Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on

[Anonymous]

To be fair, they are judged when they do it without forewarning, as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's a little Henry VIII for my tastes. I think most people instinctual assume/prefer that any children they have will be biologically theirs, but telling your SO that this preference outweighs your desire to build a life with them is nuts.

If you are still willing to marry him I'd have a fertility workup now and make him pay for it. He's making it a condition of marriage it should be at his expense.

Also, the people harping on him would be singing a different tune if OP were a man and his girlfriend had said this.

This^. Double standards because majority of the posters here are women.

People would say he must try to stay with her even if she said she'd leave him if he was physically unable to father children? Is that what you are saying?

Nobody is saying if she should stay or leave, just stating the fact that lots of people date and break up if they aren't compatible. There is no need to assign blame here for personal preferences to move forward or not.

His “personal preference” reflects that he doesn’t truly love his girlfriend. That’s the issue.

Somebody got it. I'm in my right to tell a man that if he loses his job or gets demoted I will no longer be with him, but I shouldn't be naive enough to pretend that he will see this as a mere compatibility issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Partner A: I would break it off with an infertile partner

Partner B: I would break it off with someone who would not commit to an infertile partner. Also, I am so much better than you.

Time to pull chute Partner A.

Imagine if your own partner said, “I would divorce you for developing cancer.”

They aren't married and no one is dying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s nice he is telling you how important kids are are to him before you marry. What if he didn’t tell you until after?

Nope, there are lots of ways to have kids with infertility. He’s telling OP how important her uterus is to him.

Yeah. Like with someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Partner A: I would break it off with an infertile partner

Partner B: I would break it off with someone who would not commit to an infertile partner. Also, I am so much better than you.

Time to pull chute Partner A.

Imagine if your own partner said, “I would divorce you for developing cancer.”

They aren't married and no one is dying.

They’re talking about marriage and kids. If I was dating someone who planned divorce me if I developed cancer (which is very frequently not deadly…), I would break up with them immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is pretty normal. He did say the quiet part out loud. There are pluses and minuses to a person like that.

Odds are that you are both fertile. And he wants kids. Have him take you to pound town and get a bun in the oven. Unless you're finalizing the cure for cancer or have discovered the path to world peace, it's unlikely that you're doing anything more fulfilling than having a baby.

I'm not saving the world but there are many things that i find fulfilling that don't involve babies. OP is clearly uncomfortable with his comments. Would you advise a man to stay with a woman thay says she will leave if he loses his job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s nice he is telling you how important kids are are to him before you marry. What if he didn’t tell you until after?

Nope, there are lots of ways to have kids with infertility. He’s telling OP how important her uterus is to him.

Yeah. Like with someone else.

Again, he’s showing he doesn’t love her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is pretty normal. He did say the quiet part out loud. There are pluses and minuses to a person like that.

Odds are that you are both fertile. And he wants kids. Have him take you to pound town and get a bun in the oven. Unless you're finalizing the cure for cancer or have discovered the path to world peace, it's unlikely that you're doing anything more fulfilling than having a baby.

I'm not saving the world but there are many things that i find fulfilling that don't involve babies. OP is clearly uncomfortable with his comments. Would you advise a man to stay with a woman thay says she will leave if he loses his job?

Most women won't say it, but most women will do it. Not sure what you think you've shown here.

[Anonymous]

Deciding if someone is right or wrong is unimportant.

OP, can have any preference she wants, to leave because her feelings are hurt.

[Anonymous]

To people saying that they're not married, I don't think that matters. This isn't about the type of relationship they have, this is about his character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is pretty normal. He did say the quiet part out loud. There are pluses and minuses to a person like that.

Odds are that you are both fertile. And he wants kids. Have him take you to pound town and get a bun in the oven. Unless you're finalizing the cure for cancer or have discovered the path to world peace, it's unlikely that you're doing anything more fulfilling than having a baby.

I'm not saving the world but there are many things that i find fulfilling that don't involve babies. OP is clearly uncomfortable with his comments. Would you advise a man to stay with a woman thay says she will leave if he loses his job?

Most women won't say it, but most women will do it. Not sure what you think you've shown here.

m

Oh, please. Job losses are very common, and most people don’t divorce over them. People will divorce if someone loses a job and then lays around and refuses to take steps to try to fix the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Deciding if someone is right or wrong is unimportant.

OP, can have any preference she wants, to leave because her feelings are hurt.

I don’t think is about hurt feelings. It’s about revealing that OP’s boyfriend has bad character and obviously isn’t committed to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is pretty normal. He did say the quiet part out loud. There are pluses and minuses to a person like that.

Odds are that you are both fertile. And he wants kids. Have him take you to pound town and get a bun in the oven. Unless you're finalizing the cure for cancer or have discovered the path to world peace, it's unlikely that you're doing anything more fulfilling than having a baby.

I'm not saving the world but there are many things that i find fulfilling that don't involve babies. OP is clearly uncomfortable with his comments. Would you advise a man to stay with a woman thay says she will leave if he loses his job?

Most women won't say it, but most women will do it. Not sure what you think you've shown here.

But if the woman announces it then you can be sure that she's certainly that type and use the information to end the relationship, like most people would.

[Anonymous]

I would not have children with someone who would make such a comment.

[Anonymous]

This is perfectly normal and acceptable; just an incompatibility due to physical limitations. What weird responses in this thread.

None of you would have a problem if a woman dumped her BF because he became unable to support children financially due to a physical ailment.