Teenage daughter troubles

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t “call her out” on anything. It will not be helpful and will further alienate you. Love her, support her, send money to her if you want. Have all your messages to her be positive and not needy of seeded in obligation (you don’t call me, you forgot grandma, etc.). Let her know you love her and are there for her. Offer to come visit. Keep it all very loving and positive. No guilt tripping. Hopefully she comes around eventually, but that likely won’t happen while living with mother. Her instinct now is to please her mother, since she is living with her.

Mom of a teenager here...is this supposed to be sarcastic? This is ridiculous. He will only create an entitled young woman

Entitled to what? She doesn’t owe him anything...really. He doesn’t need to keep sending money if he doesn’t want to and isn’t legally obligated. But he can if he wants to. He shouldn’t expect anything in return though. That is how good parents operate. She doesn’t owe him a specific relationship on his terms. Be nice, be kind, be loving, and see what comes of it.

OP here that is exactly what I did but for 18 years it's always been on their terms. I have tried and tried. Am I not entitled to be treated like a father or do I just accept I'm no more than an ATM?

OP, yes, you’re no more than an ATM to them. She’s 18 you owe them nothing anymore. Move on and when your daughter decide not to behave not like a brat and be more considerate you can open yourself up to have a relationship. They’ve controlled the situation for far too long. Focus on your 3 year old daughter.

Question: as a custodial mom, am I also allowed to "move on" from my teen daughter when she acts like a brat?

Sure. Once she is 18. Or you could have made sure that you co-parented amicably with your ex and the child had a relationship with both parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think cutting her off for not giving you enough attention is sending a bad message...that your financial support is contingent on her showing affection and/or that you think you should be able to "buy" her feelings.

She is 18, still so young. She will likely come around in her 20s and see that you were a good dad who tried your best and that her mom unfairly made you out to be a villain. Don't give the mom ammunition by trying to wield your money as a weapon

OP here I have said no where I am cutting the child support off. I said I am paying until she finishes higher education. The mom said she wants money until 27.
The truth is as hard as it is to accept the only time my daughter makes an effort is close to her birthday or Christmas- this is then soon followed by here is my wish list. Rest of the year I get ignored for weeks on end. it is not me who has made this about money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you've done everything you could do but the fact is, you did not raise your DD. That's the sad fact. You have to accept that you have the relationship with her that is the result of being raised solely by her mom.

You're using child support as a weapon instead of something that is your responsibility as a parent.

OP here again I sent the child support directly to my daughter and not he mom as she is 18 now. My daughter is the one who stopped talking to me after she sent me threatening email demanding I put it her paypal account and she will transfer it to my daughter.

My daughter said send the money to mom I am not in the mood to speak with you and need space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think cutting her off for not giving you enough attention is sending a bad message...that your financial support is contingent on her showing affection and/or that you think you should be able to "buy" her feelings.

She is 18, still so young. She will likely come around in her 20s and see that you were a good dad who tried your best and that her mom unfairly made you out to be a villain. Don't give the mom ammunition by trying to wield your money as a weapon

OP here I have said no where I am cutting the child support off. I said I am paying until she finishes higher education. The mom said she wants money until 27.
The truth is as hard as it is to accept the only time my daughter makes an effort is close to her birthday or Christmas- this is then soon followed by here is my wish list. Rest of the year I get ignored for weeks on end. it is not me who has made this about money.

your daughter sounds like a terrible person just like her mom!! sometimes it is hard to accept that our kids suck. focus on your American Family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think cutting her off for not giving you enough attention is sending a bad message...that your financial support is contingent on her showing affection and/or that you think you should be able to "buy" her feelings.

She is 18, still so young. She will likely come around in her 20s and see that you were a good dad who tried your best and that her mom unfairly made you out to be a villain. Don't give the mom ammunition by trying to wield your money as a weapon

OP here I have said no where I am cutting the child support off. I said I am paying until she finishes higher education. The mom said she wants money until 27.
The truth is as hard as it is to accept the only time my daughter makes an effort is close to her birthday or Christmas- this is then soon followed by here is my wish list. Rest of the year I get ignored for weeks on end. it is not me who has made this about money.

your daughter sounds like a terrible person just like her mom!! sometimes it is hard to accept that our kids suck. focus on your American Family.

Stop dumping on the mom. It's not easy raising kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you've done everything you could do but the fact is, you did not raise your DD. That's the sad fact. You have to accept that you have the relationship with her that is the result of being raised solely by her mom.

You're using child support as a weapon instead of something that is your responsibility as a parent.

OP here again I sent the child support directly to my daughter and not he mom as she is 18 now. My daughter is the one who stopped talking to me after she sent me threatening email demanding I put it her paypal account and she will transfer it to my daughter.

My daughter said send the money to mom I am not in the mood to speak with you and need space.

Do you love your daughter? Do you miss her company? Do you want to spend more time with her, IRL? Tell her that in a way that's not dragging all the negativity about her mom and child support into it. You can't expect her to be close to you when you're tearing down her mom. Tell her you want to spend more time with her so you can get to know her better. Tell her that being around your 3 year old has made you realize how much you've missed out on. Tell her you're sorry you haven't been there for her more but that you want to change that. Etc. (If that's how you feel....) You've said a lot about how ripped off and used you feel but not much about loving your DD.

[Anonymous]

Gotta love grown men trying to hold teenagers to a standard most adults themselves are incapable of meeting. Teenage daughter I don’t really know, acting ungrateful and self-absorbed! More at 11.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you've done everything you could do but the fact is, you did not raise your DD. That's the sad fact. You have to accept that you have the relationship with her that is the result of being raised solely by her mom.

You're using child support as a weapon instead of something that is your responsibility as a parent.

OP here again I sent the child support directly to my daughter and not he mom as she is 18 now. My daughter is the one who stopped talking to me after she sent me threatening email demanding I put it her paypal account and she will transfer it to my daughter.

My daughter said send the money to mom I am not in the mood to speak with you and need space.

Do you love your daughter? Do you miss her company? Do you want to spend more time with her, IRL? Tell her that in a way that's not dragging all the negativity about her mom and child support into it. You can't expect her to be close to you when you're tearing down her mom. Tell her you want to spend more time with her so you can get to know her better. Tell her that being around your 3 year old has made you realize how much you've missed out on. Tell her you're sorry you haven't been there for her more but that you want to change that. Etc. (If that's how you feel....) You've said a lot about how ripped off and used you feel but not much about loving your DD.

Mom here, why should he pander to the daughter? she is old enough to want a relationship. and it seems it is the mom who is using the daughter to get money. this will continue until the daughter finishes schoiol. Cut the mom out. daughter is 18 you owe her nothing. she will come around or not. you have another daughter focus on her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you've done everything you could do but the fact is, you did not raise your DD. That's the sad fact. You have to accept that you have the relationship with her that is the result of being raised solely by her mom.

You're using child support as a weapon instead of something that is your responsibility as a parent.

OP here again I sent the child support directly to my daughter and not he mom as she is 18 now. My daughter is the one who stopped talking to me after she sent me threatening email demanding I put it her paypal account and she will transfer it to my daughter.

My daughter said send the money to mom I am not in the mood to speak with you and need space.

Do you love your daughter? Do you miss her company? Do you want to spend more time with her, IRL? Tell her that in a way that's not dragging all the negativity about her mom and child support into it. You can't expect her to be close to you when you're tearing down her mom. Tell her you want to spend more time with her so you can get to know her better. Tell her that being around your 3 year old has made you realize how much you've missed out on. Tell her you're sorry you haven't been there for her more but that you want to change that. Etc. (If that's how you feel....) You've said a lot about how ripped off and used you feel but not much about loving your DD.

read his posts the mom sent the email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you've done everything you could do but the fact is, you did not raise your DD. That's the sad fact. You have to accept that you have the relationship with her that is the result of being raised solely by her mom.

You're using child support as a weapon instead of something that is your responsibility as a parent.

OP here again I sent the child support directly to my daughter and not he mom as she is 18 now. My daughter is the one who stopped talking to me after she sent me threatening email demanding I put it her paypal account and she will transfer it to my daughter.

My daughter said send the money to mom I am not in the mood to speak with you and need space.

Do you love your daughter? Do you miss her company? Do you want to spend more time with her, IRL? Tell her that in a way that's not dragging all the negativity about her mom and child support into it. You can't expect her to be close to you when you're tearing down her mom. Tell her you want to spend more time with her so you can get to know her better. Tell her that being around your 3 year old has made you realize how much you've missed out on. Tell her you're sorry you haven't been there for her more but that you want to change that. Etc. (If that's how you feel....) You've said a lot about how ripped off and used you feel but not much about loving your DD.

Mom here, why should he pander to the daughter? she is old enough to want a relationship. and it seems it is the mom who is using the daughter to get money. this will continue until the daughter finishes schoiol. Cut the mom out. daughter is 18 you owe her nothing. she will come around or not. you have another daughter focus on her

Loving your child, missing them and wanting to get to know them -- that's PANDERING to them? Wow. Hard to grasp where you're coming from, PP. Do you even have kids?

[Anonymous]

Why on earth would you expect her to take an interest in your toddler? Your expectations are very, very out of whack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you've done everything you could do but the fact is, you did not raise your DD. That's the sad fact. You have to accept that you have the relationship with her that is the result of being raised solely by her mom.

You're using child support as a weapon instead of something that is your responsibility as a parent.

OP here again I sent the child support directly to my daughter and not he mom as she is 18 now. My daughter is the one who stopped talking to me after she sent me threatening email demanding I put it her paypal account and she will transfer it to my daughter.

My daughter said send the money to mom I am not in the mood to speak with you and need space.

Do you love your daughter? Do you miss her company? Do you want to spend more time with her, IRL? Tell her that in a way that's not dragging all the negativity about her mom and child support into it. You can't expect her to be close to you when you're tearing down her mom. Tell her you want to spend more time with her so you can get to know her better. Tell her that being around your 3 year old has made you realize how much you've missed out on. Tell her you're sorry you haven't been there for her more but that you want to change that. Etc. (If that's how you feel....) You've said a lot about how ripped off and used you feel but not much about loving your DD.

Mom here, why should he pander to the daughter? she is old enough to want a relationship. and it seems it is the mom who is using the daughter to get money. this will continue until the daughter finishes schoiol. Cut the mom out. daughter is 18 you owe her nothing. she will come around or not. you have another daughter focus on her

Loving your child, missing them and wanting to get to know them -- that's PANDERING to them? Wow. Hard to grasp where you're coming from, PP. Do you even have kids?

I do thank you. I have also read that he wrote he tried to get to know her. Perhaps you should read properly. Bitter woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you expect her to take an interest in your toddler? Your expectations are very, very out of whack.

Why not??? Then I think it's fair to say step mom shouldn't take an interest in this brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you expect her to take an interest in your toddler? Your expectations are very, very out of whack.

Written by someone from the fist wife club lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you expect her to take an interest in your toddler? Your expectations are very, very out of whack.

Written by someone from the fist wife club lol

***first