Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's a little Henry VIII for my tastes. I think most people instinctual assume/prefer that any children they have will be biologically theirs, but telling your SO that this preference outweighs your desire to build a life with them is nuts.

If you are still willing to marry him I'd have a fertility workup now and make him pay for it. He's making it a condition of marriage it should be at his expense.

Also, the people harping on him would be singing a different tune if OP were a man and his girlfriend had said this.

This^. Double standards because majority of the posters here are women.

People would say he must try to stay with her even if she said she'd leave him if he was physically unable to father children? Is that what you are saying?

Nobody is saying if she should stay or leave, just stating the fact that lots of people date and break up if they aren't compatible. There is no need to assign blame here for personal preferences to move forward or not.

His “personal preference” reflects that he doesn’t truly love his girlfriend. That’s the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's a little Henry VIII for my tastes. I think most people instinctual assume/prefer that any children they have will be biologically theirs, but telling your SO that this preference outweighs your desire to build a life with them is nuts.

If you are still willing to marry him I'd have a fertility workup now and make him pay for it. He's making it a condition of marriage it should be at his expense.

Also, the people harping on him would be singing a different tune if OP were a man and his girlfriend had said this.

This^. Double standards because majority of the posters here are women.

People would say he must try to stay with her even if she said she'd leave him if he was physically unable to father children? Is that what you are saying?

Nobody is saying if she should stay or leave, just stating the fact that lots of people date and break up if they aren't compatible. There is no need to assign blame here for personal preferences to move forward or not.

His “personal preference” reflects that he doesn’t truly love his girlfriend. That’s the issue.

His preference is for his girlfriend to not have a medical issue completely outside her control.

[Anonymous]

Partner A: I would break it off with an infertile partner

Partner B: I would break it off with someone who would not commit to an infertile partner. Also, I am so much better than you.

Time to pull chute Partner A.

[Anonymous]

How kind of him to share that with her now, not later. Once again, a win-win for both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Partner A: I would break it off with an infertile partner

Partner B: I would break it off with someone who would not commit to an infertile partner. Also, I am so much better than you.

Time to pull chute Partner A.

Imagine if your own partner said, “I would divorce you for developing cancer.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a common problem only mostly women are ones wanting children and men either don't want any or delay until they feel ready. This forum always tell women to leave and have children either someone else because that's important to them.

There's a big difference between breaking up woth someone that wants a different thing from you or lies to you about what they want, and somebody that right of the bat says "i will no longer want you if you're ill".

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]Partner A: I would break it off with an infertile partner

Partner B: I would break it off with someone who would not commit to an infertile partner. Also, I am so much better than you.

Time to pull chute Partner A.[/quote]

This^. Nobody is holier here. Women break up over ADHD and depression because it doesn't work for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Partner A: I would break it off with an infertile partner

Partner B: I would break it off with someone who would not commit to an infertile partner. Also, I am so much better than you.

Time to pull chute Partner A.

Imagine if your own partner said, “I would divorce you for developing cancer.”

Many such cases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being honest is a crime now? What would we say if genders were swapped here?

Why would it be a crime for her to leave him, as he would leave her?

Isn't that just how it goes? Fine for the goose, fine for the gander.

OP isn't calling the police on him. She's breaking up with him because she disagrees with the conditions he so honestly laid in front of her.

I fully support men leaving their partners if said partners confessed to seeing them as a sperm bank

Do you just not read the posts you respond to, or is it a general inability to understand things?

Did you read the post?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Partner A: I would break it off with an infertile partner

Partner B: I would break it off with someone who would not commit to an infertile partner. Also, I am so much better than you.

Time to pull chute Partner A.[/quote]

This^. Nobody is holier here. Women break up over ADHD and depression because it doesn't work for them.[/quote]

Sounds like that is a good thing, if they can't handle it. Same as for OP and the boyfriend who can't handle things -- they should probably not be together.

This isn't a double standard. It's consistency, which is the exact opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being honest is a crime now? What would we say if genders were swapped here?

Why would it be a crime for her to leave him, as he would leave her?

Isn't that just how it goes? Fine for the goose, fine for the gander.

OP isn't calling the police on him. She's breaking up with him because she disagrees with the conditions he so honestly laid in front of her.

I fully support men leaving their partners if said partners confessed to seeing them as a sperm bank

Do you just not read the posts you respond to, or is it a general inability to understand things?

Did you read the post?

Pro Tip: the part in blue is the part to which you responded. It's been that way on this site for quite some time.

[Anonymous]

It’s nice he is telling you how important kids are are to him before you marry. What if he didn’t tell you until after?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s nice he is telling you how important kids are are to him before you marry. What if he didn’t tell you until after?

I know, right? We can only cheer on his drive to inform all women he dates as soon as possible. That would be a splendid idea for all involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Partner A: I would break it off with an infertile partner

Partner B: I would break it off with someone who would not commit to an infertile partner. Also, I am so much better than you.

Time to pull chute Partner A.

Imagine if your own partner said, “I would divorce you for developing cancer.”

Many such cases.

Anyone who said a partner or spouse that they’d divorce if the other got cancer would be universally judged as a terrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s nice he is telling you how important kids are are to him before you marry. What if he didn’t tell you until after?

Nope, there are lots of ways to have kids with infertility. He’s telling OP how important her uterus is to him.