint that some say is overstated. Clearly it's NOT. For me, I'll freely admit that I used to do some of the same as OP with no guilt. If a guy was someone I liked, then I took a little bit of time to see if I could tell what his feelings were. If it was just someone for fun, then by all means, let's have fun. This has actually nothing to do with actual bedroom behavior once we get there. |
| Is Hank posting on here again!!! |
Right, there's a difference between how quickly you have sex and what kind of sex you have. Most one-night stand sex is pretty vanilla. |
She didn't have a one night stand with guy 2. It's pretty clear she had sex multiple times and loved it (paraphrasing, but her own words). |
Guy 2 is more kinda like a jock. He’s pretty gregarious and knows what he wants. We “did it” soon after we met. When we get together it’s fireworks but only in one way… There. No room for interpretation. Her words from the first post. Fireworks when they get together. That's not even remotely suggestive of once. Guy 3 is. |
Not a one-night stand, but she had sex with Guy 2 a handful of times before dropping him. Guy 1 is the guy she wants to date long-term, and will probably end up doing more adventurous things in bed with him because they'll have time to establish trust and intimacy. |
Sounds idealistic, but doesn't match the pattern nor the affair stories here at all. Sure, some may be "just stories," but there's truth to having that sexual connection with people other than the one with whom you have an emotional connection. I wish I were making that up, but let's be honest here. |
The difference is no man will come on here and say he withheld sex from the one out of three that he actually likes! |
sure and that will be the day unicorns mosey on down Pennsylvania Avenue |
Exactly. In some utopia, this would happen. In real life, the living husband gets "we make love sex," while the guy on the side has his ass licked. Then she gives hubby a BIG KISS. Was that too graphic for you? Sorry, but the point needs to be driven home. |
I just don't think you can generalize what goes on in your marriage to everyone else's. |
No, man. You've made that point at least 20 times. Repeating it does not make it true. |
+ 1,000 Some men are projecting their own issues all over this situation. |
She slept with them both. So what? I really don't understand why everyone is so bent out of shape. She's been on a few dates with a few different guys. It's called being single and dating. Most of you sound bitter that you're not Guy 2 or Guy 3, getting laid easily. You're projecting your issues onto this woman. |
From OP: I got a text from Guy 1 Saturday morning that he had to cancel our date that night because he said (but I don’t believe him) he had to work. I said OK, how about Monday? He said OK and I’m going to see him in a bit so I’m wondering what he’s going to ask and how I should handle things delicately, assuming he brings up last Friday at all. She basically wants to know 1)why guy 1 reacted how he did and 2) how to "handle things delicately" The male posters here for the most part are trying to explain that to her, not projecting any issues. Only in a woman's mind does it make sense to make a guy you really like wait for sex when you will put out willingly to guys you don't give a shit about. Is it a woman's right to do so? of course. Will it ever make any sense to a man? No, and if he finds out it has happened to him it is his right to move on down the road. Assuming the OP is real, she is finding out what we are saying is accurate, as evidenced by his avoiding her. No male on here gives a fuck she was nailing multiple guys. She's not in a committed relationship. What the guys have an issue with (and what Guy 1 would have an issue with if he knew the full story) is being the only no-pussy-getting MFer out of the three. If you want to fuck, fuck. But if you really like guy 1 why not go ahead and fuck him too? |