How to get over someone you had the most incredible chemistry with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is it possible he has mistaken or confused you for someone else and he was actually trying to break up with that person, not you, and now he is saying where did that woman go? We had so much chemistry between us. Do you have a similar name or initials, or a similar look or even email address or phone number (text) that could have resulted in him thinking that other person is you, or that you are them? If so it is time for a honest sit down.

Mistaken identities of false associations are often the culprit in these kinds of situations. It's like a cowboy movie or something.

Maybe avoid posting after you've been smoking weed or drinking, OK?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t forget about it.

But the intrusive ruminations and searing pain eventually subside? Do you feel normal and happy again in your day to day life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t forget about it.

But the intrusive ruminations and searing pain eventually subside? Do you feel normal and happy again in your day to day life?

DP, not the PP you're responding to, but: If you truly can characterize your reactions as intrusive ruminations and searing pain, and the breakup wasn't only days ago, seriously consider therapy. You need to delve into why you're unable to function. Because intrusive thoughts and that level of pain are surely affecting your ability to function in the rest of your life. I'm not doing the knee-jerk "get therapy" answer that appears here so often; most of us are going to learn to live with a breakup without needing therapy. But if there truly are invasive thoughts crowding your mind, get someone objective to help you unravel them. It's what therapists are there for.

I pondered the end of a relationship for a long time afterward, and there was a lot to replay, since the end was bad and accelerated quickly (and I won't get into details other than: No abuse or affair, just things beyond control). But even then I was able to compartmentalize and set aside those thoughts to get things done in my day to day life. And eventually, yes, there was "normal and happy." But if you can't take steps forward eventually, and seem stuck, please, ask for help to get past it.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you’re thinking with the proverbial little head, and mistaking good s*x for a quintessential, irreplaceable thing. You will get over it when you find a person you love and share a life with, and after a while, this guy will be a faded memory in the past.

…As long as you don’t nurse the fantasy in your head, which it sounds like you are doing because you’re h*rny and mentally clouded by emotion. But he wasn’t your husband—he can, and absolutely will, be replaced. Think long term and be positive about your future!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just had a break up due to logistics with someone I had the most explosive chemistry with. Not to be explicit because obviously the thread needs to be SFW, but I've never had the kind of connection or passion in the bedroom with anyone like this. Breaking up has been shockingly hard, and I didnt expect to be hit so hard with the loss. Has anyone else experienced this kind of break up and if so, how do you move on and forget about it?

Describe the “logistics”. Since you didn’t say any details I’m assuming you mean that your affair partner moved on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is it possible he has mistaken or confused you for someone else and he was actually trying to break up with that person, not you, and now he is saying where did that woman go? We had so much chemistry between us. Do you have a similar name or initials, or a similar look or even email address or phone number (text) that could have resulted in him thinking that other person is you, or that you are them? If so it is time for a honest sit down.

Mistaken identities of false associations are often the culprit in these kinds of situations. It's like a cowboy movie or something.

Maybe avoid posting after you've been smoking weed or drinking, OK?

Who?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is it possible he has mistaken or confused you for someone else and he was actually trying to break up with that person, not you, and now he is saying where did that woman go? We had so much chemistry between us. Do you have a similar name or initials, or a similar look or even email address or phone number (text) that could have resulted in him thinking that other person is you, or that you are them? If so it is time for a honest sit down.

Mistaken identities of false associations are often the culprit in these kinds of situations. It's like a cowboy movie or something.

Maybe avoid posting after you've been smoking weed or drinking, OK?

Who?

The person who's been posting a couple of weird posts insisting that the OP's BF broke up with her by accident because he mistook her for someone else he was seeing and meant to dump instead of OP. Disjointed and garbled posts unrelated to anything OP or anyone else has said. Delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just had a break up due to logistics with someone I had the most explosive chemistry with. Not to be explicit because obviously the thread needs to be SFW, but I've never had the kind of connection or passion in the bedroom with anyone like this. Breaking up has been shockingly hard, and I didnt expect to be hit so hard with the loss. Has anyone else experienced this kind of break up and if so, how do you move on and forget about it?

Describe the “logistics”. Since you didn’t say any details I’m assuming you mean that your affair partner moved on?

Another one of the "it must be an affair, because I cannot even imagine there might be other scenarios" people. Please read the whole thread. Others have made the same lazy assumption. Plus: Even if it were an affair, the OP's question is how to move on. Answers to that can apply whether the relationship was an affair, or not, or FWB, or any other situation. So, what's your answer to the actual question being asked?

[Anonymous]

^answer; wtf else are you going to do ? Get over it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^answer; wtf else are you going to do ? Get over it!

Thank you for your nuanced, empathetic, and detailed contribution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is it possible he has mistaken or confused you for someone else and he was actually trying to break up with that person, not you, and now he is saying where did that woman go? We had so much chemistry between us. Do you have a similar name or initials, or a similar look or even email address or phone number (text) that could have resulted in him thinking that other person is you, or that you are them? If so it is time for a honest sit down.

Mistaken identities of false associations are often the culprit in these kinds of situations. It's like a cowboy movie or something.

Maybe avoid posting after you've been smoking weed or drinking, OK?

Who?

The person who's been posting a couple of weird posts insisting that the OP's BF broke up with her by accident because he mistook her for someone else he was seeing and meant to dump instead of OP. Disjointed and garbled posts unrelated to anything OP or anyone else has said. Delusional.

They are delusional? Links, please.

[Anonymous]

It makes a lot of women feel better if they fantasize they were something more than a temporary warm hole to the guy that dumped them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It makes a lot of women feel better if they fantasize they were something more than a temporary warm hole to the guy that dumped them.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes a lot of women feel better if they fantasize they were something more than a temporary warm hole to the guy that dumped them.

Yep.

It may be difficult for posters to realize if you haven't had that life experience before but some people have had incredible chemistry without using one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes a lot of women feel better if they fantasize they were something more than a temporary warm hole to the guy that dumped them.

Yep.

It may be difficult for posters to realize if you haven't had that life experience before but some people have had incredible chemistry without using one another.

Yeah- so we got married.

It’s quite obvious the guy didn’t feel the same.