She wants a very high-quality man—what are her chances?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unemployed for life: strike one

Mental health issues: strike two

No life: strike three.

Honestly, she sounds kind of incel-ish. She needs a life outside of brushing her hair and looking in the mirror. For her own sake.

Interesting. It does sound like the entitled flipside of that, doesn’t it?

Yes. Very high expectations in a partner, while doing nothing to make herself worthy of such a partner. Incel, whether male or female.

She isn’t an incel. She’s apparently attractive so she will find men willing to shaboink her if she wants to put out. But they won’t marry it.

Being “shaboinkable” doesn’t exclude her from being a female incel. Men will shaboink anything from a goat to a literal hole in the wall.

You clearly don't know what an "incel" means. It means "involuntarily celibate." As you just acknowledgd, a man will happily shaboink her if she wants it. Ergo, she cannot be an incel.

[Anonymous]

I posted this as a joke…

-Has zero education, but will education perfectly for her future husband.

…and I can’t believe I needed to clarify this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You do understand she's autistic, OP?

This is a trainwreck in the making.

My husband and I are on the spectrum, and we're a doctor-scientist couple. He didn't want someone with no education. Even though my career was severely mommy-tracked, I have several graduate diplomas. I was terrified of driving. I forced myself to learn anyway. We maintain a very small circle of friends, because we're very introverted.

Your girl needs to push herself, even if the goal is finding an autistic professional who is willing to tolerate some personality quirks. I am surrounded by doctors of various cultures and ethnicities (European, Middle East, Asia and East Asia). NONE OF THEM WANT VAPID WIVES.

Similar to my husband and me. We both have advanced degrees. My husband, in particular, does not socialize with people who can't keep up intellectually. I'm pretty smart, and he's constantly correcting and mansplaining to me. There is no world where he'd live with someone without at least a college degree, unless they dropped out of college for a tech company and exited at a $1b+ valuation. Our son also dates girls who are intellectually equal.

[Anonymous]

Troll!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious to hear perspectives on this woman’s chances with high-quality men:

Profile of the Woman:
-Early 20s
-Highly attractive (8–9/10), natural “clean soft girl” aesthetic for her husband
-Well-groomed but minimal makeup / low-maintenance; always clean and polished for her husband
-Quiet, introverted, very shy; very quiet in public
-Homebody, small social circle (has one best friend)
-Polite, very nice, empathetic, caring, people-pleasing, loyal, not manipulative or mean
-Limited dating history, hasn’t dated seriously, but has tried talking to guys online
-Won’t be social with in-laws initially; quiet unless spoken to, warms up gradually if she likes them
-Hates cooking and cleaning, but learning specifically to cook and maintain household perfectly for her future husband
-Lazy with her chores now, but will run a perfect household for her husband
-Excellent at hosting and organizing events
-Always intends to look attractive and well-presented for her husband
-Doesn’t drive (dislikes being out alone)
-Wants marriage/kids, traditional setup
-No specific hobbies, but would enjoy traveling and being a wife and mom
-Lifestyle goals: not super high maintenance

Type of Man She Wants:
-Doctor (cardiologist, orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, pediatrician, etc.), high-earning entrepreneur, or other high-paying professional
-Comes from a good/wealthy family
-Well-educated, went to a good school
-Put-together, stable, takes the lead but values wife equally
-Has friends but not overly social/popular
-Charismatic but not over-the-top
-Relatively attractive, tall, great personality
-Family-oriented, prioritizes wife and children
-Medium work hours; flexible doctor or business owner
-Wants kids as soon as possible
-Will take the lead on finances but values her input for household and family decisions

Questions:
What are her realistic chances of attracting a man like this?
How much do her introverted, very quiet personality and lack of hobbies affect her desirability?
Does her lack of driving or career ambition matter at this level?
How does her selective domestic commitment (hates chores/cooking but perfect for husband, always well-groomed, hosting, caring) play in long-term marriage?
Any other traits or behaviors she should adopt to increase her chances?

Not judging—just genuinely curious what people have actually observed in real life.

Pediatrician makes nothing.

[Anonymous]

The not driving is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: doctors...answer the question...what does this candidate have that a bright, pretty nurse does not?

And this woman will have to keep answering that question for decades.

Ummm … or bright pretty other doctors.

OP posits a marriage of unequals, career wise. Doctor-nurse is a classic marriage and/or affair scenario.

Two doctor marriages are "normal" to me.

You must not be a doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you asking for someone you know?

Yes, a cousin. Forgot to add that she’s never worked and doesn’t plan to ever work.

Hahaha, she has no idea how life works, that’s why she has completely unrealistic expectations of what it takes to be a high earning doctor or a business owner in his 20s-30s. Her only choices are a much older man or a trust fund baby. However, the latter are usually picky about breeding or their parents are - her lack of social skills would be a problem, probably a trashy family of origin too. I say the chances of getting what she wants are 0.

[Anonymous]

She sounds really boring. Is she from an academic background where she will meet these kind of people? Or impress or fit in with their social circle?

Agree this has a creepy Stepford vibe.

[Anonymous]

She is 20 and only half way through the college, too early to write her off. For all we know, she was kidding listing her wants.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't want responsibilities. She wants a parent replacement.

While she's waiting for Prince Charming to find her, she ought to eventually get a career of some kind to support herself even if just for a while.

I know someone who volunteered at a hospital in order to meet a doctor to marry and she succeeded. But this was around 1965.

I remember when I was around 19 wishing I could get married and not have to work because it seemed like my education for what I wanted to do was going to take forever. I questioned myself, would I really succeed, etc. It sounded so nice if I could just opt out. This idea went away as I got more confident.

[Anonymous]

Every bottle has a cap, she'll find someone quirky to compliment her quirks, may not check all of her boxes but enough to make it work.

[Anonymous]

There is no shortage of autistic, ADHD, OCD, introverted and quirky men in medicine, many are one truck ponies who were too consumed by their struggle to become a doctor. They are socially awkward and logistically disastrous so they would be happy to have anyone ready to put up with them.

[Anonymous]

One trick

[Anonymous]

Is this for you OP?

Or are you simply asking for a friend?? 😉

If the girl is indeed young as well as pretty, then she likely can snag any guy she wants to snag since those two requirements usually top ALL of men’s list for what they prioritize when seeking a mate.