She wants a very high-quality man—what are her chances?

[Anonymous]

Considering women now out number men 60 to 40 in undergrad, the odds of an uneducated woman pulling an educated man are lower than ever. Less than 5% for marriage?

[Anonymous]

She’s setting herself up to attract a narcissistic and controlling man. Those are attracted to her type because they want to be able to call all the shots and will take advantage of her naiveté and gullibilty.

Someone needs to care enough to warn her now, while she still can work towards a meaningful degree and a good career. She should be able to support herself and any kids if her marriage crumbles when her equally-shallow spouse decides to trade up for a newer, younger version in midlife.

Direct her to the student counseling center for personal counseling and career help. And she needs to learn how to drive.

Someone this clueless and lacking in practical life skills is nowhere near ready for marriage and kids.

[Anonymous]

If one can't drive, cook, clean, work and socialize, how would they survive if life takes any wrong turn? Is she a trust fund baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is strange. Are these people in the US? This has no connection to dating as I have experienced it.

The woman sounds potentially autistic.

Being shy or not having friends doesn’t make someone autistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s setting herself up to attract a narcissistic and controlling man. Those are attracted to her type because they want to be able to call all the shots and will take advantage of her naiveté and gullibilty.

Someone needs to care enough to warn her now, while she still can work towards a meaningful degree and a good career. She should be able to support herself and any kids if her marriage crumbles when her equally-shallow spouse decides to trade up for a newer, younger version in midlife.

Direct her to the student counseling center for personal counseling and career help. And she needs to learn how to drive.

Someone this clueless and lacking in practical life skills is nowhere near ready for marriage and kids.

+1

No job
No friends or interest in making them
No driving

This feels like a scary situation waiting to happen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post is incredibly creepy.

Isn’t it? Its giving the same parched, ominous energy as the person who wrote that scathing parody of the OP trying to avoid running into The Real Weirdos of the DMV. Hide your kids, hide your husbands.

[Anonymous]

She should go for an Indian doctor whose mother is willing to do all the housekeeping and childcare while she sits around and looks pretty. That’s what my own similar cousin did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious to hear perspectives on this woman’s chances with high-quality men:

Profile of the Woman:
-Early 20s
-Highly attractive (8–9/10), natural “clean soft girl” aesthetic for her husband
-Well-groomed but minimal makeup / low-maintenance; always clean and polished for her husband
-Quiet, introverted, very shy; very quiet in public
-Homebody, small social circle (has one best friend)
-Polite, very nice, empathetic, caring, people-pleasing, loyal, not manipulative or mean
-Limited dating history, hasn’t dated seriously, but has tried talking to guys online
-Won’t be social with in-laws initially; quiet unless spoken to, warms up gradually if she likes them
-Hates cooking and cleaning, but learning specifically to cook and maintain household perfectly for her future husband
-Lazy with her chores now, but will run a perfect household for her husband
-Excellent at hosting and organizing events
-Always intends to look attractive and well-presented for her husband
-Doesn’t drive (dislikes being out alone)
-Wants marriage/kids, traditional setup
-No specific hobbies, but would enjoy traveling and being a wife and mom
-Lifestyle goals: not super high maintenance

Type of Man She Wants:
-Doctor (cardiologist, orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, pediatrician, etc.), high-earning entrepreneur, or other high-paying professional
-Comes from a good/wealthy family
-Well-educated, went to a good school
-Put-together, stable, takes the lead but values wife equally
-Has friends but not overly social/popular
-Charismatic but not over-the-top
-Relatively attractive, tall, great personality
-Family-oriented, prioritizes wife and children
-Medium work hours; flexible doctor or business owner
-Wants kids as soon as possible
-Will take the lead on finances but values her input for household and family decisions

Questions:
What are her realistic chances of attracting a man like this?
How much do her introverted, very quiet personality and lack of hobbies affect her desirability?
Does her lack of driving or career ambition matter at this level?
How does her selective domestic commitment (hates chores/cooking but perfect for husband, always well-groomed, hosting, caring) play in long-term marriage?
Any other traits or behaviors she should adopt to increase her chances?

Not judging—just genuinely curious what people have actually observed in real life.

This is not reality and there are contradictions in each profile. Get real.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she has anxiety about supporting herself and finding a job, is flailing and thinks somehow she'll have a man fix it for her.

What's actually going on here is she's graduating into a scary economy and can't see a way out. I get it, I graduated into the 2008 recession and had to pivot my plans extensively. My now spouse and I both had internships and jobs canceled when the companies switched to mass layoffs. I started grad school earlier than I had planned and we had to be long distance for a year.

Anyway, it's scary to be 20 right now, no question. This isn't a reasonable backup plan, though.

[Anonymous]

This is why passport bros is a real and thriving thing.

[Anonymous]

Does she care how he behaves toward her and others? I don’t see kindness anywhere on the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should go for an Indian doctor whose mother is willing to do all the housekeeping and childcare while she sits around and looks pretty. That’s what my own similar cousin did.

Lol maybe after kids. No Indian MIL is cooking endlessly for her DIL on day 1. And most of the DILs work even if married to high earning men and certainly they did coming into the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Super shy but wants a husband with lots of personality? Super shy but is a great hostess? Sorry, but no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should go for an Indian doctor whose mother is willing to do all the housekeeping and childcare while she sits around and looks pretty. That’s what my own similar cousin did.

Lol maybe after kids. No Indian MIL is cooking endlessly for her DIL on day 1. And most of the DILs work even if married to high earning men and certainly they did coming into the relationship.

All I know is that my cousin (white) pulled this off. She doesn’t lift a finger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why passport bros is a real and thriving thing.

We are South Asians and 98% of US born and raised kids say no to marrying someone from there due to fear they are into it for American passports. They either marry other US born South Asians or other race and ethnicities born here.