She wants a very high-quality man—what are her chances?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP here, update. So my younger cousin is home from school visiting, and we talked, and I told her everything that was said here. She still thinks she’s capable of finding that kind of man. I told her she needs to be more independent (like driving), and she said she’ll think about it and work on it later, when she actually needs to. She doesn’t really see the need to drive right now, but says if it becomes necessary in the future—like when she has kids and needs to handle school activities or emergencies—then she’ll learn. That’s mainly why she hasn’t prioritized it so far.

I also feel like I may have made her sound kind of helpless and bland, isn’t really accurate. She’s actually great with kids, very smart, self-aware, and aware of what’s going on around her and in the world. She’s always done really well in school too (4.0). She’s not clueless at all—she just lacks motivation when it comes to working or pursuing a career. The shyness is just part of her personality. She also doesn’t really have specific hobbies like yoga, sports, etc., but she is busy with school—she reads more in-depth material and does a lot of writing which she enjoys. Most of her time is spent doing schoolwork and spending time with family, so she’s not just wasting time. As for life skills like cooking and cleaning, she’s perfectly capable once she learns—she just didn’t have much experience before but is starting to learn now. She’s been asking me what kinds of meals men typically like, and I’ve been helping her learn how to cook—she’s actually doing really well with it.

You guys might assume, based on her age, that she’d be interested in someone her own age, but she’s actually very set on finding an older, more established man. She’s still very hopeful and set on this. She’s 21, a junior in college, and specifically interested in an older, more established man (she said up to ~15 years older but not much beyond that). She’s not really interested in guys her own age due to finances and just thinks they’re too young.

Her main question now is where she would even meet someone like this—like specific cities, places, or settings where older, established men tend to be. Are there certain apps, social scenes, or environments where this is more common? She says she’s willing to put in the effort to make it happen.

If she’s a really good student, and she wants to meet a doctor to marry, she should go to medical school. That’s where they are.

I’m a psychiatrist. I spent most of residency talking deeply and pontificating. It was great. And now I have a job that I like that’s very easy to do part time.

+1
The best place to meet those types is where you become one yourself. I’m a doctor and met my doctor husband during grad school.

BTW women prefer their equals. More and more men these days do too. It’s the insecure men who will marry down - and upgrade later.

While some doctors and lawyers seek to marry others doctors and lawyers, many do not prefer partners who are their equals. This is because these women typically aren’t willing to abandon their careers to become SAHM. Instead, these high-profile doctors and lawyers are often more attracted to beautiful nurses and legal assistants. The same goes for numerous successful businessmen.

I understand that your feminist side may not agree, but this is the reality.

Sure, a doctor may go for a nurse or a lawyer a paralegal but here we are talking about a helpless college student who wants no career and can’t drive a car. What successful man is looking for that?

Exactly. Those are women who have shown their energy, initiative, and intelligence. No they're not splitting atoms, but you don't get through nursing school or being a good paralegal without some smarts. Totally different from someone with zero initiative and zero accomplishments.

OP’s cousin is smart. She is a 4.0 student. She’s intelligent. She’s just not interested in a career.

She is not interested in driving a car or having other basic life skills you would expect of a teenager, what man wants someone this helpless?

Tons do. A lot of women here seem to be hating on this girl. Shes smart, pretty, and young. She’ll be able to find someone.

Just make sure she doesn't sign a prenup. Otherwise when she's fifty she might need to figure out how to take a bus to her first job. Unless she has a massive trust fund? Op didn't mention if prospective wife had a dowery. Does she?

Doesn’t feminism mean allowing women to choose what they want to do with their life? She can choose not to work or drive a car. Everyone doesn’t have to live, the same way that you do. Her life, her choices to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, update. So my younger cousin is home from school visiting, and we talked, and I told her everything that was said here. She still thinks she’s capable of finding that kind of man. I told her she needs to be more independent (like driving), and she said she’ll think about it and work on it later, when she actually needs to. She doesn’t really see the need to drive right now, but says if it becomes necessary in the future—like when she has kids and needs to handle school activities or emergencies—then she’ll learn. That’s mainly why she hasn’t prioritized it so far.

I also feel like I may have made her sound kind of helpless and bland, isn’t really accurate. She’s actually great with kids, very smart, self-aware, and aware of what’s going on around her and in the world. She’s always done really well in school too (4.0). She’s not clueless at all—she just lacks motivation when it comes to working or pursuing a career. The shyness is just part of her personality. She also doesn’t really have specific hobbies like yoga, sports, etc., but she is busy with school—she reads more in-depth material and does a lot of writing which she enjoys. Most of her time is spent doing schoolwork and spending time with family, so she’s not just wasting time. As for life skills like cooking and cleaning, she’s perfectly capable once she learns—she just didn’t have much experience before but is starting to learn now. She’s been asking me what kinds of meals men typically like, and I’ve been helping her learn how to cook—she’s actually doing really well with it.

You guys might assume, based on her age, that she’d be interested in someone her own age, but she’s actually very set on finding an older, more established man. She’s still very hopeful and set on this. She’s 21, a junior in college, and specifically interested in an older, more established man (she said up to ~15 years older but not much beyond that). She’s not really interested in guys her own age due to finances and just thinks they’re too young.

Her main question now is where she would even meet someone like this—like specific cities, places, or settings where older, established men tend to be. Are there certain apps, social scenes, or environments where this is more common? She says she’s willing to put in the effort to make it happen.

If she’s a really good student, and she wants to meet a doctor to marry, she should go to medical school. That’s where they are.

I’m a psychiatrist. I spent most of residency talking deeply and pontificating. It was great. And now I have a job that I like that’s very easy to do part time.

+1
The best place to meet those types is where you become one yourself. I’m a doctor and met my doctor husband during grad school.

BTW women prefer their equals. More and more men these days do too. It’s the insecure men who will marry down - and upgrade later.

While some doctors and lawyers seek to marry others doctors and lawyers, many do not prefer partners who are their equals. This is because these women typically aren’t willing to abandon their careers to become SAHM. Instead, these high-profile doctors and lawyers are often more attracted to beautiful nurses and legal assistants. The same goes for numerous successful businessmen.

I understand that your feminist side may not agree, but this is the reality.

Sure, a doctor may go for a nurse or a lawyer a paralegal but here we are talking about a helpless college student who wants no career and can’t drive a car. What successful man is looking for that?

Exactly. Those are women who have shown their energy, initiative, and intelligence. No they're not splitting atoms, but you don't get through nursing school or being a good paralegal without some smarts. Totally different from someone with zero initiative and zero accomplishments.

OP’s cousin is smart. She is a 4.0 student. She’s intelligent. She’s just not interested in a career.

She is not interested in driving a car or having other basic life skills you would expect of a teenager, what man wants someone this helpless?

Tons do. A lot of women here seem to be hating on this girl. Shes smart, pretty, and young. She’ll be able to find someone.

Just make sure she doesn't sign a prenup. Otherwise when she's fifty she might need to figure out how to take a bus to her first job. Unless she has a massive trust fund? Op didn't mention if prospective wife had a dowery. Does she?

Doesn’t feminism mean allowing women to choose what they want to do with their life? She can choose not to work or drive a car. Everyone doesn’t have to live, the same way that you do. Her life, her choices to make.

Feminism totes. But, if she is choosing to have no life skills and be dependent on a man, as a taxpayer I don't want to be responsible for paying her bills in a few decades when she is pushed to the curb and she's suddenly a trembling senior citizen who successfully avoided developing life skills or an income of her own.

So call this my feminist cry.... I don't want to pay some passive divorced woman bills when she can't find a man to do it.

So, do female taxpayers have a choice? Or just the live in the moment brides?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, update. So my younger cousin is home from school visiting, and we talked, and I told her everything that was said here. She still thinks she’s capable of finding that kind of man. I told her she needs to be more independent (like driving), and she said she’ll think about it and work on it later, when she actually needs to. She doesn’t really see the need to drive right now, but says if it becomes necessary in the future—like when she has kids and needs to handle school activities or emergencies—then she’ll learn. That’s mainly why she hasn’t prioritized it so far.

I also feel like I may have made her sound kind of helpless and bland, isn’t really accurate. She’s actually great with kids, very smart, self-aware, and aware of what’s going on around her and in the world. She’s always done really well in school too (4.0). She’s not clueless at all—she just lacks motivation when it comes to working or pursuing a career. The shyness is just part of her personality. She also doesn’t really have specific hobbies like yoga, sports, etc., but she is busy with school—she reads more in-depth material and does a lot of writing which she enjoys. Most of her time is spent doing schoolwork and spending time with family, so she’s not just wasting time. As for life skills like cooking and cleaning, she’s perfectly capable once she learns—she just didn’t have much experience before but is starting to learn now. She’s been asking me what kinds of meals men typically like, and I’ve been helping her learn how to cook—she’s actually doing really well with it.

You guys might assume, based on her age, that she’d be interested in someone her own age, but she’s actually very set on finding an older, more established man. She’s still very hopeful and set on this. She’s 21, a junior in college, and specifically interested in an older, more established man (she said up to ~15 years older but not much beyond that). She’s not really interested in guys her own age due to finances and just thinks they’re too young.

Her main question now is where she would even meet someone like this—like specific cities, places, or settings where older, established men tend to be. Are there certain apps, social scenes, or environments where this is more common? She says she’s willing to put in the effort to make it happen.

If she’s a really good student, and she wants to meet a doctor to marry, she should go to medical school. That’s where they are.

I’m a psychiatrist. I spent most of residency talking deeply and pontificating. It was great. And now I have a job that I like that’s very easy to do part time.

+1
The best place to meet those types is where you become one yourself. I’m a doctor and met my doctor husband during grad school.

BTW women prefer their equals. More and more men these days do too. It’s the insecure men who will marry down - and upgrade later.

While some doctors and lawyers seek to marry others doctors and lawyers, many do not prefer partners who are their equals. This is because these women typically aren’t willing to abandon their careers to become SAHM. Instead, these high-profile doctors and lawyers are often more attracted to beautiful nurses and legal assistants. The same goes for numerous successful businessmen.

I understand that your feminist side may not agree, but this is the reality.

Sure, a doctor may go for a nurse or a lawyer a paralegal but here we are talking about a helpless college student who wants no career and can’t drive a car. What successful man is looking for that?

Exactly. Those are women who have shown their energy, initiative, and intelligence. No they're not splitting atoms, but you don't get through nursing school or being a good paralegal without some smarts. Totally different from someone with zero initiative and zero accomplishments.

OP’s cousin is smart. She is a 4.0 student. She’s intelligent. She’s just not interested in a career.

She is not interested in driving a car or having other basic life skills you would expect of a teenager, what man wants someone this helpless?

Tons do. A lot of women here seem to be hating on this girl. Shes smart, pretty, and young. She’ll be able to find someone.

Just make sure she doesn't sign a prenup. Otherwise when she's fifty she might need to figure out how to take a bus to her first job. Unless she has a massive trust fund? Op didn't mention if prospective wife had a dowery. Does she?

Doesn’t feminism mean allowing women to choose what they want to do with their life? She can choose not to work or drive a car. Everyone doesn’t have to live, the same way that you do. Her life, her choices to make.

Feminism is about personal responsibility, not self actualization. People make that mistake all the time. Doesn't matter if it is a non driving high quality passive woman or a yoga obsessed house husband. Personal choice means thinking it through. Does yoga househusband or non driving passive bride have a long term plan if the choice of the moment doesn't work out?