Can we have a rational discussion about going Greek?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son had an interesting take on it. He’s had several fraternities reach out to him but he isn’t interested. In his opinion it’s A. Weird to pay for friends B. More about gaining social protection by subjugating your will and moral compass to a group and C Limiting as he enjoys bringing together different groups of people. My daughter had a slightly different but similar opinion that she didn’t want some other group picking and dictating her friends for her. She is shockingly beautiful so the queen bees always zero in on her to get her to join their cliques and she’s always rebuffed them, picked her own friends.

Both kids have a strong protect the weaker person ethos and can’t stand people who reject or pick on people to boost their own popularity. Greek life seems to attract people willing to follow not lead, and prey on the weaker people rather than defend.

Why does anyone think you are paying for friends? That’s the most nonsensical comment…I mean my kid pays dues and it includes housing and food (and yeah party expenses) but it’s just slightly more than what the school would charge for room and board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son had an interesting take on it. He’s had several fraternities reach out to him but he isn’t interested. In his opinion it’s A. Weird to pay for friends B. More about gaining social protection by subjugating your will and moral compass to a group and C Limiting as he enjoys bringing together different groups of people. My daughter had a slightly different but similar opinion that she didn’t want some other group picking and dictating her friends for her. She is shockingly beautiful so the queen bees always zero in on her to get her to join their cliques and she’s always rebuffed them, picked her own friends.

Both kids have a strong protect the weaker person ethos and can’t stand people who reject or pick on people to boost their own popularity. Greek life seems to attract people willing to follow not lead, and prey on the weaker people rather than defend.

Why does anyone think you are paying for friends? That’s the most nonsensical comment…I mean my kid pays dues and it includes housing and food (and yeah party expenses) but it’s just slightly more than what the school would charge for room and board.

Same here. I'm telling you, it's jealousy. It really is.

[Anonymous]

Both kids have a strong protect the weaker person ethos and can’t stand people who reject or pick on people to boost their own popularity. Greek life seems to attract people willing to follow not lead, and prey on the weaker people rather than defend.

I get the whole ethos, but the comment about who Greek Life “seems to attract” is too much. A lot of leadership in Greek life. Sorry that you don’t agree with it -
doesn’t mean you need to attack people’s character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son had an interesting take on it. He’s had several fraternities reach out to him but he isn’t interested. In his opinion it’s A. Weird to pay for friends B. More about gaining social protection by subjugating your will and moral compass to a group and C Limiting as he enjoys bringing together different groups of people. My daughter had a slightly different but similar opinion that she didn’t want some other group picking and dictating her friends for her. She is shockingly beautiful so the queen bees always zero in on her to get her to join their cliques and she’s always rebuffed them, picked her own friends.

Both kids have a strong protect the weaker person ethos and can’t stand people who reject or pick on people to boost their own popularity. Greek life seems to attract people willing to follow not lead, and prey on the weaker people rather than defend.

Why does anyone think you are paying for friends? That’s the most nonsensical comment…I mean my kid pays dues and it includes housing and food (and yeah party expenses) but it’s just slightly more than what the school would charge for room and board.

Same here. I'm telling you, it's jealousy. It really is.

It’s really not. It’s a cheap shot, but not a real stretch as to why they say that. I was in a sorority and lived in house, I know all about the expenses. I genuinely don’t think adults are jealous of a college Greek life they wish they had? I think if anyone is jealous of anything, it’s of kids getting into elite schools, full-ride scholarships, and the like. Greek life is great for many (was for me), but come on, it’s nothing that is haunting people as they ooze with jealousy. This is crazy thinking and I have such a tough time rationalizing how grown adults think like this. Anyone here is well past college glory days!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son had an interesting take on it. He’s had several fraternities reach out to him but he isn’t interested. In his opinion it’s A. Weird to pay for friends B. More about gaining social protection by subjugating your will and moral compass to a group and C Limiting as he enjoys bringing together different groups of people. My daughter had a slightly different but similar opinion that she didn’t want some other group picking and dictating her friends for her. She is shockingly beautiful so the queen bees always zero in on her to get her to join their cliques and she’s always rebuffed them, picked her own friends.

Both kids have a strong protect the weaker person ethos and can’t stand people who reject or pick on people to boost their own popularity. Greek life seems to attract people willing to follow not lead, and prey on the weaker people rather than defend.

Why does anyone think you are paying for friends? That’s the most nonsensical comment…I mean my kid pays dues and it includes housing and food (and yeah party expenses) but it’s just slightly more than what the school would charge for room and board.

Same here. I'm telling you, it's jealousy. It really is.

NP but it’s clearly not when the kid has been turning down offers to join. You seem very stuck on the idea that you have The One True Answer and no other possibility may be considered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son had an interesting take on it. He’s had several fraternities reach out to him but he isn’t interested. In his opinion it’s A. Weird to pay for friends B. More about gaining social protection by subjugating your will and moral compass to a group and C Limiting as he enjoys bringing together different groups of people. My daughter had a slightly different but similar opinion that she didn’t want some other group picking and dictating her friends for her. She is shockingly beautiful so the queen bees always zero in on her to get her to join their cliques and she’s always rebuffed them, picked her own friends.

Both kids have a strong protect the weaker person ethos and can’t stand people who reject or pick on people to boost their own popularity. Greek life seems to attract people willing to follow not lead, and prey on the weaker people rather than defend.

Why does anyone think you are paying for friends? That’s the most nonsensical comment…I mean my kid pays dues and it includes housing and food (and yeah party expenses) but it’s just slightly more than what the school would charge for room and board.

Same here. I'm telling you, it's jealousy. It really is.

NP but it’s clearly not when the kid has been turning down offers to join. You seem very stuck on the idea that you have The One True Answer and no other possibility may be considered.

The kid wasn't "turning down offers to join." That's not how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son had an interesting take on it. He’s had several fraternities reach out to him but he isn’t interested. In his opinion it’s A. Weird to pay for friends B. More about gaining social protection by subjugating your will and moral compass to a group and C Limiting as he enjoys bringing together different groups of people. My daughter had a slightly different but similar opinion that she didn’t want some other group picking and dictating her friends for her. She is shockingly beautiful so the queen bees always zero in on her to get her to join their cliques and she’s always rebuffed them, picked her own friends.

Both kids have a strong protect the weaker person ethos and can’t stand people who reject or pick on people to boost their own popularity. Greek life seems to attract people willing to follow not lead, and prey on the weaker people rather than defend.

Why does anyone think you are paying for friends? That’s the most nonsensical comment…I mean my kid pays dues and it includes housing and food (and yeah party expenses) but it’s just slightly more than what the school would charge for room and board.

Same here. I'm telling you, it's jealousy. It really is.

It’s really not. It’s a cheap shot, but not a real stretch as to why they say that. I was in a sorority and lived in house, I know all about the expenses. I genuinely don’t think adults are jealous of a college Greek life they wish they had? I think if anyone is jealous of anything, it’s of kids getting into elite schools, full-ride scholarships, and the like. Greek life is great for many (was for me), but come on, it’s nothing that is haunting people as they ooze with jealousy. This is crazy thinking and I have such a tough time rationalizing how grown adults think like this. Anyone here is well past college glory days!

They're jealous that their KIDS can't get in. That's why I mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son had an interesting take on it. He’s had several fraternities reach out to him but he isn’t interested. In his opinion it’s A. Weird to pay for friends B. More about gaining social protection by subjugating your will and moral compass to a group and C Limiting as he enjoys bringing together different groups of people. My daughter had a slightly different but similar opinion that she didn’t want some other group picking and dictating her friends for her. She is shockingly beautiful so the queen bees always zero in on her to get her to join their cliques and she’s always rebuffed them, picked her own friends.

Both kids have a strong protect the weaker person ethos and can’t stand people who reject or pick on people to boost their own popularity. Greek life seems to attract people willing to follow not lead, and prey on the weaker people rather than defend.

Why does anyone think you are paying for friends? That’s the most nonsensical comment…I mean my kid pays dues and it includes housing and food (and yeah party expenses) but it’s just slightly more than what the school would charge for room and board.

Same here. I'm telling you, it's jealousy. It really is.

It’s really not. It’s a cheap shot, but not a real stretch as to why they say that. I was in a sorority and lived in house, I know all about the expenses. I genuinely don’t think adults are jealous of a college Greek life they wish they had? I think if anyone is jealous of anything, it’s of kids getting into elite schools, full-ride scholarships, and the like. Greek life is great for many (was for me), but come on, it’s nothing that is haunting people as they ooze with jealousy. This is crazy thinking and I have such a tough time rationalizing how grown adults think like this. Anyone here is well past college glory days!

They're jealous that their KIDS can't get in. That's why I mean.

Maybe a small amount, but kind of doubt this also. Most can get a bid if wanted at most schools. Not the top houses as you know, but a house. It would surprise me if parents are that knowledgeable or invested in a process they weren’t a part of or a fan of to be jealous. I think it just annoys Greek people just like athlete parents when anyone isn’t wowed by it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son had an interesting take on it. He’s had several fraternities reach out to him but he isn’t interested. In his opinion it’s A. Weird to pay for friends B. More about gaining social protection by subjugating your will and moral compass to a group and C Limiting as he enjoys bringing together different groups of people. My daughter had a slightly different but similar opinion that she didn’t want some other group picking and dictating her friends for her. She is shockingly beautiful so the queen bees always zero in on her to get her to join their cliques and she’s always rebuffed them, picked her own friends.

Both kids have a strong protect the weaker person ethos and can’t stand people who reject or pick on people to boost their own popularity. Greek life seems to attract people willing to follow not lead, and prey on the weaker people rather than defend.

Why does anyone think you are paying for friends? That’s the most nonsensical comment…I mean my kid pays dues and it includes housing and food (and yeah party expenses) but it’s just slightly more than what the school would charge for room and board.

Same here. I'm telling you, it's jealousy. It really is.

It’s really not. It’s a cheap shot, but not a real stretch as to why they say that. I was in a sorority and lived in house, I know all about the expenses. I genuinely don’t think adults are jealous of a college Greek life they wish they had? I think if anyone is jealous of anything, it’s of kids getting into elite schools, full-ride scholarships, and the like. Greek life is great for many (was for me), but come on, it’s nothing that is haunting people as they ooze with jealousy. This is crazy thinking and I have such a tough time rationalizing how grown adults think like this. Anyone here is well past college glory days!

They're jealous that their KIDS can't get in. That's why I mean.

Maybe a small amount, but kind of doubt this also. Most can get a bid if wanted at most schools. Not the top houses as you know, but a house. It would surprise me if parents are that knowledgeable or invested in a process they weren’t a part of or a fan of to be jealous. I think it just annoys Greek people just like athlete parents when anyone isn’t wowed by it.

Except I'm not a Greek person.

[Anonymous]

we had weekly weigh ins too. it wasn't like a rule, but a Sunday night self improvement kinda thing? I don't know what we were thinking. All I know is it was public, done in one of the living rooms in front of everyone.

we did it to ourselves!

[Anonymous]

They shouldn’t even bother having PNM rank their choices. They’re just told that if you only get a bid from a house that you didn’t click with, you just don’t realize that’s where you “belong”. Then the old women who still run these things wipe their hands of it and blame the kid.

Imagine speed dating and being interested 8 of the 10 men, but the only one who wanted a second date was one of two where conversation fell flat. And then being told “it’s what you deserve, take it or you’re just a spoiled brat”. That’s what happens.

You can try to spin it however you like, but ultimately is about ranking human beings and breaking the rules (dirty rush).

[Anonymous]

I feel like the vast majority of non-Greek parents are relieved their kid is not pursuing it, not jealous. Whether it's based in current reality or not: alcohol poisoning, being forced to drink/eat/clean weird shit, date rape, circling cellulite/fat with a marker, etc, no thanks. I will support my kid if they end up being interested, and encourage healthy choices, but will also be relieved, happy if they are uninterested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I find hilarious are the posters calling southern sorority girls “hoes, slutty,” etc when they see those dance videos… but when MIT sorority girls put out exact the same kind of dance videos, they’re praised. DCUM’s finest never disappoint.

+100
Yep. Apparently, white sorority girls doing dances are slutty, while black/hispanic/Asian sorority girls doing dances are brilliant, cool, fun, and amazing!

Ummm…. I don’t know about y’all, but in my super woke world, it’s not OK to call anybody slutty, and I think everybody should dance more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the vast majority of non-Greek parents are relieved their kid is not pursuing it, not jealous. Whether it's based in current reality or not: alcohol poisoning, being forced to drink/eat/clean weird shit, date rape, circling cellulite/fat with a marker, etc, no thanks. I will support my kid if they end up being interested, and encourage healthy choices, but will also be relieved, happy if they are uninterested.

+1000

my sentiments exactly. it's pure relief.

[Anonymous]

^ it starts with parents knowing the schools. Just like other details. Know the % of Greek on campus. If you don't want it, look at <20%/ Look at The Common Data Set or similar research and know what % go Greek.