For those who have “cut other people off,” what did the person do to deserve it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They invited my H’s childhood rapist to Xmas. Then said family is family and you can’t tell us who we can invite.

That is horrible! It's so hard for those of us who've been hurt, but try to stay in contact. Your dh's family essentially told him he doesn't matter. The sad thing is, if he cuts them out of his life, they'll say it's because he is effed up.

This is the sort of well-meaning but completely naive things people who aren’t from families like this say

When these people decided to include the child rapist in Christmas, they DID show that the victim doesn’t matter to them. Once you show that, there is no relationship to salvage. There is zero reason for the victim to stay in contact with people who don’t love him or show him the most baseline level of respect. And of course they will say the reason is that the victim is messed up - enablers are not people committed to seeking truth or responsibility. This is how abusive families work.

+1

Seems like that PP is an enabler.

Do you approach every argument in your life with delusional fantasies about the other person? Your parents must be exhausted. I bet they’re glad you’re out of the picture.

PP is encouraging the PP to stay in touch with family who chose a rapist over their own kid.

Nobody said that. You make everything up.

Yes, they did.

Scroll up: “but try to stay in contact”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

The same poster is posting these ridiculous lies about “cults” and lying that people “cut off grandparents because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.” No. Sorry.

What is wrong with you? Why aren't you going after the poster who claims someone urged a poster to stay with her rapist? Drama much?

Liar. No one claimed that “someone urged a poster to stay with their rapist”. Why lie when we can all clearly see what was posted?

You should apologize to everyone on the threads for your lies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

The same poster is posting these ridiculous lies about “cults” and lying that people “cut off grandparents because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.” No. Sorry.

+1

So many lies. I would cut off people who habitually lied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

The same poster is posting these ridiculous lies about “cults” and lying that people “cut off grandparents because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.” No. Sorry.

What is wrong with you? Why aren't you going after the poster who claims someone urged a poster to stay with her rapist? Drama much?

Liar. No one claimed that “someone urged a poster to stay with their rapist”. Why lie when we can all clearly see what was posted?

You should apologize to everyone on the threads for your lies.

Who's the liar? 18:39: "PP is encouraging the PP to stay in touch with family who chose a rapist over their own kid."

You can apologize now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

The same poster is posting these ridiculous lies about “cults” and lying that people “cut off grandparents because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.” No. Sorry.

What is wrong with you? Why aren't you going after the poster who claims someone urged a poster to stay with her rapist? Drama much?

Liar. No one claimed that “someone urged a poster to stay with their rapist”. Why lie when we can all clearly see what was posted?

You should apologize to everyone on the threads for your lies.

Who's the liar? 18:39: "PP is encouraging the PP to stay in touch with family who chose a rapist over their own kid."

You can apologize now.

Thanks for proving my point. That says “stay in touch with family”, not “stay in touch with the rapist”.

Still waiting on that apology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

The same poster is posting these ridiculous lies about “cults” and lying that people “cut off grandparents because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.” No. Sorry.

What is wrong with you? Why aren't you going after the poster who claims someone urged a poster to stay with her rapist? Drama much?

Liar. No one claimed that “someone urged a poster to stay with their rapist”. Why lie when we can all clearly see what was posted?

You should apologize to everyone on the threads for your lies.

Who's the liar? 18:39: "PP is encouraging the PP to stay in touch with family who chose a rapist over their own kid."

You can apologize now.

Thanks for proving my point. That says “stay in touch with family”, not “stay in touch with the rapist”.

Still waiting on that apology.

Please get help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

The same poster is posting these ridiculous lies about “cults” and lying that people “cut off grandparents because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.” No. Sorry.

What is wrong with you? Why aren't you going after the poster who claims someone urged a poster to stay with her rapist? Drama much?

Liar. No one claimed that “someone urged a poster to stay with their rapist”. Why lie when we can all clearly see what was posted?

You should apologize to everyone on the threads for your lies.

Who's the liar? 18:39: "PP is encouraging the PP to stay in touch with family who chose a rapist over their own kid."

You can apologize now.

Thanks for proving my point. That says “stay in touch with family”, not “stay in touch with the rapist”.

Still waiting on that apology.

Bullying and obsession are not healthy behaviors, pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

The same poster is posting these ridiculous lies about “cults” and lying that people “cut off grandparents because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.” No. Sorry.

What is wrong with you? Why aren't you going after the poster who claims someone urged a poster to stay with her rapist? Drama much?

Liar. No one claimed that “someone urged a poster to stay with their rapist”. Why lie when we can all clearly see what was posted?

You should apologize to everyone on the threads for your lies.

Who's the liar? 18:39: "PP is encouraging the PP to stay in touch with family who chose a rapist over their own kid."

You can apologize now.

Thanks for proving my point. That says “stay in touch with family”, not “stay in touch with the rapist”.

Still waiting on that apology.

Bullying and obsession are not healthy behaviors, pp.

Calling out a liar isn’t “bullying”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They invited my H’s childhood rapist to Xmas. Then said family is family and you can’t tell us who we can invite.

That is horrible! It's so hard for those of us who've been hurt, but try to stay in contact. Your dh's family essentially told him he doesn't matter. The sad thing is, if he cuts them out of his life, they'll say it's because he is effed up.

This is the sort of well-meaning but completely naive things people who aren’t from families like this say

When these people decided to include the child rapist in Christmas, they DID show that the victim doesn’t matter to them. Once you show that, there is no relationship to salvage. There is zero reason for the victim to stay in contact with people who don’t love him or show him the most baseline level of respect. And of course they will say the reason is that the victim is messed up - enablers are not people committed to seeking truth or responsibility. This is how abusive families work.

+1

Seems like that PP is an enabler.

Do you approach every argument in your life with delusional fantasies about the other person? Your parents must be exhausted. I bet they’re glad you’re out of the picture.

PP is encouraging the PP to stay in touch with family who chose a rapist over their own kid.

Nobody said that. You make everything up.

DP. Actually, PP said "That is horrible! It's so hard for those of us who've been hurt, but try to stay in contact. Your dh's family essentially told him he doesn't matter. The sad thing is, if he cuts them out of his life, they'll say it's because he is effed up." To me, the bolded reads as an encouragement to stay in contact (with family who chose a rapist over their own kid). But maybe the PP meant that she has been hurt but tries to stay in contact with family herself. Perhaps she was not encouraging at all. It is ambiguous.

No lies detected here, though. Just one take on an ambiguous sentence. I'm sure PP will accept your gracious apology for calling her a liar, though.

DP. It's very clear PP wasn't encouraging the poster to stay at all; she was just rueing the inevitable outcome.

There's a delusional drama queen lurking amongst us. Pp's can be excused for thinking that someone who deliberately misinterprets a post might be that same delusional flame-thrower.

PP here. Again, fascinating. I believe that you believe what you are saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

The same poster is posting these ridiculous lies about “cults” and lying that people “cut off grandparents because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.” No. Sorry.

What is wrong with you? Why aren't you going after the poster who claims someone urged a poster to stay with her rapist? Drama much?

Liar. No one claimed that “someone urged a poster to stay with their rapist”. Why lie when we can all clearly see what was posted?

You should apologize to everyone on the threads for your lies.

Who's the liar? 18:39: "PP is encouraging the PP to stay in touch with family who chose a rapist over their own kid."

You can apologize now.

Thanks for proving my point. That says “stay in touch with family”, not “stay in touch with the rapist”.

Still waiting on that apology.

Bullying and obsession are not healthy behaviors, pp.

Calling out a liar isn’t “bullying”.

Word. Let this thread be a living document of what it's like to have mentally ill family members who try to gaslight you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

The same poster is posting these ridiculous lies about “cults” and lying that people “cut off grandparents because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.” No. Sorry.

What is wrong with you? Why aren't you going after the poster who claims someone urged a poster to stay with her rapist? Drama much?

Liar. No one claimed that “someone urged a poster to stay with their rapist”. Why lie when we can all clearly see what was posted?

You should apologize to everyone on the threads for your lies.

Who's the liar? 18:39: "PP is encouraging the PP to stay in touch with family who chose a rapist over their own kid."

You can apologize now.

Thanks for proving my point. That says “stay in touch with family”, not “stay in touch with the rapist”.

Still waiting on that apology.

Bullying and obsession are not healthy behaviors, pp.

Calling out a liar isn’t “bullying”.

How many threads are you going to ruin with your bullying, narcissism and lack of self awareness? Or are you just a troll?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

The same poster is posting these ridiculous lies about “cults” and lying that people “cut off grandparents because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.” No. Sorry.

What is wrong with you? Why aren't you going after the poster who claims someone urged a poster to stay with her rapist? Drama much?

Liar. No one claimed that “someone urged a poster to stay with their rapist”. Why lie when we can all clearly see what was posted?

You should apologize to everyone on the threads for your lies.

Who's the liar? 18:39: "PP is encouraging the PP to stay in touch with family who chose a rapist over their own kid."

You can apologize now.

Thanks for proving my point. That says “stay in touch with family”, not “stay in touch with the rapist”.

Still waiting on that apology.

Bullying and obsession are not healthy behaviors, pp.

Calling out a liar isn’t “bullying”.

Word. Let this thread be a living document of what it's like to have mentally ill family members who try to gaslight you.

+1

Seriously. And when they are caught in a blatant lie, they go on the offensive, pretending to be a victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

The same poster is posting these ridiculous lies about “cults” and lying that people “cut off grandparents because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.” No. Sorry.

What is wrong with you? Why aren't you going after the poster who claims someone urged a poster to stay with her rapist? Drama much?

Liar. No one claimed that “someone urged a poster to stay with their rapist”. Why lie when we can all clearly see what was posted?

You should apologize to everyone on the threads for your lies.

Who's the liar? 18:39: "PP is encouraging the PP to stay in touch with family who chose a rapist over their own kid."

You can apologize now.

Thanks for proving my point. That says “stay in touch with family”, not “stay in touch with the rapist”.

Still waiting on that apology.

Bullying and obsession are not healthy behaviors, pp.

Calling out a liar isn’t “bullying”.

Word. Let this thread be a living document of what it's like to have mentally ill family members who try to gaslight you.

Was just going to post this. I had been avoiding this thread but finally clicked on it and it was exactly what I expected it to be.

So many posters tell on themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter?

If someone decides someone else brings turmoil and negativity to their life, that is enough- whatever their reason is.

I'm a firm believer of surrounding yourself with people you love, enjoy being around, and equally love and respect you.

Just because "family" doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship that makes you feel terrible.

You're missing the point. If someone else brings turmoil and negativity, you have a choice. You can cut them off, or you can set boundaries and try to compromise and work for change.

Also there's an issue in defining "turmoil and negativity." Does mom's desire to spend Thanksgiving with the grandkids really fall into that bucket?

Each individual can define turmoil and negativity. That’s the beauty of it all.

And some individuals define the slightest offense or misunderstanding as “turmoil and negativity”. Just because they can define it themselves doesn’t mean they are right.

+100. Some of these stories are legitimately awful. Other times the poster sounds like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way (mom wants to come for Thanksgiving, the nerve!).

No one was cut off just because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.

Seriously. OMG, give it a rest. It's so embarrassing how you lie.

DP. A number of posters thought that thread was ridiculous.

The same poster is posting these ridiculous lies about “cults” and lying that people “cut off grandparents because they wanted to come for thanksgiving.” No. Sorry.

What is wrong with you? Why aren't you going after the poster who claims someone urged a poster to stay with her rapist? Drama much?

Liar. No one claimed that “someone urged a poster to stay with their rapist”. Why lie when we can all clearly see what was posted?

You should apologize to everyone on the threads for your lies.

Who's the liar? 18:39: "PP is encouraging the PP to stay in touch with family who chose a rapist over their own kid."

You can apologize now.

Thanks for proving my point. That says “stay in touch with family”, not “stay in touch with the rapist”.

Still waiting on that apology.

Bullying and obsession are not healthy behaviors, pp.

Calling out a liar isn’t “bullying”.

Word. Let this thread be a living document of what it's like to have mentally ill family members who try to gaslight you.

Was just going to post this. I had been avoiding this thread but finally clicked on it and it was exactly what I expected it to be.

So many posters tell on themselves.

Your bullying attacks are really problematic. Who cares what another poster said, do you have to pursue them for pages demanding apologies? You're definitely part of the problem here and probably in your personal life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They invited my H’s childhood rapist to Xmas. Then said family is family and you can’t tell us who we can invite.

That is horrible! It's so hard for those of us who've been hurt, but try to stay in contact. Your dh's family essentially told him he doesn't matter. The sad thing is, if he cuts them out of his life, they'll say it's because he is effed up.

This is the sort of well-meaning but completely naive things people who aren’t from families like this say

When these people decided to include the child rapist in Christmas, they DID show that the victim doesn’t matter to them. Once you show that, there is no relationship to salvage. There is zero reason for the victim to stay in contact with people who don’t love him or show him the most baseline level of respect. And of course they will say the reason is that the victim is messed up - enablers are not people committed to seeking truth or responsibility. This is how abusive families work.

+1

Seems like that PP is an enabler.

Do you approach every argument in your life with delusional fantasies about the other person? Your parents must be exhausted. I bet they’re glad you’re out of the picture.

PP is encouraging the PP to stay in touch with family who chose a rapist over their own kid.

Nobody said that. You make everything up.

Yes, they did.

Scroll up: “but try to stay in contact”

I meant the victim oftentimes tries to stay in contact, and I was certainly not encouraging them to try to stay in contact. I was speaking from my experience where I have tried to stay in contact with a toxic, abusive family member who has hurt me. Why? To keep the peace in the family. I tried ignoring, grey rock, fighting, reasoning, pleading, emotional distance, etc. Ultimately, I had to go no contact.