She wants a very high-quality man—what are her chances?
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Anonymous
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Curious to hear perspectives on this woman’s chances with high-quality men:
Profile of the Woman: -Early 20s -Highly attractive (8–9/10), natural “clean soft girl” aesthetic for her husband -Well-groomed but minimal makeup / low-maintenance; always clean and polished for her husband -Quiet, introverted, very shy; very quiet in public -Homebody, small social circle (has one best friend) -Polite, very nice, empathetic, caring, people-pleasing, loyal, not manipulative or mean -Limited dating history, hasn’t dated seriously, but has tried talking to guys online -Won’t be social with in-laws initially; quiet unless spoken to, warms up gradually if she likes them -Hates cooking and cleaning, but learning specifically to cook and maintain household perfectly for her future husband -Lazy with her chores now, but will run a perfect household for her husband -Excellent at hosting and organizing events -Always intends to look attractive and well-presented for her husband -Doesn’t drive (dislikes being out alone) -Wants marriage/kids, traditional setup -No specific hobbies, but would enjoy traveling and being a wife and mom -Lifestyle goals: not super high maintenance Type of Man She Wants: -Doctor (cardiologist, orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, pediatrician, etc.), high-earning entrepreneur, or other high-paying professional -Comes from a good/wealthy family -Well-educated, went to a good school -Put-together, stable, takes the lead but values wife equally -Has friends but not overly social/popular -Charismatic but not over-the-top -Relatively attractive, tall, great personality -Family-oriented, prioritizes wife and children -Medium work hours; flexible doctor or business owner -Wants kids as soon as possible -Will take the lead on finances but values her input for household and family decisions Questions: What are her realistic chances of attracting a man like this? How much do her introverted, very quiet personality and lack of hobbies affect her desirability? Does her lack of driving or career ambition matter at this level? How does her selective domestic commitment (hates chores/cooking but perfect for husband, always well-groomed, hosting, caring) play in long-term marriage? Any other traits or behaviors she should adopt to increase her chances? Not judging—just genuinely curious what people have actually observed in real life. |
Anonymous
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This is creepy.
She won't be able to sustain the act long-term of caring about and doing things "for" her husband that she doesn't actually care about herself, so she may be able to achieve the marriage for a while but she'll find it hard to play a character for that long. Her shyness means she won't be able to host well or network well (though she will try it will always seem a little forced) so that isn't good. A man like that will get bored of her long-term unless he is very controlling or very insecure. |
Anonymous
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I actually think lazy with chores and hates cooking and cleaning is a huge problem only for this type of person.
I know men who married demure, attractive, quiet, unambitious women. However they all cooked well to lure in those men and were very "homemaker"y. |
Anonymous
| 0% |
Anonymous
(Only for this type of women because I know doctors married to ambitious, talkative go-getters and they love it. But they can hire help). |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Her not driving will be embarrassing to him. And inconvenient. It will seem like something is wrong with her, like she wants to be a baby passenger princess forever.
She can get a nanny to help but still, with multiple kids, parents still have to drive or they can't all do activities. She needs to make her peace with being the second wife and putting up with stepchildren, because what you describe is not going to attract a true peer husband her age. So she's going to have to settle in some way. And it's probably this since she wants a man with money yet medium hours. That means an older man. |
Anonymous
The bolded are all problems. They indicate someone who is passive to the point of being withdrawn from the world. A high quality man wants someone who they can show off, who is also engaged in "the game of life." |
Anonymous
On a scale of what?
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Anonymous
| Are you asking for someone you know? |
Anonymous
Yes, a cousin. Forgot to add that she’s never worked and doesn’t plan to ever work. |
Anonymous
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This is strange. Are these people in the US? This has no connection to dating as I have experienced it.
The woman sounds potentially autistic. |
Anonymous
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Bwaha ha ha.
"High quality". Pardon me. "Very high quality". You just meant rich, OP. I am a shy, soft-girl type of person who married a doctor at 23. I learned to cook when my oldest child was born. I still hate chores and the house is always cluttered and messy. I never pretended I was anything other than what I am, and he didn't either. Key point: my husband wasn't wealthy then, but he is wealthy now, 20 years later. Neither of us married for money. You've got to take risks, OP. You cannot expect an already-made person to suddenly take a liking to you, and you can't demand of yourself that you fake being a home-maker. Be honest and sincere and find someone who is honest and sincere. You will be happier that way. |
Anonymous
Man's perspective here: You seem to view yourself entirely as a prospective accessory to the man you want. You spend a lot of time talking about your appearance (and you seem to have a very high opinion of yourself) but nothing that makes you interesting or gives you any sort of personality. You sound kind of boring, frankly, and this assertion that you're going to suddenly overcome your inherent laziness to please a man is unconvincing. Your lack of ambition (except for landing a man who will knock you up ASAP) is not very attractive, either. While it's fine to have standards, your ideal man is a fantasy or at the very least a unicorn. A high-earning doctor or entrepreneur is not likely to have "medium work hours" or have that flexible a job schedule; they are going to have high and constant professional demands. Your expectations for limited friends and charisma are also weird. Do answer your specific questions: -- Your chances aren't particularly realistic. Sorry, they're just not. Too many contradictions in your wish list, and ambitious, successful men generally want the same in a partner, and you've already said that's not you. You could be hot and demure as hell, and he'll shaboink you, but he isn't going to marry you. -- You're not very interesting. Being an introvert isn't a strike. But the blah personality and lack of interests really is a turnoff. -- As said, yes, your lack of drive is going to be a turnoff for the type of man you seek. -- "Selective domestic commitment" = laziness. Huge turnoff. Hard pass. -- To improve your chances, get a personality, get some interests, and develop a work ethic. |
Anonymous
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Dislikes being out alone? Come on. This is someone with a serious anxiety problem who is looking to avoid adult responsibilities. Her social aversion will make parenting hard, and will mean she is easily taken advantage of.
She lacks education and that will be embarrassing to him, even if he's willing to let that slide now. Other wives and mothers will be polite to her but not really include her or see her as a peer. He needs to ask himself what kind of intelligence DNA he wants in his kids. |