Good provider, super attentive sexually, but not into the family -- what would you do?

[Anonymous]

My DH is extremely successful in his career and very tender towards me. We have a great sex life, and he is extremely attentive to my needs/desires. On the downside, he just can't relate to our relatively young kids (both under 5). I am worried that this is not going to work out long term. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My DH is extremely successful in his career and very tender towards me. We have a great sex life, and he is extremely attentive to my needs/desires. On the downside, he just can't relate to our relatively young kids (both under 5). I am worried that this is not going to work out long term. Any advice?

I had the same issue. He just was not good with especially the youngest kid. But oh, he knew how to make me feel good, so attentive. Difficult situation to navigate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My DH is extremely successful in his career and very tender towards me. We have a great sex life, and he is extremely attentive to my needs/desires. On the downside, he just can't relate to our relatively young kids (both under 5). I am worried that this is not going to work out long term. Any advice?

I had the same issue. He just was not good with especially the youngest kid. But oh, he knew how to make me feel good, so attentive. Difficult situation to navigate.

Not that difficult, c'mon. You take care of kids and let him take care of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My DH is extremely successful in his career and very tender towards me. We have a great sex life, and he is extremely attentive to my needs/desires. On the downside, he just can't relate to our relatively young kids (both under 5). I am worried that this is not going to work out long term. Any advice?

I had the same issue. He just was not good with especially the youngest kid. But oh, he knew how to make me feel good, so attentive. Difficult situation to navigate.

Not that difficult, c'mon. You take care of kids and let him take care of you.

No, at some point you give up on him because he doesn't have the bigger picture in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My DH is extremely successful in his career and very tender towards me. We have a great sex life, and he is extremely attentive to my needs/desires. On the downside, he just can't relate to our relatively young kids (both under 5). I am worried that this is not going to work out long term. Any advice?

I had the same issue. He just was not good with especially the youngest kid. But oh, he knew how to make me feel good, so attentive. Difficult situation to navigate.

Not that difficult, c'mon. You take care of kids and let him take care of you.

No, at some point you give up on him because he doesn't have the bigger picture in mind.

No, he'll come around to that eventually, but in the meantime let him keep me happy.

[Anonymous]

Wait, are you the OP of the other thread about your surgeon husband who works "7 days a week", "hot sex" with you daily, yada yada, but can't be bothered with family/kids?

I think that thread was deleted because it was clearly a troll post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wait, are you the OP of the other thread about your surgeon husband who works "7 days a week", "hot sex" with you daily, yada yada, but can't be bothered with family/kids?

I think that thread was deleted because it was clearly a troll post?

Nope. Honest question on my part -- what should I do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Wait, are you the OP of the other thread about your surgeon husband who works "7 days a week", "hot sex" with you daily, yada yada, but can't be bothered with family/kids?

I think that thread was deleted because it was clearly a troll post?

Nope. Honest question on my part -- what should I do?

This raises the fair question of how much we ladies are willing to look the other way if a guy really lights us up, even if they are not the perfect long-term match. I say a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Wait, are you the OP of the other thread about your surgeon husband who works "7 days a week", "hot sex" with you daily, yada yada, but can't be bothered with family/kids?

I think that thread was deleted because it was clearly a troll post?

Nope. Honest question on my part -- what should I do?

Honest question: Do you think some other random guy you meet and date us going to be more interested in your kids?

That’s a harsh way of putting it but there’s nothing to do. Divorcing him only makes life worse fir your kids. It’s not like it would be easy to find another guy to take his place. It sucks. Make the best of it.

[Anonymous]

I would stick with it. You are imagining that other men will be lovey, dovey to young kids and their mom that you might end up dating?
It is not "right" that he is not into kids, but he might get into kids, sadly we still live in a society where you might need to give him a push. Tell him he must go to a parent-teacher conference, take the kids to an activity, or park. Have him take kids for ice cream.
He is a good provider you say, well, how will it be trading for not having him there, having no income that he provides when your alimony is cut off at some point? Having kids not have a dad at all.
Of all the reasons we see for divorce, I mean this one is by fat most flippant.
Would it be great if he was more into kids? Yes, but the alternatives are what.... no dad at all, you on your own with kids? How is that better?
I am sure it will be so much better for your kids that some Smoe Joe their mom ends up having sex with and ditching them for yet another guy, will be so awesome. Now they will have no dad, and mom that is going from one guy to another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Wait, are you the OP of the other thread about your surgeon husband who works "7 days a week", "hot sex" with you daily, yada yada, but can't be bothered with family/kids?

I think that thread was deleted because it was clearly a troll post?

Nope. Honest question on my part -- what should I do?

You should grow up.

[Anonymous]

This is not a problem. Really. Do not blow up your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My DH is extremely successful in his career and very tender towards me. We have a great sex life, and he is extremely attentive to my needs/desires. On the downside, he just can't relate to our relatively young kids (both under 5). I am worried that this is not going to work out long term. Any advice?

I had the same issue. He just was not good with especially the youngest kid. But oh, he knew how to make me feel good, so attentive. Difficult situation to navigate.

Not that difficult, c'mon. You take care of kids and let him take care of you.

No, at some point you give up on him because he doesn't have the bigger picture in mind.

Give up? For what? Do you actually think there is "better' out there? Especially for a divorcee with kids? Sure, there might be, somewhere, over the rainbow!
Don't be a pu**y, many women had to deal with this same issue, it is not ideal, but they managed to make their husbands become awesome fathers. Plan hikes, plan movies, plan outings. Also ask yourself, if you are the type that locked your family in during covid, how is he going to do any of it if you are especially anxious?
if you are not, take off, tell him, I am off to the movies, see you in 3 hours, deal with it. He will deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a problem. Really. Do not blow up your marriage.

RIght? My SIL blew up her marriage, but her DH was no attention to her or the kids but was a good provider and sex was good too. She started playing these games, they are your kids too, sure, and she started going out during the separation, and drinking and ended up passing out on the grass in some park. And what did they do? Kids had no mom and no dad and ended up a real mess.
She has been with many guys since, married none of them, kids suffered immensely. I am not saying op will do the same. But, how is it being on her own any better for her or the kids? She will have no sex, he sounds attentive and loving to her as well, she will be on her own all the time with kids, in some other house, with maybe a parade of guys her kids will see. Dad will move on, find another woman, have kids with her.. and possibly have learned his lesson be an attentive dad to other kids he has! And op will have to watch and realize that her kids missed out and he is a loving dad to some other ids.
Grow up op, life is not a fairy tale. Make him into a better dad, many women had to do it. And if he can't be, hire a nanny, hire help you can afford, and realize this is "as good as it gets."
You sound so immature, no doubt you will fall for a serious abusive ass who will then become abusive to your kids.

[Anonymous]

Sex? Check.
Attentive? Check.
Provider? Check.
Not into his own young kids? Like 9 out of 10 guyes. But, no doubt, op will find that one in a million guy who will be just as good to her as her DH and will be so into her kids like their own dad is not!
Oh, and probably will be a pe*o too!