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OP, how much are you paying per week, and how many hours is your nanny working each week?
Not asking to set you up for a scolding, but genuinely curious, especially since you have raised the rate so much from the start.
Not asking to set you up for a scolding, but genuinely curious, especially since you have raised the rate so much from the start.
Care.com is a clearinghouse for people seeking care and people seeking work. I like to think of it as a sort of dating site, like Match, for parents and caregivers.
Care is not an agency. They don't offer actual match making services, they offer minimal advice to parents or caregivers.
I believe most parents on Care UNDERvalue the cost of the service they are seeking, and most caregivers on Care OVERvalue their worth. That makes for a lot of unhappy people.
So, caregivers (with and without any actual paid experience) ask for the moon and the stars, while parents (who are also equally ignorant when it comes to reality based rates) offer $5 per hour or less.
That said, if you have the patience to weed through responses to your ad AND you have a very well written ad, you can find someone on Care to fit your needs. But it takes work.
Care is not an agency. They don't offer actual match making services, they offer minimal advice to parents or caregivers.
I believe most parents on Care UNDERvalue the cost of the service they are seeking, and most caregivers on Care OVERvalue their worth. That makes for a lot of unhappy people.
So, caregivers (with and without any actual paid experience) ask for the moon and the stars, while parents (who are also equally ignorant when it comes to reality based rates) offer $5 per hour or less.
That said, if you have the patience to weed through responses to your ad AND you have a very well written ad, you can find someone on Care to fit your needs. But it takes work.
So what it basically comes down to is an individual's choice of a nanny based on appearance.
But the appearance of being thin isn't everything - those of you who focus solely on the visible need to keep that in mind.
As an example, in high school, I was pretty lazy, didn't eat all that well, but was a fairly acceptable size - 13/14. Big, but not huge. Within the "normal" range on the BMI charts.
I gained a LOT of weight in the next years. Some due to PCOS, a lot due to poor food choices and lack of exercise. I decided to lose weight (thanks phen-fen for not killing me, BTW!) and actually worked hard to do so. Ate right, worked out daily, etc.
And I lost weight. I was back down to a size 14. It was awesome. Funny thing though? I weighed 50+ lbs. more than I had in high school. I was technically "obese".
But hell, I looked like I was "normal", and that's all that matters, right? The fact that I was in very different states of "health" at exactly the same acceptable size doesn't matter, correct?
Judgement of the visual is a stupid way to go. Human, but still stupid. Maybe a better way to judge is a person can do a job is to ask them to do it for a day or two, and see whether they can manage the physical or not.
But the appearance of being thin isn't everything - those of you who focus solely on the visible need to keep that in mind.
As an example, in high school, I was pretty lazy, didn't eat all that well, but was a fairly acceptable size - 13/14. Big, but not huge. Within the "normal" range on the BMI charts.
I gained a LOT of weight in the next years. Some due to PCOS, a lot due to poor food choices and lack of exercise. I decided to lose weight (thanks phen-fen for not killing me, BTW!) and actually worked hard to do so. Ate right, worked out daily, etc.
And I lost weight. I was back down to a size 14. It was awesome. Funny thing though? I weighed 50+ lbs. more than I had in high school. I was technically "obese".
But hell, I looked like I was "normal", and that's all that matters, right? The fact that I was in very different states of "health" at exactly the same acceptable size doesn't matter, correct?
Judgement of the visual is a stupid way to go. Human, but still stupid. Maybe a better way to judge is a person can do a job is to ask them to do it for a day or two, and see whether they can manage the physical or not.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Mannah is AWFUL. I wouldn't let her within ten feet of my own children.
Agree! Did you know that she is "nannydeb" on here?? Same person.
I had no idea!!!!! Makes sense though I always rolled my eyes at nannydeb's comments because she wants people to think she knows it all.
Nice try. Our writing is nothing alike, but if it makes you feel smart that you've "figured out" who I am, I hate to throw cold water on your self-congratulations.
Anonymous wrote:I know this isn't the popular opinion, but I would want to know if my nanny was a lesbian. Especially since I have young daughters.
My children's well-being come before being PC.
Can you elaborate on what your concern would be? I'm truly interested in why you would have an issue.
OP, I don't think your employers have a "need to know" this - it does sound as if they're trying to find the right mix of business/personal relationship with you, and you can choose to keep things perfectly business-like or you can choose to go for the personal "friend" relationship.
I actually liked the suggestion above to tell them when they ask your plans that you're going out to dinner with a guy you know and HIS boyfriend (the original suggestion was "girlfriend" but that can be less than clear, IMO.) and see what they say/how they react.
I hate to be a downer, but considering what the PP implied and said, if you do choose to come out, please be prepared to start your job hunt. Some folks can't cope with those who are different from their personal definition of "normal".
Best of luck to you!
I actually liked the suggestion above to tell them when they ask your plans that you're going out to dinner with a guy you know and HIS boyfriend (the original suggestion was "girlfriend" but that can be less than clear, IMO.) and see what they say/how they react.
I hate to be a downer, but considering what the PP implied and said, if you do choose to come out, please be prepared to start your job hunt. Some folks can't cope with those who are different from their personal definition of "normal".
Best of luck to you!
I think that it's important for you, the nanny, to model good eating habits. I eat much better at work, frankly, than I do at home *because* I want to be a good role model.
In your situation, I'd say something like, "MB, I understand your concern, and I will be happy to make myself lunch and snacks from the food you purchase to serve the kids, so that they can see me eating healthy foods."
If she complains about buying food for you, you can then explain that you do not shop at health food type stores, and do not plan to make that change.
TBH, it sounds as if your MB is drawing a line in the sand, and if you draw your own line, you may wind up leaving this job.
In your situation, I'd say something like, "MB, I understand your concern, and I will be happy to make myself lunch and snacks from the food you purchase to serve the kids, so that they can see me eating healthy foods."
If she complains about buying food for you, you can then explain that you do not shop at health food type stores, and do not plan to make that change.
TBH, it sounds as if your MB is drawing a line in the sand, and if you draw your own line, you may wind up leaving this job.
Micromanagement (in virtually any job) means that your boss doesn't want to (or can't) do the job themselves, but they feel 110% sure that they know the best way TO do the job they don't want/can't do, and they are constantly in your face about how you are doing things all wrong.
Generally speaking, if the micromanager had to do the job he/she doesn't want to do/can't do, all hell would break loose and they would lose their minds.
And yes, this applies to the office boss who just KNOWS the best way to write a sales report, or produce a power point project, or delegate tasks to people.
Generally speaking, if the micromanager had to do the job he/she doesn't want to do/can't do, all hell would break loose and they would lose their minds.
And yes, this applies to the office boss who just KNOWS the best way to write a sales report, or produce a power point project, or delegate tasks to people.
Plan to take her to small claims court, and let her know within 48 hours of getting your short pay that you will be doing just that unless you have all your money by X date.
I buy the groceries, I plan the kids meals, I make the food (from scratch), and I eat with the kids.
When caring for only an infant who is not eating table food, I will bring my own food, and every employer has told me to purchase drinks/snacks for myself when at the store doing their shopping.
When caring for only an infant who is not eating table food, I will bring my own food, and every employer has told me to purchase drinks/snacks for myself when at the store doing their shopping.
Check with the IRS and with HomeWork Solutions as well.
Although I am fairly sure you are, in fact, living under a bridge, I'll offer some advice for those people who might be real and really stupid enough to try to get away with having an affair with an employer.
1) Don't do it.
2) No, really, DON'T DO IT!
3) Seriously, it's the most idiotic move you can make, you'll lose everything, so DON'T. FREAKING. DO, IT!!!
1) Don't do it.
2) No, really, DON'T DO IT!
3) Seriously, it's the most idiotic move you can make, you'll lose everything, so DON'T. FREAKING. DO, IT!!!
Several suggestions, based on the assumption that you are already withholding SS/Med and giving nanny a W-2:
Start withholding Federal and State taxes based on the W-4 your nanny has filled out/needs to fill out. Stop expecting her to take care of filling quarterly - it's a hassle for her, and it's obviously not working.
If you feel the need to offer a financial hand, do so with a small raise that will dull the pain of losing all the Fed/State taxes from her weekly paycheck.
Take the time to determine if you are paying her an appropriate wage based on her experience, education, and job responsibilities, by using your mom network, or one of the "rate calculator" tools on the big nanny finder sites. If she's truly underpaid, give her a raise.
Now, if you are 1099'ing your nanny, my suggestions differ:
This year you need to suck it up and pay the taxes - I believe it might be your legal responsibility to do so, since you failed to properly withhold.
Stop 1099'ing her and treat her as your employee ASAP. Have her fill out a W-4, and start proper withholding. It's going to suck for her to have to start paying taxes, but it's better to know what your take home is and budget for it than to be panicking about thousands owed.
Consider that raise again, IF (and I do mean IF) she is underpaid based on the info you gather.
Start withholding Federal and State taxes based on the W-4 your nanny has filled out/needs to fill out. Stop expecting her to take care of filling quarterly - it's a hassle for her, and it's obviously not working.
If you feel the need to offer a financial hand, do so with a small raise that will dull the pain of losing all the Fed/State taxes from her weekly paycheck.
Take the time to determine if you are paying her an appropriate wage based on her experience, education, and job responsibilities, by using your mom network, or one of the "rate calculator" tools on the big nanny finder sites. If she's truly underpaid, give her a raise.
Now, if you are 1099'ing your nanny, my suggestions differ:
This year you need to suck it up and pay the taxes - I believe it might be your legal responsibility to do so, since you failed to properly withhold.
Stop 1099'ing her and treat her as your employee ASAP. Have her fill out a W-4, and start proper withholding. It's going to suck for her to have to start paying taxes, but it's better to know what your take home is and budget for it than to be panicking about thousands owed.
Consider that raise again, IF (and I do mean IF) she is underpaid based on the info you gather.
Another thing to consider is just how proactive you want nanny to be. Do you prefer to have someone who is more "take charge" and will do things like sort and toss toys, or sort and store outgrown clothes, or do you want be the one to either "assign" those chores, or the one to do them?
One very discouraging thing for any nanny is to be proactive and then find her work either undone or unappreciated. A former employer had a very cluttered existence, and would ask for help with sorting/tossing then follow behind me to "rescue" stuff I tossed.
One very discouraging thing for any nanny is to be proactive and then find her work either undone or unappreciated. A former employer had a very cluttered existence, and would ask for help with sorting/tossing then follow behind me to "rescue" stuff I tossed.
IMO, parents need to determine how much they can (or want) to pay for childcare per week. THEN, they look at the hours they need, and determine the hourly rate, both with and without taking OT into consideration.
Why? Because in my experience, nannies generally fall into 3 main categories:
1) They want the specific weekly rate to be acceptable to them, and either don't know or don't care about hourly and OT. They are "salary mentality" nannies.
2) They want the overall hourly to be acceptable to them, and don't want to hear about OT or "salary".
3) They know exactly how nannies are legally supposed to be paid, and they don't get worked up about a "lower" hourly, knowing that it's a legality, not a judgement of their overall worth.
So, if you want to/can afford to pay $750 per week for 50 hours of nanny care, the response might be:
Nanny Type #1: No, sorry, I want to make $850/week.
NT #2: Ok, $15 is acceptable, but not amazing. Would you consider paying $16/hour? (That's $800 a week.)
NT #3: I'd prefer my base rate to be closer to $14.50, and my OT rate to be closer to $21.75. (That's $797.50/week.) Do you have any flexibility there? Or are you offering guaranteed pay for 50 hours a week with OT specifically outlined as needed?
A lot of parents look purely at "salary", which is where a lot of the issues come from in the wage discussions. A "salary" rate may not offer an hourly that appeals to some, but if the weekly rate is guaranteed, it helps a huge amount.
All that said OP, "going rate" means different things to different people, and your best bet is to look at your budget and search based on what you can/choose to afford. The quality of the candidates you get will show you whether that rate is going to get you a nanny who you feel confident leaving with your children.
Why? Because in my experience, nannies generally fall into 3 main categories:
1) They want the specific weekly rate to be acceptable to them, and either don't know or don't care about hourly and OT. They are "salary mentality" nannies.
2) They want the overall hourly to be acceptable to them, and don't want to hear about OT or "salary".
3) They know exactly how nannies are legally supposed to be paid, and they don't get worked up about a "lower" hourly, knowing that it's a legality, not a judgement of their overall worth.
So, if you want to/can afford to pay $750 per week for 50 hours of nanny care, the response might be:
Nanny Type #1: No, sorry, I want to make $850/week.
NT #2: Ok, $15 is acceptable, but not amazing. Would you consider paying $16/hour? (That's $800 a week.)
NT #3: I'd prefer my base rate to be closer to $14.50, and my OT rate to be closer to $21.75. (That's $797.50/week.) Do you have any flexibility there? Or are you offering guaranteed pay for 50 hours a week with OT specifically outlined as needed?
A lot of parents look purely at "salary", which is where a lot of the issues come from in the wage discussions. A "salary" rate may not offer an hourly that appeals to some, but if the weekly rate is guaranteed, it helps a huge amount.
All that said OP, "going rate" means different things to different people, and your best bet is to look at your budget and search based on what you can/choose to afford. The quality of the candidates you get will show you whether that rate is going to get you a nanny who you feel confident leaving with your children.
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