She wants a very high-quality man—what are her chances?

[Anonymous]

Unless she is willing to go for older and divorced men, its a very long road for men her age to start earning attending money, at minimum 8 and possibly up to 15, no money to spend on her and likely they'll have a hefty amount of debt to pay. They won't get financially settled before 35. If tgey end up in low paying specialties, she would resent them. Her best odd is to marry an investment banker or consultant, who can wine and dine her in their 20's.

[Anonymous]

*8-15 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no shortage of autistic, ADHD, OCD, introverted and quirky men in medicine, many are one truck ponies who were too consumed by their struggle to become a doctor. They are socially awkward and logistically disastrous so they would be happy to have anyone ready to put up with them.

So.very.true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious to hear perspectives on this woman’s chances with high-quality men:

Profile of the Woman:
-Early 20s
-Highly attractive (8–9/10), natural “clean soft girl” aesthetic for her husband
-Well-groomed but minimal makeup / low-maintenance; always clean and polished for her husband
-Quiet, introverted, very shy; very quiet in public
-Homebody, small social circle (has one best friend)
-Polite, very nice, empathetic, caring, people-pleasing, loyal, not manipulative or mean
-Limited dating history, hasn’t dated seriously, but has tried talking to guys online
-Won’t be social with in-laws initially; quiet unless spoken to, warms up gradually if she likes them
-Hates cooking and cleaning, but learning specifically to cook and maintain household perfectly for her future husband
-Lazy with her chores now, but will run a perfect household for her husband
-Excellent at hosting and organizing events
-Always intends to look attractive and well-presented for her husband
-Doesn’t drive (dislikes being out alone)
-Wants marriage/kids, traditional setup
-No specific hobbies, but would enjoy traveling and being a wife and mom
-Lifestyle goals: not super high maintenance

Type of Man She Wants:
-Doctor (cardiologist, orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, pediatrician, etc.), high-earning entrepreneur, or other high-paying professional
-Comes from a good/wealthy family
-Well-educated, went to a good school
-Put-together, stable, takes the lead but values wife equally
-Has friends but not overly social/popular
-Charismatic but not over-the-top
-Relatively attractive, tall, great personality
-Family-oriented, prioritizes wife and children
-Medium work hours; flexible doctor or business owner
-Wants kids as soon as possible
-Will take the lead on finances but values her input for household and family decisions

Questions:
What are her realistic chances of attracting a man like this?
How much do her introverted, very quiet personality and lack of hobbies affect her desirability?
Does her lack of driving or career ambition matter at this level?
How does her selective domestic commitment (hates chores/cooking but perfect for husband, always well-groomed, hosting, caring) play in long-term marriage?
Any other traits or behaviors she should adopt to increase her chances?

Not judging—just genuinely curious what people have actually observed in real life.

High quality men can be difficult to live with. Find a kind and hardworking man.

Some women are fine with living with difficult men if it means having a lot of money and the outward appearance of having a great life. Look at Melania.

This was my mother. So proud of her (third) DH being a doctor. He was mentally ill and alcoholic and committing DV. But hey, things still looked good to her acquaintances!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious to hear perspectives on this woman’s chances with high-quality men:

Profile of the Woman:
-Early 20s
-Highly attractive (8–9/10), natural “clean soft girl” aesthetic for her husband
-Well-groomed but minimal makeup / low-maintenance; always clean and polished for her husband
-Quiet, introverted, very shy; very quiet in public
-Homebody, small social circle (has one best friend)
-Polite, very nice, empathetic, caring, people-pleasing, loyal, not manipulative or mean
-Limited dating history, hasn’t dated seriously, but has tried talking to guys online
-Won’t be social with in-laws initially; quiet unless spoken to, warms up gradually if she likes them
-Hates cooking and cleaning, but learning specifically to cook and maintain household perfectly for her future husband
-Lazy with her chores now, but will run a perfect household for her husband
-Excellent at hosting and organizing events
-Always intends to look attractive and well-presented for her husband
-Doesn’t drive (dislikes being out alone)
-Wants marriage/kids, traditional setup
-No specific hobbies, but would enjoy traveling and being a wife and mom
-Lifestyle goals: not super high maintenance

Type of Man She Wants:
-Doctor (cardiologist, orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, pediatrician, etc.), high-earning entrepreneur, or other high-paying professional
-Comes from a good/wealthy family
-Well-educated, went to a good school
-Put-together, stable, takes the lead but values wife equally
-Has friends but not overly social/popular
-Charismatic but not over-the-top
-Relatively attractive, tall, great personality
-Family-oriented, prioritizes wife and children
-Medium work hours; flexible doctor or business owner
-Wants kids as soon as possible
-Will take the lead on finances but values her input for household and family decisions

Questions:
What are her realistic chances of attracting a man like this?
How much do her introverted, very quiet personality and lack of hobbies affect her desirability?
Does her lack of driving or career ambition matter at this level?
How does her selective domestic commitment (hates chores/cooking but perfect for husband, always well-groomed, hosting, caring) play in long-term marriage?
Any other traits or behaviors she should adopt to increase her chances?

Not judging—just genuinely curious what people have actually observed in real life.

I want to laugh at being a doctor that prioritizes wife and kids. This woman lives in a fairytale. Doctors have very demanding schedules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually think lazy with chores and hates cooking and cleaning is a huge problem only for this type of person.

I know men who married demure, attractive, quiet, unambitious women. However they all cooked well to lure in those men and were very "homemaker"y.

I agree. if she can't cook and don't have intellectual bandwidth for her husband then she would be of no use to him after 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious to hear perspectives on this woman’s chances with high-quality men:

Profile of the Woman:
-Early 20s
-Highly attractive (8–9/10), natural “clean soft girl” aesthetic for her husband
-Well-groomed but minimal makeup / low-maintenance; always clean and polished for her husband
-Quiet, introverted, very shy; very quiet in public
-Homebody, small social circle (has one best friend)
-Polite, very nice, empathetic, caring, people-pleasing, loyal, not manipulative or mean
-Limited dating history, hasn’t dated seriously, but has tried talking to guys online
-Won’t be social with in-laws initially; quiet unless spoken to, warms up gradually if she likes them
-Hates cooking and cleaning, but learning specifically to cook and maintain household perfectly for her future husband
-Lazy with her chores now, but will run a perfect household for her husband
-Excellent at hosting and organizing events
-Always intends to look attractive and well-presented for her husband
-Doesn’t drive (dislikes being out alone)
-Wants marriage/kids, traditional setup
-No specific hobbies, but would enjoy traveling and being a wife and mom
-Lifestyle goals: not super high maintenance

Type of Man She Wants:
-Doctor (cardiologist, orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, pediatrician, etc.), high-earning entrepreneur, or other high-paying professional
-Comes from a good/wealthy family
-Well-educated, went to a good school
-Put-together, stable, takes the lead but values wife equally
-Has friends but not overly social/popular
-Charismatic but not over-the-top
-Relatively attractive, tall, great personality
-Family-oriented, prioritizes wife and children
-Medium work hours; flexible doctor or business owner
-Wants kids as soon as possible
-Will take the lead on finances but values her input for household and family decisions

Questions:
What are her realistic chances of attracting a man like this?
How much do her introverted, very quiet personality and lack of hobbies affect her desirability?
Does her lack of driving or career ambition matter at this level?
How does her selective domestic commitment (hates chores/cooking but perfect for husband, always well-groomed, hosting, caring) play in long-term marriage?
Any other traits or behaviors she should adopt to increase her chances?

Not judging—just genuinely curious what people have actually observed in real life.

Why not? I know of worse women who have found better men.

She should hit up doctors on LinkedIn

[Anonymous]

I don’t really know her chances, but my gut instinct is that she needed to lock down this type before graduating from college. Once men like that are out of college, they’re going to have met so many women who bring more to the table.

She seems like a good match for a clergyman or politician.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really know her chances, but my gut instinct is that she needed to lock down this type before graduating from college. Once men like that are out of college, they’re going to have met so many women who bring more to the table.

She seems like a good match for a clergyman or politician.

Or cult leader

[Anonymous]

High earning big shot guys marry women who are like them. Other very well educated women from similar backgrounds. The days of having a fancy but useless princess trophy wife are largely over. The woman usually leans out from her career when kids come into the picture, but not before that. And even then, it’s a cut back to say, government or non-profit work, “40 hour a week” type jobs from Biglaw or Big Tech etc. It almost doesn’t even matter what she looks like - look at the old NYT wedding announcements - lots of equally horse-faced wealthy WASP couples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High earning big shot guys marry women who are like them. Other very well educated women from similar backgrounds. The days of having a fancy but useless princess trophy wife are largely over. The woman usually leans out from her career when kids come into the picture, but not before that. And even then, it’s a cut back to say, government or non-profit work, “40 hour a week” type jobs from Biglaw or Big Tech etc. It almost doesn’t even matter what she looks like - look at the old NYT wedding announcements - lots of equally horse-faced wealthy WASP couples.

Haha yes OP I am married to what this person is looking for - cardiologist. But I'm a lawyer and we met in college. There has been some leaning in and leaning out on my end but I have my own career and was definitely gung ho about in my 20s and pre kids. We are equals. I fit in great with his friends and colleagues and spouses.

Also most doctors are not rich enough for what you are envisioning. Someone with a chauffeur, cook etc on top of a nanny? This person is clueless even about tht level of wealth she's envisioning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is great at hosting and event organizing then she can handle social life.

She's not. OP said very shy and quiet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High earning big shot guys marry women who are like them. Other very well educated women from similar backgrounds. The days of having a fancy but useless princess trophy wife are largely over. The woman usually leans out from her career when kids come into the picture, but not before that. And even then, it’s a cut back to say, government or non-profit work, “40 hour a week” type jobs from Biglaw or Big Tech etc. It almost doesn’t even matter what she looks like - look at the old NYT wedding announcements - lots of equally horse-faced wealthy WASP couples.

Haha yes OP I am married to what this person is looking for - cardiologist. But I'm a lawyer and we met in college. There has been some leaning in and leaning out on my end but I have my own career and was definitely gung ho about in my 20s and pre kids. We are equals. I fit in great with his friends and colleagues and spouses.

Also most doctors are not rich enough for what you are envisioning. Someone with a chauffeur, cook etc on top of a nanny? This person is clueless even about tht level of wealth she's envisioning.

That too. She’s trying to marry into essentially generational wealth or like, investment banking levels of money. Good luck with that if you’re not from that type of background yourself!

[Anonymous]

I have no idea about her specifically but the things I know are:
- it’s all very much a matter of chance
- being quiet/reserved/shy is rarely an advantage if ever
- not knowing how to drive is never an advantage

The rest is just chance I think

[Anonymous]

You can get a man but you better never have "a headache"