Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I think the most important things to discuss are expectations, communication, and parenting styles. I also wish more people (employers and nannies!) would discuss what they liked best/least about previous nanny experiences. This gives a lot of insight to what kind of arrangement people are looking to have.

This (the PP who listed all the various questions broke down some ways to discuss this). Especially if you are looking for a live-in or AP you want to make sure you have the expectations laid out up front. What kind of off time is she going to want and do you want to offer? How do you want her pitching in to clean up after herself? What kind of tasks besides childcare (if any) do you want her to do? What kind of communication problems has she run into in the past? How has she resolved them?

However, your overall philosophy of what the nanny's role is beyond childcare is key.

You can hire someone to just take care of your child, do the basics, and have no expectation beyond that. Or, as worked for us, you can hire someone with the expectation that their role is to support the running of your household while you are at work.

This doesn't mean they scrub toilets. This doesn't mean that you micromanage. What it does mean is that this is not someone who thinks a four hour nap is "their time." It's time when mutually agreeable, other household goals can be accomplished. Alternately, on days when your child needs more attention or care, they shouldn't be ignored so the nanny can get through a mandatory list of chores.

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to the MB's: how many of you take a break for one hour or less while you spend all day with your kids? This is including time you take to text, talk on the phone, check your email, or do anything not kid related.

I'm sure if you thought about it, you take nap time and some to recharge your body, take care of your own needs (bathroom, eating, etc), and to not think for a moment. Being with children all day is physically and mentally draining.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to the MB's: how many of you take a break for one hour or less while you spend all day with your kids? This is including time you take to text, talk on the phone, check your email, or do anything not kid related.

I'm sure if you thought about it, you take nap time and some to recharge your body, take care of your own needs (bathroom, eating, etc), and to not think for a moment. Being with children all day is physically and mentally draining.

MB here who only has a PT nanny.

During DC's morning nap, I maybe check my e-mail for 5 min, then race to quickly unload the dishwasher, get any morning dishes cleaned up, then hop into the shower. So I guess the morning nap includes at least 20 minutes of "me" time.

During DC's afternoon nap it varies. On a day when DC has slept well at night I will spend all of it but another 5 or so minutes doing chores - our nanny doesn't do any housecleaning (some days she doesn't even get DC's bottles in the dishwasher...) - and we have no other hired help so on days I'm home I am doing the stay-at-home-mom routine.

Break time really occurs after DC is in bed for the day. It's after DH and I have cleaned up from making dinner, lunches are packed, toys are put away for the night, and the next day is prepped for. Then I get some time to e-mail friends, read a book, etc.

So dang yes my nanny, who only cleans up after her daily activities with DC, gets way more break time in a day than I do.

PP, you chose the role of working mother. Unless it is mutually agreed upon, why would it be your nanny's responsibility to do your chores?

Anonymous wrote:

PP, you chose the role of working mother. Unless it is mutually agreed upon, why would it be your nanny's responsibility to do your chores?

As an employer I get to choose who I hire and I get to choose the job description. I also had no problem finding nannies perfectly willing to do light housekeeping. These nannies had better childcare qualifications than the few who came off as "nap time is my time types".

I would never hire someone so entitled and lazy whose attitude is nap time is my time. What a terrible work ethic! I can't think of any of other profession where someone brags about doing nothing for 4 out of an 8 or 9 hour work day. You are simply an embarrassment to better nannies.

Anonymous wrote:

PP, you chose the role of working mother. Unless it is mutually agreed upon, why would it be your nanny's responsibility to do your chores?

As an employer I get to choose who I hire and I get to choose the job description. I also had no problem finding nannies perfectly willing to do light housekeeping. These nannies had better childcare qualifications than the few who came off as "nap time is my time types".

I would never hire someone so entitled and lazy whose attitude is nap time is my time. What a terrible work ethic! I can't think of any of other profession where someone brags about doing nothing for 4 out of an 8 or 9 hour work day. You are simply an embarrassment to better nannies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

PP, you chose the role of working mother. Unless it is mutually agreed upon, why would it be your nanny's responsibility to do your chores?

As an employer I get to choose who I hire and I get to choose the job description. I also had no problem finding nannies perfectly willing to do light housekeeping. These nannies had better childcare qualifications than the few who came off as "nap time is my time types".

I would never hire someone so entitled and lazy whose attitude is nap time is my time. What a terrible work ethic! I can't think of any of other profession where someone brags about doing nothing for 4 out of an 8 or 9 hour work day. You are simply an embarrassment to better nannies.

I'm not the PP you're replying to, just for the record.

I do light housekeeping for my employers very happily. I also do it very quickly and efficiently and end up still getting to enjoy a good stretch of downtime during most days. If the toddler naps for 3 hours and I get everything done in 45 minutes, I do enjoy that extra time to rest, call Comcast (which is becoming a weekly event at our house), clean up my inbox, and so on. If the only acceptable alternative for my MB is to add odd jobs to my list or to do my assigned tasks more slowly so no one feels "cheated," I'll move on to a different position.

However, to be fair, I experienced the same issue when I worked in an office setting - I got things done quickly and correctly and then had free time, and only after several weeks of my supervisor stepping in to ask to see my reports (and finding them flawless) did they stop assuming I was being lazy and recognized I was performing quite well and simply required less time to get my jobs done. (I don't like moving slowly simply so it looks like I'm busier than I really am...) The difference is that in that setting I was able to achieve promotions (added responsibilities AND increased pay) because of my time management skills. If my MB offered me the same, I'd happily accept. I would not accept an increased workload for the same pay simply because I am good at what I do.

Anonymous wrote:PP, you chose the role of working mother. Unless it is mutually agreed upon, why would it be your nanny's responsibility to do your chores?