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Op, if this is a vehicle that YOU, the nanny, drive, and your employers don't drive it (as implied when you speak of it as "the nanny car"), then it's your job to keep it clean.
If, however, the parents use the "nanny car" when you are off duty, perhaps sitting down with them and asking them how often they want you and your charges to clean out the van, and how often they want you to have the van detailed by either a mobile company or a traditional company, whichever is most convenient, would be a good solution.
That way you have a clear understanding of expectations, and you won't have to face a mess 3+ months in the making again.
If, however, the parents use the "nanny car" when you are off duty, perhaps sitting down with them and asking them how often they want you and your charges to clean out the van, and how often they want you to have the van detailed by either a mobile company or a traditional company, whichever is most convenient, would be a good solution.
That way you have a clear understanding of expectations, and you won't have to face a mess 3+ months in the making again.
Although I am a nanny, if I were your employer I would absolutely be offended if you told me my child was "off" and that you wanted more money to take care of him.
However, if you approached me and ask whether I wanted you to do anything specific about XYZ behaviors that made your life and the child's life difficult, with examples of HOW this impacted my child (and you), I would likely be more apt to listen. I would NOT offer a raise though, until and unless I saw that you took action regarding our discussion and had made my child's life easier. Not made your job easier, but positively affected my child's life.
However, if you approached me and ask whether I wanted you to do anything specific about XYZ behaviors that made your life and the child's life difficult, with examples of HOW this impacted my child (and you), I would likely be more apt to listen. I would NOT offer a raise though, until and unless I saw that you took action regarding our discussion and had made my child's life easier. Not made your job easier, but positively affected my child's life.
You drove a dirty van around for 3 months. Your MB had to TELL you to clean it out.
In the first place, you should have dealt with the messy vehicle before your MB had to manage the issue. I can't imagine having a car provided and then allowing it to remain dirty.
Second, you are supposed to be teaching your charges personal responsibility, right? The best way to do that is to lead by example. In your place, I would have been out cleaning the car with their help my 2nd week on the job.
You sound amazingly self-centered and entitled. Huge FAIL on your part.
In the first place, you should have dealt with the messy vehicle before your MB had to manage the issue. I can't imagine having a car provided and then allowing it to remain dirty.
Second, you are supposed to be teaching your charges personal responsibility, right? The best way to do that is to lead by example. In your place, I would have been out cleaning the car with their help my 2nd week on the job.
You sound amazingly self-centered and entitled. Huge FAIL on your part.
Unless your MIL is fairly young and in good shape, she's going to be exhausted by this schedule and commute.
You might want to explore having her work a short shift and having a second person come in from 2 - 6.
You might want to explore having her work a short shift and having a second person come in from 2 - 6.
All employers have to say is, "We reserve the right to have and use cameras at any time during your employment."
At that point, nanny knows the possibility of being cammed exists, and she can choose whether or not to take the job.
Then that fact is put into the nanny work agreement, and signed by all parties.
And employers should never underestimate the power of a drop-in, of neighbors sharing their POV on nanny, or of taking a little time off and taking their child(ren) to their normal activities or of just checking in with teachers at school on occasion.
With the proliferation of horror stories about "nannies" who abuse, neglect, and maltreat their charges, anyone who knows they're around a nanny is liable to watch her very closely.
Of course, generally speaking, the best nannies are often assumed to be their charges moms, so parents shouldn't be freaked out if the response to their questions the first time they show up at kid activities is, "Why are you asking about little Maclaren? Who are YOU?"
At that point, nanny knows the possibility of being cammed exists, and she can choose whether or not to take the job.
Then that fact is put into the nanny work agreement, and signed by all parties.
And employers should never underestimate the power of a drop-in, of neighbors sharing their POV on nanny, or of taking a little time off and taking their child(ren) to their normal activities or of just checking in with teachers at school on occasion.
With the proliferation of horror stories about "nannies" who abuse, neglect, and maltreat their charges, anyone who knows they're around a nanny is liable to watch her very closely.
Of course, generally speaking, the best nannies are often assumed to be their charges moms, so parents shouldn't be freaked out if the response to their questions the first time they show up at kid activities is, "Why are you asking about little Maclaren? Who are YOU?"
Anonymous wrote:Really do not get where this idea of a huge windfall upon letting a nanny to comes from. Op's plan sounds generous Nd sufficient since she is pLnning to give tons of notice. I think a high severance would be needed only if they were for some reason giving her very little notice.
It's called a visible and bankable expression of gratitude. A nanny who has happily been with a family for 9 years is EXTREMELY rare, and that sort of devotion and longevity should be rewarded.
Dear employers,
If you make less than mid-six figures a year and live in a major metropolitan area, research local Cost-of-Living information to determine if the $12,000 a year you wish to pay the 50+ hour a week nanny you hire will allow her to live in more than a cardboard box.
Dear Agencies,
Please be honest and upfront with clients who want everything for $2.25 per hour and tell them you can't help them find a slave.
Please also be honest with nannies about the salaries and benefits offered by your clients. When you send a nanny who must earn a minimum of $800/week on a $600 a week job, YOU look foolish and stupid to both your clients and the nanny.
Dear Nannies,
Please advocate for yourselves, pay your taxes like most everyone else has to do, and stop expecting to get paid $20/hour when you have no actual experience.
Please also stop accepting jobs that pay minimum wage or less. By doing so, you de-value yourself and all of us who do the domestic work of childcare in this country.
If you make less than mid-six figures a year and live in a major metropolitan area, research local Cost-of-Living information to determine if the $12,000 a year you wish to pay the 50+ hour a week nanny you hire will allow her to live in more than a cardboard box.
Dear Agencies,
Please be honest and upfront with clients who want everything for $2.25 per hour and tell them you can't help them find a slave.
Please also be honest with nannies about the salaries and benefits offered by your clients. When you send a nanny who must earn a minimum of $800/week on a $600 a week job, YOU look foolish and stupid to both your clients and the nanny.
Dear Nannies,
Please advocate for yourselves, pay your taxes like most everyone else has to do, and stop expecting to get paid $20/hour when you have no actual experience.
Please also stop accepting jobs that pay minimum wage or less. By doing so, you de-value yourself and all of us who do the domestic work of childcare in this country.
In an effort to treat your post seriously (although given the huge coincidence of you and your nanny posting here in the same time-frame...)
OP, you have every right to ask your nanny to model healthy eating habits at your home . You should speak to your nanny and offer to pay for her to eat the foods YOU prefer she eat, and ask her to refrain from bringing junk food to work.
You also have the right to ask nanny to follow your family habits regarding recycling, etc. Show her what you do, and ask her to do the same at YOUR house.
You have no right whatsoever to ask nanny to change the habits she has during her personal time. If your nanny chooses to eat cheetos and bologna out of toss away plastic containers at her house that's her choice.
P.S. If this is a MB/Nanny posting collision, I'm going to make some popcorn, 'cause this is going to be GOOD!
OP, you have every right to ask your nanny to model healthy eating habits at your home . You should speak to your nanny and offer to pay for her to eat the foods YOU prefer she eat, and ask her to refrain from bringing junk food to work.
You also have the right to ask nanny to follow your family habits regarding recycling, etc. Show her what you do, and ask her to do the same at YOUR house.
You have no right whatsoever to ask nanny to change the habits she has during her personal time. If your nanny chooses to eat cheetos and bologna out of toss away plastic containers at her house that's her choice.
P.S. If this is a MB/Nanny posting collision, I'm going to make some popcorn, 'cause this is going to be GOOD!
OP, while everyone's financial situation is different, I would agree with upping the severance as much as you can.
I got a $1500 year end bonus after 1 year on the job, so...
In addition to whatever you can afford as severance, give as much notice as possible, offer to help her network to find another job, give a letter of reference that will blow the socks off people when she interviews, be available to speak to potential employers, and keep the connection going between her and your family.
Good luck with this big transition!
I got a $1500 year end bonus after 1 year on the job, so...
In addition to whatever you can afford as severance, give as much notice as possible, offer to help her network to find another job, give a letter of reference that will blow the socks off people when she interviews, be available to speak to potential employers, and keep the connection going between her and your family.
Good luck with this big transition!
Anonymous wrote:car, car insurance, room and board is worth another $200-$400/ week, so i don't think the salary is low. BUT, people don't tend to take these costs into account when seeing greener pastures elsewhere. Maybe you should consider reallocating the money to paying a live out nanny more.
A car and car insurance isn't worth much if OP hires people who already HAVE a car that they insure.
I still believe the food issue was completely acceptable, but if your MB is really telling you what to drink from, etc., then you should absolutely resign.
OP, which event will you be attending?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Nannydeb I sincerely hope you were being sarcastic. If you were not being sarcastic then I have seriously lost all of the respect that I once had for you. I'm sure you don't care but I felt the need to say it.
I was shocked by this also. Nannydeb is usually one of the sane, rational, helpful voices on the forum. This seems so out of character.
Oh gosh, I was absolutely being sarcastic! I thought I'd tossed a eye roll icon up, but now I see that I didn't.
I was trying (and apparently failing) to make an obviously sarcastic comment riffing off the "blame all the fat people" line running through this thread.
Sorry!
PP, don't you know PCOS is just an excuse? And Insulin Resistance? It's a big old lie fat people tell to make themselves feel better!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is your pay scale less than what they can earn elsewhere? Based on what you say, that's my guess. I'll bet that if you boost your rate by 3-5/hr, you'll find some of your former nannies coming back. Your job needs to be economically competative (for real). Granted, you'd need to revamp your finances, and eliminate or reduce other expenses.
OP here - Thanks. It's a live-in job, and we've paid more for each successive candidate, with just this thinking in mind. Are now paying over $200 a week more than where we started, plus car (work and leisure use), car insurance, private room and bath, food, all typical room and board type stuff. Plus paid leave and an fixed amount account from which they can draw to periodically travel home (we were concerned homesickness was a factor).
We're in the high 400s a week for almost exactly 40 hours. That does not include the other benefits, leave, etc I mentioned, so those are on top.
OP, how many kids did you have when you hired your first nanny? How many kids do you have now? How old were the kids then and how old are they now?
What household chores have you/do you expect?
I ask because it sounds as if you started out in the low to mid $200/week range, which is VERY low, and may explain why you lost your first 1 or 2 nannies.
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