For those who have “cut other people off,” what did the person do to deserve it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

Touchy. Is that why you think your kids cut you off? Guarantee there is way more that led up to that breaking point. Not “just because you wanted to go to thanksgiving”.

[Anonymous]

I got sick of being temporarily ghosted multiple times. Was so passive aggressive. I reached my limit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got sick of being temporarily ghosted multiple times. Was so passive aggressive. I reached my limit.

The sibling that I had already cut off did this to my dad many times. She would just refuse to speak to him for weeks or months at a time for trivial reasons. He finally got fed up and told me how upset he was at the mean things she had said to him and that he was done dealing with her. He died a week later, and my sibling went around acting as though she’d been quite close to him even though she knew she hadn’t talked to him for a few months before he died. I kept to myself what I knew and have never said anything, even though she has badmouthed me to others in our family.

I think he had finally realized how she had bullied people in our family for so many years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

Link it here then. I obviously missed the "I am cutting my mother off because she wants to come for Thanksgiving" thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

Link it here then. I obviously missed the "I am cutting my mother off because she wants to come for Thanksgiving" thread.

+1

Yes. Please share the link to this thread that shows PP wasn’t lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds to me like a lot of people on here are seeking approval for lashing out at and participating in ganging up on others in their lives. Whether or not it’s deserved. But honestly a lot of the toxicity seems to stem from the posters here, not their targeted family member. Just an observation.

I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I know a few people who have done this
1) in-laws cut off their parents sexual and physical abuse
2) cousin cut off my uncle for being an alcoholic and really just a very mean and uncaring person
3) more distant cousin because told her mom she was being molested by her stepdad and she didn’t believe her. He also molested her sisters but for whatever reason they didn’t cut their mom off even though she deserved it. The mom was also weird and toxic in other ways and openly favored the only boy.

I wouldn’t assume in real life you actually know the actual reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds to me like a lot of people on here are seeking approval for lashing out at and participating in ganging up on others in their lives. Whether or not it’s deserved. But honestly a lot of the toxicity seems to stem from the posters here, not their targeted family member. Just an observation.

I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I know a few people who have done this
1) in-laws cut off their parents sexual and physical abuse
2) cousin cut off my uncle for being an alcoholic and really just a very mean and uncaring person
3) more distant cousin because told her mom she was being molested by her stepdad and she didn’t believe her. He also molested her sisters but for whatever reason they didn’t cut their mom off even though she deserved it. The mom was also weird and toxic in other ways and openly favored the only boy.

I wouldn’t assume in real life you actually know the actual reason.

It's crazy how quickly people rush to make assumptions and cast judgement.

[Anonymous]

They invited my H’s childhood rapist to Xmas. Then said family is family and you can’t tell us who we can invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They invited my H’s childhood rapist to Xmas. Then said family is family and you can’t tell us who we can invite.

That is horrible! It's so hard for those of us who've been hurt, but try to stay in contact. Your dh's family essentially told him he doesn't matter. The sad thing is, if he cuts them out of his life, they'll say it's because he is effed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They invited my H’s childhood rapist to Xmas. Then said family is family and you can’t tell us who we can invite.

That is horrible! It's so hard for those of us who've been hurt, but try to stay in contact. Your dh's family essentially told him he doesn't matter. The sad thing is, if he cuts them out of his life, they'll say it's because he is effed up.

Why he care what they say?

[Anonymous]

^why would he care what they say?

[Anonymous]

The only people who get off are the ones who won’t take no for an answer or feel entitled to a relationship on their terms. Relationships are dual consent only. If the other person doesn’t want one you can’t force it.

DH has a large extended family. Some we like and some we don’t. For the ones we don’t really like, it’s fine to see them at extended family get togethers etc. We don’t interact with them outside of these activities and they never push to inject into our lives so everyone is happy. One of DH’s aunts, we had to cut off because she was so insanely intrusive. Never took no for an answer, felt entitled to be the center of any of our events or activities, was enraged for us to say no and just wouldn’t stop. She harassed our kids. We finally blocked her and cut her off.

She 100% believes that we cut her off for one small petty incident. She’s the victim. We are so unreasonable for cutting her off. We are robbing our children from her love. She’s really horrible.

[Anonymous]

I had a minor argument with my mother that spun her into a crazy fit because she simply wouldn't admit she was at fault.

So, like a totally normal person she called my work and told them lies about me, tried to get me fired. then she called my in laws and did the same. Not gettig what she wanted she then moved onto my neighbors ,so I cut her off.

She never met two of my three kids and died alone after calling me from Hospice 3 days before dying begging me to visit. I didn't take the call.

When she died, I hadn't spoken with or seen her in 14 years.

Think about that when you're treating your kids like sh*t