Husband refuses to help with night feedings
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Anonymous
This is a weird take. OP is still bringing in her salary if she’s on leave. Why is she supposed to go back to work to get DH to pull his weight at home if she’s still pulling her weight financially? |
Anonymous
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You could also go to bed earlier and he take the 10 pm
Feed. |
Anonymous
DP but her husband apparently wants his child breastfed and doesn’t know the mother needs to sleep to maintain supply, so that’s the first clue. |
Anonymous
She is on maternity leave and can nap during the day regardless of the salary. I think the more immediate question is if he plans to help out more once she goes back to the office. Have you two discussed night feedings then? |
Anonymous
She has already said she can’t nap due to pumping. This is pretty common for a five week old while building supply. Honestly OPs husband is a dud, but I think she’s not going to realize that until she has another kid and years of disappointment behind her. |
Anonymous
OP here. I was feeding at 10, going to bed at 11 and then sleeping until 3/4am. I nurse exclusively for all feeds except the bottle my husband was giving the baby. I pump after every ffed during the day to stimulate production. I supplement in the evening and a night with formula. I trust my doctor and her experience. I also trust the location consultant. He has weight gain issues and needs to ear every 3 hours, day and night. I am eating and drinking plenty. I make 20-24 ounces and he is eating 24-28 ounces. I only give him 4-8 ounces of formula a day. |
Anonymous
She can't nap when the baby does because she has to cook and clean pump parts |
Anonymous
He doesn't have weight gain issues if he's eating every 3 hours that's a normal 5 week old schedule. |
Anonymous
She's also said she doesn't have supply issues. And she doesn't nap because she has to clean pump parts and cook. |
Anonymous
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Its very important that you get a stretch of sleep, even if you can nap during the day. It is also important that your DH sleep but going to bed at 10 pm, getting up at 6 am to work out every day..no.there's plenty of time for that in a little while when the baby sleeps more. He should go to bed at 10, get up at 5/6 pm and take the morning feeding, allowing you to sleep until he needs to get ready for work at 7:30 or whatever.
When my son was born, he had bad colic and woke up every 2 hours until he was 6 months old, when we started to get 4 and 5 hour stretches. . Occasionally 3, but that was rare. Never 4 hours. It was hell. I would take the first half of the night , until about 3:40/4 am, and then DH would take 3:30/4 am to 7/8 am. This was when I was on leave and he was working. DH would drive around at 4 am to try to get my son to sleep a little. We were both exhausted. But it never was assumed that I was 100 % responsible. Especially since never having a stretch of more than 2 hours for months on end is a recipe for insanity. I almost didn't have another baby because it was so bad. Fortunately my daughter slept like a champ from day 1. anyway OP I think your spouse is being selfish and rigid. Being a parent means sacrificing some things--like a daily workout--not only to be a good parent but to share the burden with your partner. If he refuses then I would ensure that he take the baby the whole day sat/sun (as you do 5 days a week) and you sleep, work out or do whatever you want. Essentially flip schedules on the weekends--he is in charge from 6 am to 6 pm and then again from bedtime to 6 am. |
Anonymous
She doesn’t have supply issues because she’s pumping after feedings, which again is the typical advice given to build supply at this age. |
Anonymous
OP said he had weight gain issues and that is why she has to feed at least every 3 hours. |
Anonymous
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Op's husband is a douche. It is his kid too. Yes, he's working. So is she. She is keeping an infant alive and maintaining the house. Arguably, her sleep is more important.
But, regardless of the scorekeeping, it is not asking too much to do ONE feeding a night. They have a newborn. Being tired -both of them- is part of the deal and it's temporary. If he doesn't, I'd pay for a night nurse, and not even ask him about it, for a few nights/week. This will slowly start to creep into other areas, like "I should be able to sleep in on weekends because I work" and things like that. Nip that sh-- in the bud now. And he needs to stop being a second child. |
Anonymous
It's quite obvious from ops posts. Normal for first timers but op refuses to take good advice from more seasoned moms |
Anonymous
OP said she has supply issues. |