Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?

[Anonymous]

I'm a single mom and the stigma is not that bad, at least in this area. People just assume I'm divorced and I often just let them think that. My daughter's dad can be difficult, but co-parenting with him is easier in separate households than trying to make a relationship work with him. Finances are tighter, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t matter. No saved games.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Worse to be never married single mom. Abort op. Don’t bring a kid into that situation and in the future use birth control.

+ 100
Bringing a baby into this world with a loving partner is stressful, let alone the situation OP is in!
OP is questioning whether it's better to be a single mom or a divorced mom. The real question is whether she needs be a mom in the first place.

I’m am completely pro-choice and have zero issues with anyone having an abortion for any reason, but telling someone to just have an abortion is callous and cruel. Some of you people are just so incredibly gross.

Op, have the baby or don’t, get married or don’t. You either have what it takes to go it alone or you don’t. Being a mother is not easy, being a single mother is not easy either, but I’m not sure it’s that much harder than being dependent on or needing to rely on someone who has little respect for you.

I have numerous friends who eat a lot of bitter and sh$@t, and have to do it with a smile on their faces, all because they believe it’s what is best for the family, or whatever they tell themselves, but they are miserable.

Do what you think is right. I have tremendous respect for single moms. And I know a lot of other people do too, and not in a condescending, or in an I’m better than you way, but rather genuine respect.

No matter what you do, do it with your head held high.

Be confident, be strong, find joy, and if necessary fake it till you make it.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, the whole scenario is just ghetto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really dont want to be a walking pariah

Lol. As I drop my lovely DD off at her NWDC private and head into my C-suite job, I’m going to remember that this lady with an oops pregnancy from an angry boyfriend called me a “walking pariah”. Keep it classy, OP.

Amazing that someone can whine about being looked down upon while mocking a young woman in vulnerable circumstances asking for help. I guess it's a rude awakening that yes, many people will still view you with disdain when you're a single mom, no matter what kind of private school you bought your way into (and, friendly reminder, just because you paid for entry to the school, certainly doesn't mean youre accepted by the other parents there or treated with the same level of regard/acceptance). The harsh reality of that seems to be really upsetting many single moms in this thread which, if anything, makes it highly entertaining to watch.

You seem bitter and insecure. Advice get a job, get your ducks in a row and leave your DH, security is an illusion, better to be the dumper than the dumpee.

Nothing bitter or insecure about it, unlike the single moms by choice crashing out on this thread about how much better they are than OP because they arent in a relationship. The hypocrisy is absolutely insane, and it's funny because in many (most?) places the stigma works the opposite way, so the delusions of grandeur are a bit rich.

NP. Are you autistic? Because you seem bizarrely stuck on the same stupid argument. Can’t imagine you’re not a walking pariah, as OP put it, in real life.

Why is "are you autistic?" the go to insult when someone on here has nothing else to say? Is it some kind of bizarre projection since so many of you on here seem to be utterly socially incompetent? Or is it just a kind of mean attempt to even the score when you feel your ego has been dinged? Either way, it's 2025- definitely not a good look (and a revealer of your age, tbh)

“Go to insult,” wth are you talking about? And you don’t sound young yourself when you fanatically support OP and her old fashioned ideas of being a pariah bc she’s a single mom. You’re probably just OP sockpuppeting and lashing out at people bc they didn’t give you the answers you want.

[Anonymous]

Oh honey, you will be judged, harshly, either way. Sadly, it is just the way the world works. Good luck with your decisions.

[Anonymous]

Since the Father has anger issues I agree that it is in the child’s best interest if you leave him now - before he has the chance to hurt his child.

And I would not worry about whatever stigmas exist for Single Mothers.
It is 2025 and no one has any right to judge you or your child for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really dont want to be a walking pariah

Lol. As I drop my lovely DD off at her NWDC private and head into my C-suite job, I’m going to remember that this lady with an oops pregnancy from an angry boyfriend called me a “walking pariah”. Keep it classy, OP.

Amazing that someone can whine about being looked down upon while mocking a young woman in vulnerable circumstances asking for help. I guess it's a rude awakening that yes, many people will still view you with disdain when you're a single mom, no matter what kind of private school you bought your way into (and, friendly reminder, just because you paid for entry to the school, certainly doesn't mean youre accepted by the other parents there or treated with the same level of regard/acceptance). The harsh reality of that seems to be really upsetting many single moms in this thread which, if anything, makes it highly entertaining to watch.

You seem bitter and insecure. Advice get a job, get your ducks in a row and leave your DH, security is an illusion, better to be the dumper than the dumpee.

Nothing bitter or insecure about it, unlike the single moms by choice crashing out on this thread about how much better they are than OP because they arent in a relationship. The hypocrisy is absolutely insane, and it's funny because in many (most?) places the stigma works the opposite way, so the delusions of grandeur are a bit rich.

NP. Are you autistic? Because you seem bizarrely stuck on the same stupid argument. Can’t imagine you’re not a walking pariah, as OP put it, in real life.

Why is "are you autistic?" the go to insult when someone on here has nothing else to say? Is it some kind of bizarre projection since so many of you on here seem to be utterly socially incompetent? Or is it just a kind of mean attempt to even the score when you feel your ego has been dinged? Either way, it's 2025- definitely not a good look (and a revealer of your age, tbh)

“Go to insult,” wth are you talking about? And you don’t sound young yourself when you fanatically support OP and her old fashioned ideas of being a pariah bc she’s a single mom. You’re probably just OP sockpuppeting and lashing out at people bc they didn’t give you the answers you want.

OP is being realistic about her life prospects and not fooling or deluding yourself. You should probably do the same so you dont continue to live in some alternate reality where misogyny doesnt happen and no one bats an eye at single motherhood (or fatherhood, for that matter)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really dont want to be a walking pariah

Lol. As I drop my lovely DD off at her NWDC private and head into my C-suite job, I’m going to remember that this lady with an oops pregnancy from an angry boyfriend called me a “walking pariah”. Keep it classy, OP.

Amazing that someone can whine about being looked down upon while mocking a young woman in vulnerable circumstances asking for help. I guess it's a rude awakening that yes, many people will still view you with disdain when you're a single mom, no matter what kind of private school you bought your way into (and, friendly reminder, just because you paid for entry to the school, certainly doesn't mean youre accepted by the other parents there or treated with the same level of regard/acceptance). The harsh reality of that seems to be really upsetting many single moms in this thread which, if anything, makes it highly entertaining to watch.

You seem bitter and insecure. Advice get a job, get your ducks in a row and leave your DH, security is an illusion, better to be the dumper than the dumpee.

Nothing bitter or insecure about it, unlike the single moms by choice crashing out on this thread about how much better they are than OP because they arent in a relationship. The hypocrisy is absolutely insane, and it's funny because in many (most?) places the stigma works the opposite way, so the delusions of grandeur are a bit rich.

NP. Are you autistic? Because you seem bizarrely stuck on the same stupid argument. Can’t imagine you’re not a walking pariah, as OP put it, in real life.

Why is "are you autistic?" the go to insult when someone on here has nothing else to say? Is it some kind of bizarre projection since so many of you on here seem to be utterly socially incompetent? Or is it just a kind of mean attempt to even the score when you feel your ego has been dinged? Either way, it's 2025- definitely not a good look (and a revealer of your age, tbh)

“Go to insult,” wth are you talking about? And you don’t sound young yourself when you fanatically support OP and her old fashioned ideas of being a pariah bc she’s a single mom. You’re probably just OP sockpuppeting and lashing out at people bc they didn’t give you the answers you want.

OP is being realistic about her life prospects and not fooling or deluding yourself. You should probably do the same so you dont continue to live in some alternate reality where misogyny doesnt happen and no one bats an eye at single motherhood (or fatherhood, for that matter)

If you're secure you don't care what people think. I had my kids with my husband, BUT if I were single and time was running out you bet I would make sure to have the number of kids I want. I've known women who wasted years dating jerks who ended up without kids. A woman can find a man anytime, single with kids. They are all over, over 30 they are usually divorced with kids. Worked with many families, the biggest trauma are kids with divorced parents who have to be split between homes. Unwanted steps and that whole mess is horrible for them. One stable home is the best environment with an attentive parent/parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really dont want to be a walking pariah

Lol. As I drop my lovely DD off at her NWDC private and head into my C-suite job, I’m going to remember that this lady with an oops pregnancy from an angry boyfriend called me a “walking pariah”. Keep it classy, OP.

Amazing that someone can whine about being looked down upon while mocking a young woman in vulnerable circumstances asking for help. I guess it's a rude awakening that yes, many people will still view you with disdain when you're a single mom, no matter what kind of private school you bought your way into (and, friendly reminder, just because you paid for entry to the school, certainly doesn't mean youre accepted by the other parents there or treated with the same level of regard/acceptance). The harsh reality of that seems to be really upsetting many single moms in this thread which, if anything, makes it highly entertaining to watch.

You seem bitter and insecure. Advice get a job, get your ducks in a row and leave your DH, security is an illusion, better to be the dumper than the dumpee.

Nothing bitter or insecure about it, unlike the single moms by choice crashing out on this thread about how much better they are than OP because they arent in a relationship. The hypocrisy is absolutely insane, and it's funny because in many (most?) places the stigma works the opposite way, so the delusions of grandeur are a bit rich.

NP. Are you autistic? Because you seem bizarrely stuck on the same stupid argument. Can’t imagine you’re not a walking pariah, as OP put it, in real life.

Why is "are you autistic?" the go to insult when someone on here has nothing else to say? Is it some kind of bizarre projection since so many of you on here seem to be utterly socially incompetent? Or is it just a kind of mean attempt to even the score when you feel your ego has been dinged? Either way, it's 2025- definitely not a good look (and a revealer of your age, tbh)

“Go to insult,” wth are you talking about? And you don’t sound young yourself when you fanatically support OP and her old fashioned ideas of being a pariah bc she’s a single mom. You’re probably just OP sockpuppeting and lashing out at people bc they didn’t give you the answers you want.

OP is being realistic about her life prospects and not fooling or deluding yourself. You should probably do the same so you dont continue to live in some alternate reality where misogyny doesnt happen and no one bats an eye at single motherhood (or fatherhood, for that matter)

If you're secure you don't care what people think. I had my kids with my husband, BUT if I were single and time was running out you bet I would make sure to have the number of kids I want. I've known women who wasted years dating jerks who ended up without kids. A woman can find a man anytime, single with kids. They are all over, over 30 they are usually divorced with kids. Worked with many families, the biggest trauma are kids with divorced parents who have to be split between homes. Unwanted steps and that whole mess is horrible for them. One stable home is the best environment with an attentive parent/parents.

Yeah but everyone does it tbh. Unfortunately we live in a social society and no one wants to be the outcast loser of the group

[Anonymous]

Single mom. Do you know anyone who's through divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single mom. Do you know anyone who's through divorce?

*been through

[Anonymous]

I have two children, I never married their Father. I don't face much stigma, but I'm in a fairly liberal area. Women and men that I've dated seem to like the fact that I didn't marry.

There's bigger issues for most people right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two children, I never married their Father. I don't face much stigma, but I'm in a fairly liberal area. Women and men that I've dated seem to like the fact that I didn't marry.

There's bigger issues for most people right now.

Oh and I've never had to go to custody court. He has them as often as I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really dont want to be a walking pariah

Lol. As I drop my lovely DD off at her NWDC private and head into my C-suite job, I’m going to remember that this lady with an oops pregnancy from an angry boyfriend called me a “walking pariah”. Keep it classy, OP.

Amazing that someone can whine about being looked down upon while mocking a young woman in vulnerable circumstances asking for help. I guess it's a rude awakening that yes, many people will still view you with disdain when you're a single mom, no matter what kind of private school you bought your way into (and, friendly reminder, just because you paid for entry to the school, certainly doesn't mean youre accepted by the other parents there or treated with the same level of regard/acceptance). The harsh reality of that seems to be really upsetting many single moms in this thread which, if anything, makes it highly entertaining to watch.

You seem bitter and insecure. Advice get a job, get your ducks in a row and leave your DH, security is an illusion, better to be the dumper than the dumpee.

Nothing bitter or insecure about it, unlike the single moms by choice crashing out on this thread about how much better they are than OP because they arent in a relationship. The hypocrisy is absolutely insane, and it's funny because in many (most?) places the stigma works the opposite way, so the delusions of grandeur are a bit rich.

NP. Are you autistic? Because you seem bizarrely stuck on the same stupid argument. Can’t imagine you’re not a walking pariah, as OP put it, in real life.

Why is "are you autistic?" the go to insult when someone on here has nothing else to say? Is it some kind of bizarre projection since so many of you on here seem to be utterly socially incompetent? Or is it just a kind of mean attempt to even the score when you feel your ego has been dinged? Either way, it's 2025- definitely not a good look (and a revealer of your age, tbh)

“Go to insult,” wth are you talking about? And you don’t sound young yourself when you fanatically support OP and her old fashioned ideas of being a pariah bc she’s a single mom. You’re probably just OP sockpuppeting and lashing out at people bc they didn’t give you the answers you want.

OP is being realistic about her life prospects and not fooling or deluding yourself. You should probably do the same so you dont continue to live in some alternate reality where misogyny doesnt happen and no one bats an eye at single motherhood (or fatherhood, for that matter)

If you're secure you don't care what people think. I had my kids with my husband, BUT if I were single and time was running out you bet I would make sure to have the number of kids I want. I've known women who wasted years dating jerks who ended up without kids. A woman can find a man anytime, single with kids. They are all over, over 30 they are usually divorced with kids. Worked with many families, the biggest trauma are kids with divorced parents who have to be split between homes. Unwanted steps and that whole mess is horrible for them. One stable home is the best environment with an attentive parent/parents.

Yeah but everyone does it tbh. Unfortunately we live in a social society and no one wants to be the outcast loser of the group

Who is the “outcast loser” in this scenario?