Man I’m dating constantly rescues 21 yr old daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, OP. It could be him/her, or it could be you. I am extremely wary of women who dislike their partner’s daughters.

My mother died when I was a teen. My dad threw himself into dating, and would take the advice and modify his lifestyle to suit each new woman. Many of them seemed to view me as competition, some kind of useless leech about whom they needed to “show” my dad the truth.

Here are some things my dad’s girlfriends viewed as “bratty”, “clingy”, and generally unreasonable:

1. Wanting to be allowed to have a high school graduation party (small, just a few friends, and we were studious, well-behaved kids) at home.

2. Asking my dad for a bottle of perfume for my 17th birthday (my dad was financially comfortable and the perfume was expensive for perfume; my dad’s girlfriend ranted and raved about how a girl my age had no business with something like that, and SHE was happy with the Body Shop when she was my age. Also, this was months after my mom’s death).

3. Wanting my dad to come to my college graduation. He didn’t, finally, because she “needed” him to help her pick out a new car.

4. Asking if I could live at home until I had saved a down payment for an apartment. This would have taken a few months because I had a job lined up after graduation. The answer was ultimately no.

5. Asking my dad to LEND me a down payment for my first apartment right after college. I had a job lined up but nowhere to go from the dorms and no money for a down payment. He ultimately refused, after much talk with his girlfriend who said I needed to “learn to make it” on my own. The story of how I lived for a few months until I got a down payment makes me so angry for my 22 year old self.

Sorry, but I have learned that women are naturally distrustful of a partner’s daughter, and they never, ever view the partner’s daughter they way they would their own child.

This is called projecting. See a therapist. She was absolutely correct about #2 and #5. . And your dad agreed to these things. His choice he was a grown man. So you should be mad at him too.

What rotting fruit did this responder crawl out from under?
It's wrong for a 17 year old to ask for perfume as a present?
Refusing to help a kid get domiciled after college graduation? Additionally, it was a loan, not a freebie?
What kind of parent is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, OP. It could be him/her, or it could be you. I am extremely wary of women who dislike their partner’s daughters.

My mother died when I was a teen. My dad threw himself into dating, and would take the advice and modify his lifestyle to suit each new woman. Many of them seemed to view me as competition, some kind of useless leech about whom they needed to “show” my dad the truth.

Here are some things my dad’s girlfriends viewed as “bratty”, “clingy”, and generally unreasonable:

1. Wanting to be allowed to have a high school graduation party (small, just a few friends, and we were studious, well-behaved kids) at home.

2. Asking my dad for a bottle of perfume for my 17th birthday (my dad was financially comfortable and the perfume was expensive for perfume; my dad’s girlfriend ranted and raved about how a girl my age had no business with something like that, and SHE was happy with the Body Shop when she was my age. Also, this was months after my mom’s death).

3. Wanting my dad to come to my college graduation. He didn’t, finally, because she “needed” him to help her pick out a new car.

4. Asking if I could live at home until I had saved a down payment for an apartment. This would have taken a few months because I had a job lined up after graduation. The answer was ultimately no.

5. Asking my dad to LEND me a down payment for my first apartment right after college. I had a job lined up but nowhere to go from the dorms and no money for a down payment. He ultimately refused, after much talk with his girlfriend who said I needed to “learn to make it” on my own. The story of how I lived for a few months until I got a down payment makes me so angry for my 22 year old self.

Sorry, but I have learned that women are naturally distrustful of a partner’s daughter, and they never, ever view the partner’s daughter they way they would their own child.

This is called projecting. See a therapist. She was absolutely correct about #2 and #5. . And your dad agreed to these things. His choice he was a grown man. So you should be mad at him too.

What rotting fruit did this responder crawl out from under?
It's wrong for a 17 year old to ask for perfume as a present?
Refusing to help a kid get domiciled after college graduation? Additionally, it was a loan, not a freebie?
What kind of parent is this?

They can ask for whatever they want but sn expensive perfume is ridiculous especially for a 17. That would likely be on the pay for it in part with money from your job savings or if you got good grades. Etc The bigger issue is at 30+ years old pp and people like her still thinks she was wronged by not getting this perfume. She's projecting her issues onto op. Not fair to op. Spoiling your kids does nothing but make them rotten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on your original post OP, you are negatively affected both in small and large ways by your BF coddling his adult daughter.

This will not change. Ever. It will continue throughout her life, it will eventually encompass any children she has, and your BF will continue his behavior until he dies.

The best thing you can do is disengage from anything and everything to do with her. You can read up about disengagement tactics.

The most important thing is do not announce that you are disengaging - just slowly but surely extricate yourself from any dealings with BF/daughter's relationship.

If your BF wants to talk about her or her problems/demands, change the subject, make a non-committal remark (Mmm hmm... or... Oh that's too bad.) or else leave the room and go to the bathroom.

If there is a visit or activity planned with daughter, find an excuse to get out of it. Say you have to work, you're sick, a friend is sick, whatever. Don't attend.

Before long you should find your relationship is better for disengagement. You won't know about what is given to daughter because you don't ask and you don't let him tell you. Thus, your resentment is quelled.

Then you may find you have more clarity about how YOU are being treated separately from the daughter issue. If you find that you've disengaged from anything to do with his daughter, yet after some time BF feels he still can criticize your kids then I'd take him to task on that.

This is the only thing that has worked in my case.

The problem is the BF drops plans with Op to rescue daughter.

I asked before what is she getting out of this relationship? Looking in it seems like a very little.

Op says her kids are grown and she doesn't want to marry...she should find a a different guy to go have fun with minus the drama.

Plenty of fish in the sea

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are not happy, move on. Their relationship isn’t going to change, trying to control it is only going to creat drama and end it in an ugly manner. It’s not just her that you find annoying, it’s how he responds to her needs is what you find annoying. He doesn’t approve of your parenting and you find him distasteful, he unconditionally supports his daughter and you find it annoying.

Agree that OP should move on. It’s not about who is right. When you date people with children, you have to take them into consideration. If you don’t like their dynamics, you will not fit in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, OP. It could be him/her, or it could be you. I am extremely wary of women who dislike their partner’s daughters.

My mother died when I was a teen. My dad threw himself into dating, and would take the advice and modify his lifestyle to suit each new woman. Many of them seemed to view me as competition, some kind of useless leech about whom they needed to “show” my dad the truth.

Here are some things my dad’s girlfriends viewed as “bratty”, “clingy”, and generally unreasonable:

1. Wanting to be allowed to have a high school graduation party (small, just a few friends, and we were studious, well-behaved kids) at home.

2. Asking my dad for a bottle of perfume for my 17th birthday (my dad was financially comfortable and the perfume was expensive for perfume; my dad’s girlfriend ranted and raved about how a girl my age had no business with something like that, and SHE was happy with the Body Shop when she was my age. Also, this was months after my mom’s death).

3. Wanting my dad to come to my college graduation. He didn’t, finally, because she “needed” him to help her pick out a new car.

4. Asking if I could live at home until I had saved a down payment for an apartment. This would have taken a few months because I had a job lined up after graduation. The answer was ultimately no.

5. Asking my dad to LEND me a down payment for my first apartment right after college. I had a job lined up but nowhere to go from the dorms and no money for a down payment. He ultimately refused, after much talk with his girlfriend who said I needed to “learn to make it” on my own. The story of how I lived for a few months until I got a down payment makes me so angry for my 22 year old self.

Sorry, but I have learned that women are naturally distrustful of a partner’s daughter, and they never, ever view the partner’s daughter they way they would their own child.

This is called projecting. See a therapist. She was absolutely correct about #2 and #5. . And your dad agreed to these things. His choice he was a grown man. So you should be mad at him too.

What rotting fruit did this responder crawl out from under?
It's wrong for a 17 year old to ask for perfume as a present?
Refusing to help a kid get domiciled after college graduation? Additionally, it was a loan, not a freebie?
What kind of parent is this?

They can ask for whatever they want but sn expensive perfume is ridiculous especially for a 17. That would likely be on the pay for it in part with money from your job savings or if you got good grades. Etc The bigger issue is at 30+ years old pp and people like her still thinks she was wronged by not getting this perfume. She's projecting her issues onto op. Not fair to op. Spoiling your kids does nothing but make them rotten.

You should try reading again. PP said she was considered bratty for wanting it.

My suspicion is that PP’s mom would have gotten her the perfume, or at least considered it. Then her mom passes away and suddenly she has a stepmother telling her dad how much to spend on her.

[Anonymous]

I think you should break up with this guy. I could not respect someone with such weak parenting skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, OP. It could be him/her, or it could be you. I am extremely wary of women who dislike their partner’s daughters.

My mother died when I was a teen. My dad threw himself into dating, and would take the advice and modify his lifestyle to suit each new woman. Many of them seemed to view me as competition, some kind of useless leech about whom they needed to “show” my dad the truth.

Here are some things my dad’s girlfriends viewed as “bratty”, “clingy”, and generally unreasonable:

1. Wanting to be allowed to have a high school graduation party (small, just a few friends, and we were studious, well-behaved kids) at home.

2. Asking my dad for a bottle of perfume for my 17th birthday (my dad was financially comfortable and the perfume was expensive for perfume; my dad’s girlfriend ranted and raved about how a girl my age had no business with something like that, and SHE was happy with the Body Shop when she was my age. Also, this was months after my mom’s death).

3. Wanting my dad to come to my college graduation. He didn’t, finally, because she “needed” him to help her pick out a new car.

4. Asking if I could live at home until I had saved a down payment for an apartment. This would have taken a few months because I had a job lined up after graduation. The answer was ultimately no.

5. Asking my dad to LEND me a down payment for my first apartment right after college. I had a job lined up but nowhere to go from the dorms and no money for a down payment. He ultimately refused, after much talk with his girlfriend who said I needed to “learn to make it” on my own. The story of how I lived for a few months until I got a down payment makes me so angry for my 22 year old self.

Sorry, but I have learned that women are naturally distrustful of a partner’s daughter, and they never, ever view the partner’s daughter they way they would their own child.

This is called projecting. See a therapist. She was absolutely correct about #2 and #5. . And your dad agreed to these things. His choice he was a grown man. So you should be mad at him too.

What rotting fruit did this responder crawl out from under?
It's wrong for a 17 year old to ask for perfume as a present?
Refusing to help a kid get domiciled after college graduation? Additionally, it was a loan, not a freebie?
What kind of parent is this?

They can ask for whatever they want but sn expensive perfume is ridiculous especially for a 17. That would likely be on the pay for it in part with money from your job savings or if you got good grades. Etc The bigger issue is at 30+ years old pp and people like her still thinks she was wronged by not getting this perfume. She's projecting her issues onto op. Not fair to op. Spoiling your kids does nothing but make them rotten.

It was a present. Lighten up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, OP. It could be him/her, or it could be you. I am extremely wary of women who dislike their partner’s daughters.

My mother died when I was a teen. My dad threw himself into dating, and would take the advice and modify his lifestyle to suit each new woman. Many of them seemed to view me as competition, some kind of useless leech about whom they needed to “show” my dad the truth.

Here are some things my dad’s girlfriends viewed as “bratty”, “clingy”, and generally unreasonable:

1. Wanting to be allowed to have a high school graduation party (small, just a few friends, and we were studious, well-behaved kids) at home.

2. Asking my dad for a bottle of perfume for my 17th birthday (my dad was financially comfortable and the perfume was expensive for perfume; my dad’s girlfriend ranted and raved about how a girl my age had no business with something like that, and SHE was happy with the Body Shop when she was my age. Also, this was months after my mom’s death).

3. Wanting my dad to come to my college graduation. He didn’t, finally, because she “needed” him to help her pick out a new car.

4. Asking if I could live at home until I had saved a down payment for an apartment. This would have taken a few months because I had a job lined up after graduation. The answer was ultimately no.

5. Asking my dad to LEND me a down payment for my first apartment right after college. I had a job lined up but nowhere to go from the dorms and no money for a down payment. He ultimately refused, after much talk with his girlfriend who said I needed to “learn to make it” on my own. The story of how I lived for a few months until I got a down payment makes me so angry for my 22 year old self.

Sorry, but I have learned that women are naturally distrustful of a partner’s daughter, and they never, ever view the partner’s daughter they way they would their own child.

This is called projecting. See a therapist. She was absolutely correct about #2 and #5. . And your dad agreed to these things. His choice he was a grown man. So you should be mad at him too.

I am not the PP

So the girlfriend is "right"? And what did that get her?

A husband who had to go against his daughters birthday wishes and a step daughter who was hurt but an overstepping woman.

Gee, good thing she was "right" because she certainly had no interest in being a warm and loving person in her step daughters life. Nope, it was more important for her to be "right".

And this, folks, is why people generally stink at having healthy relationships. Because it's more important for them to be "right".

Ooof. That last line is so true. I’m going to try to remember that the next time I have a disagreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea it sucks. My 21yo stepdaughter does hardcore drugs and porn. People help her get real jobs and apprenticeships, and she gets fired every time because she takes tons of mental health days. H does and says nothing because he wants her to feel “comfortable” telling him.

I just make sure none of my money goes to her and keep separate finances.

I would flip if H tried to comment on my parenting, tho. He knows to say nothing other than “you’re a fantastic mom!” lol

How is porn not a real job? Judgmental much?

Np here. It's not a real job. It's exploration and I highly doubt you'd want your child to be a porn star.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, OP. It could be him/her, or it could be you. I am extremely wary of women who dislike their partner’s daughters.

My mother died when I was a teen. My dad threw himself into dating, and would take the advice and modify his lifestyle to suit each new woman. Many of them seemed to view me as competition, some kind of useless leech about whom they needed to “show” my dad the truth.

Here are some things my dad’s girlfriends viewed as “bratty”, “clingy”, and generally unreasonable:

1. Wanting to be allowed to have a high school graduation party (small, just a few friends, and we were studious, well-behaved kids) at home.

2. Asking my dad for a bottle of perfume for my 17th birthday (my dad was financially comfortable and the perfume was expensive for perfume; my dad’s girlfriend ranted and raved about how a girl my age had no business with something like that, and SHE was happy with the Body Shop when she was my age. Also, this was months after my mom’s death).

3. Wanting my dad to come to my college graduation. He didn’t, finally, because she “needed” him to help her pick out a new car.

4. Asking if I could live at home until I had saved a down payment for an apartment. This would have taken a few months because I had a job lined up after graduation. The answer was ultimately no.

5. Asking my dad to LEND me a down payment for my first apartment right after college. I had a job lined up but nowhere to go from the dorms and no money for a down payment. He ultimately refused, after much talk with his girlfriend who said I needed to “learn to make it” on my own. The story of how I lived for a few months until I got a down payment makes me so angry for my 22 year old self.

Sorry, but I have learned that women are naturally distrustful of a partner’s daughter, and they never, ever view the partner’s daughter they way they would their own child.

This is called projecting. See a therapist. She was absolutely correct about #2 and #5. . And your dad agreed to these things. His choice he was a grown man. So you should be mad at him too.

What rotting fruit did this responder crawl out from under?
It's wrong for a 17 year old to ask for perfume as a present?
Refusing to help a kid get domiciled after college graduation? Additionally, it was a loan, not a freebie?
What kind of parent is this?

They can ask for whatever they want but sn expensive perfume is ridiculous especially for a 17. That would likely be on the pay for it in part with money from your job savings or if you got good grades. Etc The bigger issue is at 30+ years old pp and people like her still thinks she was wronged by not getting this perfume. She's projecting her issues onto op. Not fair to op. Spoiling your kids does nothing but make them rotten.

You should try reading again. PP said she was considered bratty for wanting it.

My suspicion is that PP’s mom would have gotten her the perfume, or at least considered it. Then her mom passes away and suddenly she has a stepmother telling her dad how much to spend on her.

I actually doubt it. I think mom probably was the one to reign things in but since she's passed pp doesn't recall that instead she's transferred all her anger at her mother's passing and her only living parent to her stepmother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, OP. It could be him/her, or it could be you. I am extremely wary of women who dislike their partner’s daughters.

My mother died when I was a teen. My dad threw himself into dating, and would take the advice and modify his lifestyle to suit each new woman. Many of them seemed to view me as competition, some kind of useless leech about whom they needed to “show” my dad the truth.

Here are some things my dad’s girlfriends viewed as “bratty”, “clingy”, and generally unreasonable:

1. Wanting to be allowed to have a high school graduation party (small, just a few friends, and we were studious, well-behaved kids) at home.

2. Asking my dad for a bottle of perfume for my 17th birthday (my dad was financially comfortable and the perfume was expensive for perfume; my dad’s girlfriend ranted and raved about how a girl my age had no business with something like that, and SHE was happy with the Body Shop when she was my age. Also, this was months after my mom’s death).

3. Wanting my dad to come to my college graduation. He didn’t, finally, because she “needed” him to help her pick out a new car.

4. Asking if I could live at home until I had saved a down payment for an apartment. This would have taken a few months because I had a job lined up after graduation. The answer was ultimately no.

5. Asking my dad to LEND me a down payment for my first apartment right after college. I had a job lined up but nowhere to go from the dorms and no money for a down payment. He ultimately refused, after much talk with his girlfriend who said I needed to “learn to make it” on my own. The story of how I lived for a few months until I got a down payment makes me so angry for my 22 year old self.

Sorry, but I have learned that women are naturally distrustful of a partner’s daughter, and they never, ever view the partner’s daughter they way they would their own child.

PP, I'm so sorry you lost your mother and your dad and his gf's were so awful to you. There are some awful women on this board, and OP is one of them. One red flag is their lack of concern for the daughters and trying to make sure the daughters don't get too much as opposed to adding to what the daughters get. No excuse for the men who choose women like this. They're awful parents too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, OP. It could be him/her, or it could be you. I am extremely wary of women who dislike their partner’s daughters.

My mother died when I was a teen. My dad threw himself into dating, and would take the advice and modify his lifestyle to suit each new woman. Many of them seemed to view me as competition, some kind of useless leech about whom they needed to “show” my dad the truth.

Here are some things my dad’s girlfriends viewed as “bratty”, “clingy”, and generally unreasonable:

1. Wanting to be allowed to have a high school graduation party (small, just a few friends, and we were studious, well-behaved kids) at home.

2. Asking my dad for a bottle of perfume for my 17th birthday (my dad was financially comfortable and the perfume was expensive for perfume; my dad’s girlfriend ranted and raved about how a girl my age had no business with something like that, and SHE was happy with the Body Shop when she was my age. Also, this was months after my mom’s death).

3. Wanting my dad to come to my college graduation. He didn’t, finally, because she “needed” him to help her pick out a new car.

4. Asking if I could live at home until I had saved a down payment for an apartment. This would have taken a few months because I had a job lined up after graduation. The answer was ultimately no.

5. Asking my dad to LEND me a down payment for my first apartment right after college. I had a job lined up but nowhere to go from the dorms and no money for a down payment. He ultimately refused, after much talk with his girlfriend who said I needed to “learn to make it” on my own. The story of how I lived for a few months until I got a down payment makes me so angry for my 22 year old self.

Sorry, but I have learned that women are naturally distrustful of a partner’s daughter, and they never, ever view the partner’s daughter they way they would their own child.

This is called projecting. See a therapist. She was absolutely correct about #2 and #5. . And your dad agreed to these things. His choice he was a grown man. So you should be mad at him too.

What rotting fruit did this responder crawl out from under?
It's wrong for a 17 year old to ask for perfume as a present?
Refusing to help a kid get domiciled after college graduation? Additionally, it was a loan, not a freebie?
What kind of parent is this?

They can ask for whatever they want but sn expensive perfume is ridiculous especially for a 17. That would likely be on the pay for it in part with money from your job savings or if you got good grades. Etc The bigger issue is at 30+ years old pp and people like her still thinks she was wronged by not getting this perfume. She's projecting her issues onto op. Not fair to op. Spoiling your kids does nothing but make them rotten.

You should try reading again. PP said she was considered bratty for wanting it.

My suspicion is that PP’s mom would have gotten her the perfume, or at least considered it. Then her mom passes away and suddenly she has a stepmother telling her dad how much to spend on her.

I actually doubt it. I think mom probably was the one to reign things in but since she's passed pp doesn't recall that instead she's transferred all her anger at her mother's passing and her only living parent to her stepmother

Asking for a perfume is not "transferring anger'. How much does the MOST expensive perfume cost? $100 for a small sized bottle? Is dad from a red neck impoverished village that he can't afford a $100 gift to his daughter? My son is 16 we divorced with his dad and we split the cost of the very expensive second computer he needed for my house. The total was $5,000, we each paid 2.5K towards it.

Poor, poor children whose moms are dead or poor! I feel for them and hate such step mothers.

OP is not even the official wife but she already dictates him how to parent.

[Anonymous]

Dating anyone with kids is a non-starter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, OP. It could be him/her, or it could be you. I am extremely wary of women who dislike their partner’s daughters.

My mother died when I was a teen. My dad threw himself into dating, and would take the advice and modify his lifestyle to suit each new woman. Many of them seemed to view me as competition, some kind of useless leech about whom they needed to “show” my dad the truth.

Here are some things my dad’s girlfriends viewed as “bratty”, “clingy”, and generally unreasonable:

1. Wanting to be allowed to have a high school graduation party (small, just a few friends, and we were studious, well-behaved kids) at home.

2. Asking my dad for a bottle of perfume for my 17th birthday (my dad was financially comfortable and the perfume was expensive for perfume; my dad’s girlfriend ranted and raved about how a girl my age had no business with something like that, and SHE was happy with the Body Shop when she was my age. Also, this was months after my mom’s death).

3. Wanting my dad to come to my college graduation. He didn’t, finally, because she “needed” him to help her pick out a new car.

4. Asking if I could live at home until I had saved a down payment for an apartment. This would have taken a few months because I had a job lined up after graduation. The answer was ultimately no.

5. Asking my dad to LEND me a down payment for my first apartment right after college. I had a job lined up but nowhere to go from the dorms and no money for a down payment. He ultimately refused, after much talk with his girlfriend who said I needed to “learn to make it” on my own. The story of how I lived for a few months until I got a down payment makes me so angry for my 22 year old self.

Sorry, but I have learned that women are naturally distrustful of a partner’s daughter, and they never, ever view the partner’s daughter they way they would their own child.

This is called projecting. See a therapist. She was absolutely correct about #2 and #5. . And your dad agreed to these things. His choice he was a grown man. So you should be mad at him too.

What rotting fruit did this responder crawl out from under?
It's wrong for a 17 year old to ask for perfume as a present?
Refusing to help a kid get domiciled after college graduation? Additionally, it was a loan, not a freebie?
What kind of parent is this?

They can ask for whatever they want but sn expensive perfume is ridiculous especially for a 17. That would likely be on the pay for it in part with money from your job savings or if you got good grades. Etc The bigger issue is at 30+ years old pp and people like her still thinks she was wronged by not getting this perfume. She's projecting her issues onto op. Not fair to op. Spoiling your kids does nothing but make them rotten.

You should try reading again. PP said she was considered bratty for wanting it.

My suspicion is that PP’s mom would have gotten her the perfume, or at least considered it. Then her mom passes away and suddenly she has a stepmother telling her dad how much to spend on her.

I actually doubt it. I think mom probably was the one to reign things in but since she's passed pp doesn't recall that instead she's transferred all her anger at her mother's passing and her only living parent to her stepmother

I am the daughter who posted this. No, my mom was not “the one to reign things in” because I wasn’t a spoiled, demanding child. At the time I asked for the bottle of perfume (for my 17th birthday, not just because!), I had a 4.0 and worked a part-time job. My dad ASKED me what I wanted for my birthday, and I told him that what I wanted the most was a bottle of Organza perfume. Later, his girlfriend came over and I heard her ranting to my dad about how when she was my age, the Body Shop was good enough for her and that he should get me a $20 gift card to the Body Shop, not the bottle of Organza. (And he did give me the $20 gift card to the Body Shop, with a card that had her name on it as well as his, even though they had only been dating a few months). I have a teen of my own now, and honestly, I would not regard my child as a spoiled brat if she told me she wanted a bottle of perfume after I asked her about birthday presents.

As for lending me the money so that I could have a place to stay after graduation, I provided that for my son two years ago, happily. I don’t see how that makes him a spoiled brat, either. Not only did I GIVE him the down payment for an apartment, I “allowed” him to live at home for six months first. My dad’s girlfriend wouldn’t let me do either of those things, and I ended up in a room in a hoarder house I found on Craigslist, free in exchange for work (and sexual harassment from the father of that house).

Sorry, but I wasn’t a spoiled brat. The things I requested were very reasonable. I was a good kid with good grades, and my mom’s death hit me hard. It would have meant so much for someone to have put me first during that time. But even if there hadn’t been the issue with my mom, it wasn’t only one of my dad’s girlfriends who resented me. This was a theme. I think there must be some kind of evolutionary tic programmed into women, ensuring that they remain wary and combative to unrelated women in their next. I really believe that.

OP, it’s clear you are jealous. Whether you admit that or not, you don’t like that she has a relationship with her dad that doesn’t include you. Please just move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dating anyone with kids is a non-starter.

Very, very few people will care at all about somebody else’s teen, adult kids.